Do you want to drink less alcohol? Here's how to be 'sober curious'
Doing Dry January? Or just reassessing your relationship with alcohol? You may be sober curious. It doesn't necessarily mean giving up booze altogether or signing up to sobriety indefinitely. Rather, it involves considering drinking less - and in some cases, not at all - and deciding to fit alcohol into your life more thoughtfully instead of mindlessly participating in drinking culture out of habit. With a search volume of over 1.3k per month, it's definitely a movement that's gaining in popularity.
Millie Gooch, founder of Sober Girl Society and campaigner for the positive effects reducing alcohol consumption can have on your mental and physical health and relationships, tells us all about this term, sober curious benefits, and how to try out being sober curious for yourself.
Meet the expert: Millie Gooch is the founder of Sober Girl Society and author of Booze Less: Rethinking Drinking for the Sober & Curious - A Guided Journal (Chronicle Books, £12.99)
What does sober curious mean?
There’s often some confusion around this term, with many assuming it means exploring the idea of being fully sober. But that’s not what Ruby Warrington, author of Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Deep Connection, and Limitless Presence Awaiting Us All On The Other Side of Alcohol (HarperOne, £9.25) originally intended. Her concept of being sober curious is more about approaching alcohol with intention and mindfulness. It’s not about banning booze forever; it’s about pausing to ask yourself, 'Do I really want this drink, or do I just feel like I should?'
Being sober curious means questioning your relationship with alcohol, without any pressure to commit to full-time sobriety. It’s an exploration: discovering how life might feel with less alcohol or even none at all.
What are the rules of being sober curious?
Generally, people who try out being sober curious may choose to:
1. Reduce alcohol intake
They'll cut out alcohol to some degree, either partially or completely. They may also try out low- or non-alcohol options.
2. Practise mindful consumption
Sober curious people pay attention to how alcohol affects them physically and mentally. They drink deliberately, with more awareness and consideration, prioritising quality over quantity.
3. Increase their focus on health and wellbeing generally
They may have become sober curious through a desire to improve their overall health, so they may try to get better quality sleep, increase their fitness or take up new hobbies and activities that don't centre around alcohol.
8 ways to be sober curious
1. Start small
You don’t have to quit drinking entirely. Start with something manageable, like one alcohol-free weekend or a dry month, and see how it feels.
2. Track your drinking
Invest in a jigger or a wine measure to keep track of your pours. Sticking to the recommended 14 units per week can help you maintain balance while staying mindful.
3. Buy smaller bottles
Mini wines or spirits are great for portion control. It’s much easier to stop after one glass when you’re not staring at an open bottle.
4. Find alternatives you love
Experiment with no- and low-alcohol drinks until you find options that genuinely excite you. From botanical spirits to craft alcohol-free beers, the choices are endless.
5. Notice the patterns
Reflect on when and why you drink. Is it out of habit, stress, or social pressure? Understanding your triggers makes it easier to decide when you genuinely want a drink and when you don’t.
6. Create new habits
If you often drink out of routine (like pouring a glass of wine after work), try swapping it for a different ritual, like making an alcohol-free cocktail or brewing a special tea.
7. Redefine socialising
Suggest activities where alcohol isn’t the main event – like coffee dates, yoga classes, or evening walks.
8. Stay curious
Keep asking yourself, 'Do I really want this drink? How does it make me feel?' Remember, the goal isn’t restriction, it’s exploration.
Benefits of being sober curious
1. Mental health
For me, the biggest game-changer was my mental health. Without alcohol, I felt less anxious and more in control of my emotions. Initially, it did get worse, however. I was often left anxious, stressed, insecure and overwhelmed because I'd been suppressing my feelings with booze.
I am more resilient as I drank to get through periods of stress, heartbreak or sadness, which meant I tried to avoid them – and you can never avoid them really! Without alcohol, I actually have to face those things so I feel stronger in myself to be able to deal with them if they arise again.
I'm also more confident. The confidence alcohol gives you isn't really real. When you stop drinking, you have to face tough and scary situations without alcohol and that helped me grown an innate confidence that's stayed with me.
2. Physical health
There’s also the physical side: better sleep and waking up without that 'Why did I send that text?' shame spiral.
3. Improved relationships
I have better conversations. I used to think my deep, drunken conversations connected me to people but often it was me just waffling on, not absorbing what whoever was sat opposite me was actually saying. Now I'm definitely more attentive and conversations are more interesting. I think I am able to connect more to the discussion and the person I'm talking to.
4. More time
Another unexpected bonus was time. Cutting back on alcohol freed up my weekends – no more days lost to hangovers or sluggishness. I started spending that time doing things that actually made me feel good, like morning walks, paddle-boarding, or trying out new hobbies.
5. More money
Let’s not forget the money. Drinks add up fast – especially when you’re treating yourself to that 'just one more' cocktail. Suddenly, I had extra cash for the things that genuinely made me happy, like trips, self-care splurges, or even just saving for something special.
I realised I didn’t need alcohol to feel fun, confident, or relaxed. Those feelings are within us already, we just have to give ourselves the chance to tap into them.
How to socialise when you're sober curious
1. Reframe social events
Shift the focus from what’s in your glass to the connections you’re making. Socialising is about people, not the drinks.
