Woman Says She Asks Partner to Help with Chores at Her Place Instead of ‘Gaming on the Couch All Day’: 'He Got Angry'

In a Reddit post, the woman said "things blew up" after a particularly long day of work

A woman recently wrote online that she was concerned she may have gone too far after asking her partner to help out with chores at her place, even though he didn't live there. But many Reddit users felt otherwise.

In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?," an anonymous 41-year-old woman wrote that she and her 36-year-old male partner had a “pretty drama-free” relationship “for over a year."

"We mostly hang out here because I have to be there for the kiddo and because he has roommates, and I don't," she wrote. "To be clear, I love having him around."

But things got complicated once the issue of doing chores arose.

The woman said that for the last 6 months, her partner had “been spending roughly 6 out of 7 days” at her place, which she shares with the 6-year-old son from a previous relationship.

A few months in, the woman said she asked her partner “to start helping with the household chores” that he either “contributes to” or “benefits from.” Ultimately, she claimed her partner was only asked to help with the garbage and her car, as well as some “occasional deep cleaning.”

And while her partner “agreed initially” to her request, but requested that she “ask him directly."

“I've even started making lists,” she wrote. “However, he often forgets or puts them off for so long that I end up doing them myself.”

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Recently, the Redditor said “things blew up” between the, after she took issue with how much time he spent on gaming while she was struggling to keep up with chores.

"His argument for not doing chores is that he also has to maintain his apartment and also is making a sacrifice by not being at his place where he can pursue his hobbies," she explained. “So, his contribution, in effect, is that he is here.”

But one day, after a "hard day at work," the woman said that "things blew up."

"I found it really frustrating that I was struggling to get the laundry and cooking done in between juggling the kid and work and he was gaming on the couch all day," she wrote, sharing that while he is working, he's in the "process of changing jobs."

"He got angry when I brought it up," she added, admitted that she "could have been a little less snarky."

Eventually, the Redditor suggested they they "go back to dating so that we can each have our own space and he can pursue his hobbies at his place." But he then “he got really angry” and accused her of attempting to end the relationship.

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Commenters overwhelmingly agreed that the woman was not in the wrong, and took issue with her partner’s actions and rhetoric.

One user suggested that her partner has “essentially closed off any prospect of a mature resolution” with his response to her requests.

“When someone refuses to change habits that upset or stress you, and the only solution they'll entertain is the one where you shut the f—k up,” the commenter wrote, adding, “that's generally what's going to end up happening, if you stay together. You deserve better!”

Others advised the Redditor that their partner’s habits may not change. “This is a preview of the coming attractions if you all move in together,” read one reply.

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Another person shared a similar comment, “You just [got] a close up view of what life will be like if you lived with him. And it ain’t pretty."

The Redditor was also encouraged to consider what is best for her future. “It's super unlikely that he will change at this point in his life,” read one commenter. “Dating is for finding out whether you are compatible. You aren't.”

Added another, “Is this the kind of relationship you want? Another kid?”

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