This Woman Was Forced To Undergo Emergency Surgery For Her Ectopic Pregnancy, And It Caused A Rift With Her MAGA-Voting Mom
With Donald Trump's inauguration around the corner, the country — and families — are more divided over politics than ever. Recently, this woman underwent emergency surgery for her ectopic pregnancy, and it caused a major rift with her Trump-voting mom.
Here's the full story in user aloneandscaredd's own words: "Important info: my parents and I (only child) live in a state with very restrictive reproductive health laws."
"In summer of '23 I (30, female) came off birth control because of some pretty bad side effects. My spouse (33, male) and I were always ambivalent about kids. We figured if it happened it happened and if not parenthood just wasn't meant for us."
"Fast forward to the holidays of '23. While visiting my in-laws out of state, I was rushed to the ER, bleeding out internally with what turned out to be a ruptured ectopic pregnancy."
"I underwent emergency surgery, where they stopped the bleeding, but I did lose my right fallopian tube."
"After this I went back on birth control and had my doc do a full workup before my spouse and I decided next steps. The workup revealed a large (benign) tumor on my remaining tube as well as significant uterine fibroids. I was told that any pregnancy I had would be high risk and that carrying to term was not as likely but also not impossible."
"Given the diagnosis and that my state has now cause the need for a legal team's input for providing emergency abortions in the case of a mother's health being in jeopardy, I decided to move forward with removal of my uterus and remaining tube instead of risk death a second time."
"The surgery occurred the day after the election and I am recovering well physically. Still working on the emotional side."
"My mom (who really fell down the MAGA pipeline in the last two years) called me a few days ago for our monthly catch-up. I had not told her (or anyone besides my best friend and spouse) about the procedure because I wanted to come to terms with my decision before having to explain it to others."
"She went off on a long rant about how the new government would be great for families for when she becomes a grandma and that a national abortion ban would save so many lives of unborn babies. I completely lost it and screamed at her that she would never become a grandma, and it's because of how she and those like her voted. I told her I had to have everything removed so I couldn't become pregnant and actually die this time. I hung up after that and had a breakdown."
"My dad (who is not MAGA) called me a few days ago to let me know he was sorry that I had to make this decision, that he hoped I healed, but that I couldn't talk to my mom like that, and I need to apologize."
"Personally, I don't want to apologize for what I said. I will apologize for how I said it, but I really don't think I'm that much of an asshole at the end of the day. So, am I the asshole?"
"While your delivery was harsh, your feelings are valid, especially given the personal stakes involved with your health and the decisions you had to make," user bubblegumglee wrote.
"It's understandable to feel hurt when someone whose views directly impacted your situation dismisses the seriousness of what you've gone through. That said, an apology for the tone, not the sentiment, seems like a good step to take in order to heal your relationship with your mom. It's possible to set boundaries and express how you feel without completely cutting ties. But you're not an asshole for being upset with her views and how they affected you."
One woman shared a similar story of having to undergo a D&C procedure and not wanting to tell her Trump-supporting mom the news.
"I just had a D&C 3 hours ago. I still haven't told my mom I was pregnant or that I had to get my baby vacuumed out of me. And I decided after her MAGA Trump spewing BS last week I will not be telling her until I decide otherwise for my mental state. I was going to tell my mother at Thanksgiving and have my sister's kids do a cute 'We're gonna be big cousins' and show her the sonograms. But now I have no baby, and I have no respect or reason to tell my mom squat diddly shit. My life was at risk. I could have died if I didn't remove my baby from my body. And my mom doesn't care about the death toll of other women; why the fuck would she care about mine even if I'm her eldest daughter. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. And tell your father it's your MAGA mother who should be apologizing and ashamed. Not you. No way in hell should it be you," Ok-Ordinary-9912 said.
Another user shared a story about the pain of having parents who voted against his pregnant wife's ability to be alive after she underwent a procedure to save her life and lost her pregnancy in the process.
"My wife had placenta percreta that, in the end, required a hysterectomy. Long story short, we moved across the country just as we learned she was pregnant. She had complications, and the 'religious' hospital that we went to totally ignored (lied) about how serious it was. We had to travel back to our original home state to receive the care we needed. Unfortunately, lost the pregnancy and the ability to have additional children. And yes, we have those same parents who voted against her right to be here today. We hardly talk to one and do not talk to another. Even when your daughter-in-law goes through something this scary, they can't change their beliefs. As much as it may hurt, those types of people will never understand it. MOVE ON; you will be better off in the long run. Your sanity is more important than her hate!" AccordingCard9290 wrote.
However, not everyone agreed. "Your mum's vote did not cause your medical issues, and your decision was made before she voted. Her not finding out about your surgery until you screamed at her that she would never be a grandmother is quite cruel," user HeadWatercress7243 wrote.
"The US just seems too fucked up right now, and allowing politics to destroy families and relationships."
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