"I Wish I Could Do It All Over Again": Older Adults Are Sharing The Experiences They Didn't Realize They Took For Granted Until It Was Too Late
As we age, it's common to reflect on the past. And, sometimes, it isn't until you're older that you realize all the things you took for granted. Recently, I asked the older adults of the BuzzFeed Community to share what they had taken for granted the most when they were younger, and the responses were poignant:
1."I miss the feeling of having a superpower as a kid. Like, my daughter believed she was the fastest girl alive. She used to race my car to the bus stop in the mornings, and I'd always let her win. At the park, when my kids played tag with the other kids, she was so fast they stopped chasing her. I hate that she grew up and realized she wasn't the fastest. Life has a way of beating that feeling right out of you."
—Angela, 54
2."The way the smell of the air changes with each season. I thought that would last forever, but either the world has changed, or I have. Or maybe it's both."
—Anonymous
3."Going camping as a kid with my brother and parents. I loved it when I was younger, but then I became a know-it-all teen who would find reasons not to go. At 14, I started working full-time so that I could say I was working and going to school. I'm older now, and I know I can't sleep anymore in a tent, much less get in and out of one. I miss sitting around the campfire while my parents cooked. I didn't have to be a jerk and insist on bringing the mini-battery TV to watch basketball. I would do anything just to have my mom around again. She passed, and my dad has many health problems. I realize now that camping was all we could afford to do for fun."
"I envied my friends because they got to go to all these cool places on vacation. Well, fast-forward to when my brother and I went to college. We looked at the costs and total expenses needed, and Dad told us, 'I just need to know how much vacation time to cash out for it.' Then we realized why we never took big vacations: Dad wanted to get his PTO paid out so we didn’t have student loans. How many parents can say they sacrificed like that for their kids? Never taking vacations to only cash it out for their kids' college? Yeah, I took that for granted. And I feel like an ass now because of it."
4."Childhood was so easy: you were given the time and space to be yourself and explore the world around you. We all took those freedoms for granted. I wish today for more time with people. The screens that are now between us did not exist, and the first point of contact used to always be a real person. I miss that."
—Lisa, 66, New York
5."I wish I'd traveled with my parents to their favorite childhood places. Like, knowing where they went to school and more about their early life and what it was like being Black in the '20s."
—Shar, Nevada
6."I'm about 72 now. I wish I could go back and raise my two kids all over again. I would keep my temper and be a bit more patient — the heck with the housework. I wish I could hug my kids when they were little all over again. In spite of me, they turned out wonderful."
—Anonymous
7."Optimism. The feeling that I could do anything in the world that I wanted to. Every option seemed attainable; daydreaming about the life I would have one day was so fun! I'd do anything to go back to my childhood and relive those days."
8."Recovery time. When I was young and had a hard workout, a long run, or a minor injury, I was back to baseline the next day. Now, I feel the effects of strenuous exercise for days, and injuries stick around."
—Rob, 56, Pennsylvania
9."Spontaneity. Fewer people meant fewer crowds and fewer restrictions. On a Friday, you could decide to go camping over the weekend and just go. Now, you have to plan months in advance to secure permits, campsites, and more. And it's not just camping — it's with almost everything: travel, dining, getting event tickets, and even shopping. You always have to plan ahead now."
—Anonymous
10."I wish I had more photos, let alone good ones. I wish I'd had more pictures of my rooms and places I went."
11."That my family would always be there. As the eldest, I expected to die first. Instead, I lost my son to an undiagnosed illness while still in my 50s. Nothing in life is assured, and expectations can be blown up in an instant."
12."On a local level, I felt safer. Being out and about and outside was easier because I didn't have the privilege or burden of a cellphone. I felt much less decision fatigue and was less aware of things like climate change, which I didn't know about, and therefore, couldn't worry about."
—JC, 67
13."The ability to focus and multitask. I used to be able to juggle 8–12 projects at a time. I could put one down and pick another up that I hadn't worked on in weeks and know exactly where I was, the next steps, who I might be waiting on, and all the deadlines. All of it. Now, I have to use every bit of concentration just to make a grocery list."
14."I spent so much of my teens and 20s worrying about how my body looked in a swimsuit. Looking back at old photos, I wish I could tell that lil' hottie to love herself and flaunt those curves."
—Becky, 50, Wisconsin
15."At 15, I got my first actual paycheck job (instead of babysitting). That was the last summer I chose to go on vacation with my family. I wish I would've focused on quality time instead of money."
—Heddy, 51, Florida
16."My health — particularly, my dental health."
—Rickey, 62, North Carolina
17."My mom. I would call her for advice on everything and anything. She's been gone for 13 years, and I still think, 'Mom would know what to do' whenever I have a problem."
18."Time. I wasted SO MUCH time when I was younger. I acted like I had an infinite supply of it. I could have gone to college and gotten a degree; I could have taken better care of my body by exercising; I could have spent more time with my brother, who died at the young age of 38. I definitely took time for granted."
—Candi, Oklahoma
19."Having good skin. I suffer from chronic eczema and always wish I'd taken better care of my skin when I was younger and not been a cheapskate when it came to products."
—Anonymous
20."I miss the fact that all of our neighbors were 'pseudo parents.' If one of us kids got hurt, the first parent to notice cared for us until Mom and Dad could be found. If we were hungry or thirsty, a parent on the block would bring cookies and juice. Likewise, if a parent yelled, 'Get out of the street!' every kid got back on the sidewalk. It didn't matter whose parent said it because we'd all listen."
—Anonymous
21."Spending time with my grandparents and other older relatives. I wish I'd spent more time asking them about their memories, experiences, and older relatives they knew, but I never met. My great-uncle, for instance, spent a lot of time with his grandfather, who fought for the Union in the Civil War. I'd love to know more about him."
—Anne, 61
22.Lastly: "I took looking at the moon for granted. I had no idea that by the time I was 40, my eyesight would start to get blurry, and things would have aural rings around them (light reflected in the dark). It's not a big deal, but had I known, I might have appreciated the moon more when I was younger."
BRB, gonna stare at the moon in childlike wonder and try not to cry about the things I just read. If you're an older adult, what are some things you didn't appreciate enough when you were younger? What are some things you took for granted? Let me know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your story using this form.
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
