Why can't Brazilians take their eyes off you?
The body beautiful – it’s supposed to be a Brazilian speciality. The ease of motion, the perfect tan, the walk with a samba sway. Plus the clothes, the hair, the amount of effort that goes in to looking effortlessly gorgeous.
Perhaps that why Brazilians seem so interested in other people’s bodies and faces. Saunter along the coastal prom in Rio in your usual English style – the girl from Ipswich rather than Ipanema – and soon you’ll see the glad, or bad, or mad, eye.
You might think someone is after something. Or trying to tell you something. The contact can be laser like, followed by the scan – of your shoes, your skirt, your shirt. You are invited to respond in kind, though the looker might well only be wearing a thong.
But it’s completely normal. It might mean someone has noticed you’re foreign, or unfamiliar. It might mean they think you’re attractive. It might mean they like your clothes, or dislike them. It might mean nothing of the sort. They’re just looking – really, really looking.
Such eye contact can seem intense, but it’s actually common across many cultures outside northern Europe. Matthew Arnold berated the English for their lack of curiosity in the Victorian era. Perhaps it’s our typically hunched, somewhat vague, noncommittal postures and wandering gaze that are actually a sign of rudeness and/or lack of interest?
When it comes to a face-to-face conversation, eyes play a key role in commerce as well as social circles. In the UK, US and in many European countries, it’s okay to glance at someone you are chatting to – it tells them you’re interested, awake, still there. But in Brazil, eye contact can be locked during quite such conversations. The cessation of staring may well signify the end of the conversation – this can have implications in business and romance.
When someone raises a glass, it’s especially important to make eye contact; to do otherwise is to withhold your feeling for the special moment – rather like saying “Cheers, to your health-ish!”
Across Latin America, the body is used as a tactile tool. Most people generally stand close to one another in queues at the bank, on buses, in quarrels. Argentines, in particular, like to touch and feel. It’s common to see overgrown teen daughters sitting on their father’s knee at a dinner. Mums and grown-up sons will lose themselves in extended hugs, when the latter is making a major journey – such as going to play football for a couple of hours in the park.
The other side of this is the body as weapon. Notice how Argentine footballers respond when reprimanded by a referee? The thumb, forefinger, middle and third fingertips are crossed to emphasises the “Me? Really?” message. The chest comes out to almost touch the man in black’s own chest – Maradona, with his barrel chest, specialised in this, but it’s a national posture intended to communicate incredulity and utter innocence.
Mexican men often linger over a handshake, even giving it a masonic-style twist, by letting a hand roam in order to touch another man’s forearm or elbow. They may even touch the lapel of his suit. This is friendliness, a softening of the work chat, a moment of intimacy in a society that is governed by macho rules. Colombians do the forearm but not the elbow or lapel. It might be best to aim low if you aren’t sure. Grabbing a lapel could have all kinds of consequences in, say, a football stadium.
Chileans, Uruguayans and Argentines often hug and kiss on the cheek on meeting, whatever their gender. It’s an expression of trust and endearment. But the gesture doesn’t translate easily into some of the northern countries, where indigenous mores still pertain; even a hug in the rural corners of the Altiplano in Bolivia or Peru would be seen as too forward, especially between strangers.
At the other extreme, attend a business meeting in Buenos Aires and it’s not unusual for everyone to kiss everyone else as they arrive – possibly late – for the event. If there are 20 delegates, that’s a lot of kissing. It’s all part of the non-verbal warming up; an Anglo-Saxon insistence on getting immediately stuck into the nitty gritty of a deal or discussion is unlikely to win friends.
The Spanish language varies across Latin America but if there’s one word that’s used in all countries it’s “psssst!”
Sounding very rude and annoying to Western ears, it might be a summons to “please buy something” or “lend/give me a few cents” or “come and look at this”. It’s not uncommon to be hissed at from across the street or even when you’re busy doing something else, like talking to your friend or sitting down for dinner. It’s not rude – well, it is, but it’s probably best to pretend it’s not, and just ignore it.
For all the subtleties and nuances, Latin America is not an unfriendly place to travel. Generally local people have more time to shoot the breeze than they do elsewhere, and also know that foreigners – especially pink, fair ones – might be a bit shy or unused to kissing, touching, staring and lapel-stroking. Above all, they have an awareness that you’re there, and that you are body as well as mind – that has to be a good thing.
