What's it like to parent a convicted murderer? Mother of cop killer Louis de Zoya reveals all
Elizabeth de Zoysa, mother of convicted murderer Louis de Zoysa, has opened up about the devastating impact the incident and its aftermath has had on her as a parent.
Louis de Zoysa is serving a ‘whole life’ sentence for shooting Metropolitan Police Sergeant Matt Ratana in Croydon Custody Suite in 2020. Firing a gun four times, one of the bullets entered de Zoysa's own neck, causing a stroke.
In a new true-crime podcast series, Mums of Murderers, created by Best and whose first episode aired yesterday, Elizabeth described the moment she first heard about the shooting and her immediate instinct to judge herself and question whether she was to blame. 'I was in absolute shock. One of the first thoughts in my head was, "How can I have given birth to a child like this, and is there something in me that put him on this path?” As a mum, I’m thinking, "Could I have done things better?"
She wanted to highlight that, while the episode in no way justified the murder or invalidated its impact on the victim's family, Louis' actions had shattering consequences for those closest to him, too. 'These things don’t happen in a vacuum. All offenders have families. I wouldn’t have abandoned him as a baby and I wouldn’t do that now.'
Having the police bang on her door unexpectedly was an inordinate shock, as was their harsh treatment towards her. 'It was like someone was trying to break the door down. I opened it and was pushed back by an officer. He pinned me against the wall and handcuffed me behind my back.'
Disbelief and distress, naturally, overwhelmed her when she found out why they were there. 'All I could think was, "What has Louis got himself into?" This was just unbelievable. How in the world had he been allowed to get a gun into a custody suite? I shouted at them, "You’ve failed my son." I just curled over and wanted to hide.'
She also discussed the pain of seeing Louis' in a video recorded by his lawyer. 'He’s had a massive brain injury, he was in a coma for so long. He had a stroke. A lot of his memory has gone. We found out later he had a 1% chance of surviving.' She didn't consider him fit to plead - legally able to participate and understand his own trial - but believed he should be in hospital: 'From my experience, he isn’t coping (in prison).'
It was therefore critical for her to be at the trial. 'I wanted to support Louis, because he needed a familiar face, and with his brain injury, he has a very limited understanding of what had happened and the consequences for the victim’s family.'
As well as processing her own emotions, she had to navigate tricky reactions from those around her. 'Some friends didn’t know how to approach me. Some blamed me...some were very supportive.'
Mums of Murderers is hosted by Nick Ferrari and explores the emotional weight carried by four mothers of sons or daughters serving life sentences. Episodes are released on Best's YouTube channel.
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