Wife Asked Her Husband to Stop Calling off Work - Then He ‘Blew Up’: ‘He Wishes Someone Would Just Pay Him to Live'
The wife wrote on Reddit that her husband became angry when she confronted him about his lack of work ethic
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Upset woman, stock imageA wife had a heated argument with her husband over his lack of commitment to his job.
On Sunday, Jan. 19, the 27-year-old woman shared concerns about her husband in a post on Reddit’s Marriage forum, writing under the username Necessarylemonade. She explained that her husband, 25, got a job at a local game store in June after eight months of being unemployed having quit his previous job due to anxiety.
She revealed they’ve been married almost four years and recently he’s been “calling off” a lot since his job doesn’t require him to work a fixed amount of hours.
“I’ve been saying something about it every day because he knows he doesn’t need to be missing work,” the Redditor wrote. “I worry he will just quit without finding another job because he did that last time & it led to the MOST exhausting 8 months of my life working 70 hours a week 2 jobs just so we could barely scrape by."
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Couple arguing, stock image“I’m just so worried that this will keep happening over and over again and nothing will change,” she added.
The wife described herself as the “breadwinner” in their relationship as she works 50 hours a week and earns around $4,000 a month.
However, they’ve only recently recovered from the financial turmoil they experienced when her husband was last out of work as it came around the time they bought a house.
“We want to save to have a family soon but the only way we can do that is with IVF,” the Redditor continued. “I have issues that make it impossible to have children naturally so I know we will have to shell out $25,000+ for even one chance.
“I’ve been waiting years to finally get to a place to do it and now that we’re close — it feels like our future is being ripped away because he doesn’t want to work.”
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Her husband got “upset” and accused her of not being “understanding and encouraging” when she told him that she didn’t want to wait for him to figure himself out.
The wife said he refuses to listen to any of her suggestions for other jobs and seems to have “no motivation to build a life” together.
“He said he wishes someone would just pay him to live,” the Redditor wrote. “I tell him no one has their dream job and that’s not what’s important — having a good personal life and having a job to afford the things you want is why most people have jobs.”
“He tells me I make our marriage feel conditional and transactional,” she continued. “He’s great at helping around the house and cooking. I need to know: is my perspective off? Is my husband's? Both of us?”
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Couple arguing, stock imageThe comment section was flooded with responses from people describing the husband as “lazy,” while urging the wife to leave him and not have children together.
“Do not have kids with this man,” one person wrote. “It will only exacerbate your problems 100 fold. Divorce is not the worst thing. Being stuck with someone without the same goals is worse. Having kids with that person is hell on earth.”
Another revealed they had a similar experience with an ex-partner, saying, “Working 3 jobs, 7 days a week, just over 100 hours a week. The entire time we were together he never stayed at a job more than six months.
“He just ‘couldn’t figure out what he wanted to do,’” they continued. "Don’t have children with this person. You already have a giant one to support. Is he planning on staying home to raise the kids? Would you even trust him to? Leave. They do not change. They do not grow up.”
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Other commenters suggested the pair try marriage counseling or that the husband should go to school to pursue a subject that he’s passionate about.
“There’s no mystery here,” another person argued. “He’s shown you who he is. He isn’t husband or father material. He has no motivation or reason to change.
“Move on while you’re still young! Give your love/time/attention/devotion to someone who’s willing to give those things to you,” they added.
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