Woman Refuses to Let Fiancé Take Their Beloved Cat While They Temporarily Live in Separate Places — Now They're in a 'Fight'
The woman — who shared her story on Reddit — says that they have decided to live separately for a while and "work on" themselves "while still staying together"
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Woman holding a cat (stock image)A woman says she is refusing to let her fiancé take their beloved cat while they temporarily live in separate places — and she’s now wondering if she’s making the right call.
The 26-year-old detailed her story on Reddit’s “Am I the A------” forum, a place where platform users can go to seek advice on interpersonal dilemmas. In the post, the Redditor explains that she and her fiancé, 28, have been together for five years and have lived together for half of that time. However, she says that they have decided to live separately temporarily.
“Our relationship has become an emotional dead zone—we haven’t been affectionate or intimate in a long time, and our home is a complete disaster because, honestly, we just weren’t ready to be on our own,” she explained, adding, “We’ve both been struggling with our mental health, so we’ve decided to move back in with our parents, live separately for a while and work on ourselves while still staying together.”
She goes on to write that she and her fiancé share two cats — Coffee Bean and Mocha — and that while Coffee Bean is “bonded to me,” Mocha is “attached to my fiancé.”
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Couple with two cats (stock images)However, the original poster (OP) reveals that while her fiancé loves Mocha “deeply,” she doesn’t feel “comfortable letting him take her” while they live apart.
The reason? She says his fiance’s mother’s house is “filthy.”
“He goes over daily to clean, but according to him, the place is knee-deep in garbage, rotting food, spiders and cockroaches,” she writes, adding that while her fiancé plans to keep his room clean specifically, Mocha will not be able to roam freely in the rest of the house due to safety concerns.
“I cannot in good conscience send Mocha into that environment,” she says.
Additionally, the OP says that her fiancé can get “overwhelmed” by the amount of attention that Mocha requires, sometimes going into “meltdown mode” when she begs for food or pets “instead of just handling it like I do.”
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The woman says she doesn't want to "hurt" her fiancé as they got Mocha together — even though she is technically the legal owner and the cat's microchip is in her name.
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Cat in woman's lap (stock image)Related: Man's Live-in Girlfriend and Mom Urge Him to Get Rid of His Dog After It's Deemed 'Untrainable'
“I know he loves Mocha, but I genuinely don’t think she will be safe or happy at his mom’s house. When I brought this up, he got upset, and we had a fight,” she continued. She concluded her post by asking her fellow Redditors: “Would I be the a------ if I refused to let him take Mocha?”
Reddit users were quick to assure the OP that they believed her instincts were correct in this situation and that she was right to refuse to let her fiancé take the cat.
“NTA [not the a------]. [It] isn’t humane or safe for the cats to live in a hoarder house,” wrote one commenter.
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Another person agreed, writing: “They are legally yours, the fiance's house is unfit, and your fiance isn't healthy or willing enough to see to the cat's [...] mental and emotional needs? The fiance shouldn't even want to bring an animal to such a woefully harmful environment. You keep both cats end of story.”
Others noted that moving into such a home might not be best for her fiancé either.
“NTA [...]. I think your partner having terrible mental health and moving into a hoarder house is already an awful idea, he's not going to get better by living in that. That's quite apart from everything with Mocha,” wrote a commenter before adding, “I 1000% think you're in the right here.”
Others said that the OP might want to think long and hard before committing to a life with her fiancé, noting that some of the behaviors she described seem like red flags.
“Your fiance's behaviour towards the cat, when it doesn't suit him, is [...] unacceptable,” wrote one person. They continued: “If he doesn't want to deal with a pet wanting food or wanting to play, then don't get a pet. It is unacceptable that he get frustrated, yells at the cat or "goes into meltdown" (whatever that means). It sounds like he is emotionally stunted and should be working on that.”
“Do you want kids in the future? Because your fiance is probably not the guy to do that with. Just something to think about,” the same commenter added.
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