2. Bring your own drinks
Stock up on non-alcoholic options you love, like alcohol-free beers, kombucha, or fancy mocktails. Having something in your hand helps you feel part of the vibe.
3. Suggest different activities
Plan meetups that don’t revolve around alcohol, like brunches, hikes, board game nights, or a cosy coffee catch-up.
4. Set boundaries beforehand
Decide ahead of time what you’re comfortable with. Maybe it’s sticking to non-alcoholic options all night or leaving early if the atmosphere gets too boozy.
5. Practise your response
If someone asks why you’re not drinking, keep it light and simple. 'I’m just taking a break', or, 'I’m trying something different' usually does the trick without inviting further questions.
6. Focus on conversation
Dive into meaningful chats or funny stories. When you’re fully present, you’ll find these moments feel richer and more memorable than when you’re drinking.
7. Go straight to the bar
As soon as you arrive, grab a drink (alcohol-free, of course) so you’re not lingering and overthinking. This helps you settle in before any anxiety creeps up.
8. Always have a drink in hand
Holding a drink – whether it’s sparkling water, a soda, or a mocktail – makes it less likely anyone will ask why you’re not drinking.
9. Practise drink refusal skills
Rehearse your response for when someone offers you a drink. Something simple like, 'I’m good, thanks,' or, 'I’ve got one already,' makes it feel natural when the moment comes.
10. Celebrate your choice
Socialising sober might feel different at first but remember why you’re doing this. You’ll wake up feeling refreshed, clear-headed, and proud of yourself.
Why are Gen Z sober curious?
Sober curiosity is growing in popularity among millennials and Gen Z, with research from the National Institute on Drug Abuse showing that lifetime drinking, and past month and year drinking among young people, has been on the decline since 2000.
According to Drink Aware's 2019 study on drinking behaviours in the UK, 16-25-year-olds were the most likely to be teetotal, with 26% refraining from drinking. Experts have pointed to a few reasons as to why this is.
1. Gen Z are risk averse
Growing up in more economic and financial uncertainty, Gen Z are more cautious. Research from Montclair State University reveals that this generation perceives risk 'everywhere they turn', seeing more danger in life through social media, mass shootings and the climate crisis. This cautious attitude spills over to alcohol use. '[The decrease in alcohol consumption is] certainly not happening because of alcohol policy, because all risky practices are going down – drug use, unprotected sex, risky behaviours [like smoking, crime and driving hazardously] – young people are more risk averse in general,' Amy Pennay, a senior research fellow at the Centre for Alcohol Policy Research at La Trobe University, Melbourne, said to the BBC.
2. Gen Z are health conscious
Young people are generally be more health conscious and aware of alcohol's detrimental effects. A report from The Linus Group found that over 70% of Gen Z describe themselves as healthy, using exercise and habits like meditation to stay well.
Instead of alcohol, a Mintel report revealed that a quarter of Gen Z looked to low-to-no-alcohol alternatives because they have a lower calorie content and more impressive nutritional profile, with added vitamins and minerals and reduced sugar quantities.
3. They prioritise mental health
A more open dialogue surrounding mental health means Gen Z are also increasingly aware of alcohol's tendency to impair emotional regulation and lower mood.
The same Mintel survey explained that two-thirds of consumers aged 18-24 reported worrying about the emotional impact of alcohol, while a similar figure reported that they wanted to learn more about drinking mindfully. This attitude means Gen Z are reducing their alcohol intake as a way to manage their emotional wellbeing, and may look at alcohol as an impediment to a robust mental framework. Social media platforms like TikTok have also helped users to broadcast the benefits of a sober or sober curious lifestyle.
Is being sober curious a feminist issue?
Initially, I thought giving up alcohol was betraying feminism. The freedom to drink pints, do shots, and be a 'loud-mouthed mess' was an act of rebellion and defiance; a declaration that I wasn't afraid to take up space. When I quit, I worried that I'd confirm every stereotype about women being too uptight, too worried about being out of control and un-ladylike.
However, drinking felt like liberation, but it often left me trapped. Waking up with a raging hangover, cringing at texts or apologising for things I didn't remember wasn't empowering; it was confirmation that I was using alcohol as a crutch to manage insecurity and discomfort. It took a toll on my mental health, self-esteem and relationships.
Alcohol is detrimental for women's health
Alcohol is also more harmful for women. Research shows that women tend to have lower levels of alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), the enzyme responsible for metabolising alcohol in the stomach. This leads to higher concentration of alcohol entering the bloodstream, so women are more susceptible to its effects. Another study found that women have higher blood ethanol concentrations than men and are more likely to suffer alcohol-related liver diseases. Susan G. Komen also finds that alcohol consumption has been linked to an increased risk of breast cancer, as it can raise oestrogen levels and contribute to hormone-sensitive cancers.
Alcohol intensifies violence against women
Alcohol is also a significant factor in domestic violence and disproportionately impacts women in the form of harassment, assault and unsafe environments. The BBC found that men dependent on alcohol or drugs were six to seven times more likely to be involved in domestic abuse against women, while studies show that alcohol is used in 50%-72% of campus sexual assaults and that approximately half of the sexual assault instances suffered by 25% of American women involved alcohol consumption by the victim, perpetrator, or both.
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