'Why the Pippa bum barrage needs to stop'

If you were too busy concentrating on the country-wide riots and global stock market crash taking place this week, you may have missed out on one of the most gripping and provocative pieces of television mastery that aired in the States: ‘Crazy About Pippa’.

Yes, people are still going nutty over that Middleton sister with the great tan and to-die-for bum.

But wait, what’s this? Some 'experts' are claiming the firm, round backside that we’ve all been drooling over for the past four months may not actually be real.

Where you get your ‘expert’ degree in bum-ology, I don’t know. But whoever these experts are, they spoke quite confidently about Pippa’s backside fakery.

[See also: Gallery: Kate Middleton makes Vanity Fair best dressed list]

They claim that if you look back at pictures of Pippa in jeans, you can tell that her bottom is quite (brace yourself) flat! And that it seems that she may have had some prosthetic help filling out that white form fitting dress way back in April. Yes, they believe Pippa Middleton had ass padding.

Stop the press. This is all just too much.

Let’s set aside the fact that none of these experts, nor anyone involved in the entire documentary, has ever met Pippa.

The main issue is how anyone could claim, and then proclaim loudly, to know so much about the validity of someone else’s bum? How many hours did they spend combing through back catalogues of photos and microscopically analysing every detail of her posterior until their ‘eureka moment’ dawned upon them?

Quickly, they rushed to the nearest TLC TV studio to declare Pippa Middleton’s posterior forgery to the world - so we could all sleep soundly, knowing that the woman named most eligible by society magazine actually has nothing more than a rather ordinary bottom.

Thank you TLC and the bumsperts whose hard hitting investigative work has forever changed the way I look at people’s asses. I will never trust a full, pert and round bottom for as long as I live.

Check out a clip from the show below:

You can watch the whole series here.

So is Pippa’s bum the real deal? Or does TLC need to rethink its programming schedule?

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