The window seat passenger controls the window shade. End of story. | Cruising Altitude

Whenever I’m not in a window seat, I feel like I am sitting in a cave. When I’m in the window, the shade is open if I’m awake and the sun isn’t directly in my eyes. But my fellow passengers don’t always seem to feel the same sense of awe for the miracle of flight when they’re traveling.

Lane Terrell, a multimillion-mile frequent flyer, said he’s noticed the same thing I have.

“Ever since I was a boy, I wanted to sit by the window and look out,” he told me. “I don’t read on a plane, I don’t watch movies, I don’t typically do any of that stuff. I sit by the window and look out.”

But, he said, planes are increasingly dark places much of the time.

“To me, it’s like everybody just wants to sit in their living room with their devices,” he said. “Everybody’s just so attached to their devices, they want the shades down so they can see the screens better.”

That’s what it comes down to: If you sit in the window seat, you get to pick how bright your row is (with a few caveats). These are my official rulings on where things stand.

Window shade etiquette

It’s simple: the person closest to the window in every row gets to control the shade.

“I was sitting in business class on American and the guy reaches around, behind his seat and slams down my window shade,” Terrell told me about a recent flight. “I put it right back up and I think maybe he got the word.”

Don’t be that guy.

But also, don’t be a jerk if someone else in your row has a real reason for wanting the shade in a different position.

Rich Henderson, a flight attendant at a major U.S. airline and one of the authors of the Two Guys on a Plane blog, told me the window seat sitter should be open to requests.

“I’ve always been a firm believer that the person sitting in the window has control of the window shade. They’re allowed to put it up and down whenever they want,” he said. “If there’s a kid sitting on the aisle or something and they want to look out the window. I think it falls in the hands of the person sitting in the window seat, they paid extra most likely, on most airlines, to get that seat.”

Henderson said he still has some unofficial qualifications for the dominance of the window seat person, however.

On overnight flights, or very early morning ones, he said it’s just the right thing to do to keep your window shade closed so everyone else can sleep. You shouldn’t be the only row on the whole plane with the shade open.

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I’m not sure if I totally agree with the morning flights, but I certainly do when it comes to overnight ones.

Henderson also said you should choose a shade position and stick to it. It’s more annoying for everyone if you can’t make up your mind about keeping it open or closed.

Window shade safety

As with almost everything in aviation, there’s a safety component to window shades, too.

It’s less common on American carriers, but many international airlines require passengers to keep their shades open during taxi, takeoff and landing – the most dangerous phases of every flight.

“It’s for safety reasons so that if something is coming, we know what’s coming,” Henderson said. “It helps heighten awareness on the plane ... I feel like there’s been a few instances and aviation incidents where someone’s been looking out a window and they’ve seen ice on the wing and notified a crew and we avoided disaster.”

I also have been told that keeping the shades open could help your eyes adjust to the outside light conditions, so if you have to evacuate you won’t be blinded by the sun coming out of a dark cabin into daylight.

Just be nice when you’re flying

Henderson said experiences like Terrell’s, where a passenger reaches into someone else’s space to control their shade, exemplify how crazy people have gotten on planes.

“The window shade thing highlights the interesting dynamic of personal space versus shared space on the airplane,” he said. “Just being aware of what you’re doing and how that impacts other people. Work together, communicate with the people around you to make these situations work.”

The importance of situational awareness extends to other parts of the travel experience, too.

“Boarding is always a thing. Just the lack of awareness that people have with their backpacks hitting people going down the aisle or they’re putting their stuff in the overhead,” Henderson said.

Similarly, he said, using the seat in front of you for full-body leverage to get up to use the bathroom isn’t particularly courteous, either.

“Just be aware of how you’re taking up space,” Henderson said.

Zach Wichter is a travel reporter for USA TODAY based in New York. You can reach him at zwichter@usatoday.com.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Cruising Altitude's (un)official airplane window shade rules