Why many bisexual people don't "just come out"
Coming out is a very personal thing, and should only ever be done by the person, if they want to. Considering LGBTQ+ people still face a shocking rate of hate crime, it doesn't take a rocket sciencist to figure out why not every LGBTQ+ person is 'out'. Recent research by Stonewall showed 42% of uni students hide their sexuality because they're afraid of being discriminated against.
It's no wonder then, that many bisexual people aren't out. Especially when there are still so many misconceptions and so much stigma around bisexuality - sometimes even from within the LGBTQ+ community.
So to answer anyone's moronic question of why bisexuals don't "just come out", people took to Reddit to explain why.
1. "I don't want to be stigmatised"
"I honestly don't feel like some people deserve to know. Even some of my friends are LGBTQ+ or supportive of the community, but because they treat me somewhat as an outcast and kinda make me feel inferior, I don't feel entitled to tell them. Also I don't want to be stigmatised as a 'creepy bi person'." [via]
2. "It's seen as taboo"
"Opening yourself and making yourself completely emotionally vulnerable is always a scary thing. Sharing your true self is hard, even with people you love. And that's even before you touch the taboos of society." [via]
3. "I fear people won't believe me"
"Mostly, I'm afraid it will be awkward and ultimately useless, since I'm planning on marrying my first and only partner. And even though my friends and family are very pro LGBTQ+, I have this weird fear that they won't believe me. I think that fear is due to my own lack of belief in myself, so I'm working on that first. I came out to my boyfriend and I don't feel a need to come out to anyone else (at least for the time being), so I figure I'm fine where I'm at." [via]
4. "Some people think bi doesn't exist"
"For me it's because while I haven't told a lot of people, I did tell some family once and they still don't really 'believe' that I'm bi. If I'm with a girl, I'm a lesbian, they're fine with that. If I'm with a guy, I'm straight, they're fine with that. It's mostly harmless, but my family still picks on me a lot for 'not being able to make up my mind'. To them I'm flip-flopping, bi just doesn't exist. It's made me a bit too embarrassed to come out to other people, for fear of being told I'm fake. And I can live my life just fine without everyone knowing, without having to hear their 'opinions' on the matter." [via]
5. "It's too awkward"
"I feel that doing a 'formal' coming out talk is just too awkward. I figured it'd be easier to tell them if I ever have a serious same-gender relationship, you know? I mean, it'd be awkward too, but that sort of on purpose awkward. Kinda like, 'Hey mum, I'm dating someone. It's a girl. Yeah, I like women too. K?!'" [via]
6. "Everyone has opinions"
"You can rarely tell how cool someone is with the queer community. There are some people I used to think were progressive. You can be totally blindsided by their opinion unless you know for sure that they're queer themselves, or a straight ally." [via]
7. "Straight people don't have to come out"
"Do you normally talk about who you have heterosexual sex with? Why should having sex with people of the same sex be any different? I'm proud to be bi, but I don't feel the need to wear my identity on my sleeve. Just because I have sex with men doesn't mean it's anybody's business, any more than the fact I have sex with a woman. That said, the biggest prompt would be if I were actually dating someone in a serious relationship of the same sex." [via]
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