‘I’ve Wanted a Vasectomy Since My Teens’: Why Gen Z Are Forgoing Fatherhood
Fatherhood has never really been something I’ve wanted, and from the age of around 17 or 18, I’ve been certain that I don’t want children.
It was around that age that I began to consider getting a vasectomy. It was something of a pipe dream at first – people I know who’ve had the procedure have all been over 30 and already had children. But, as time has passed and I’ve become more certain that I don’t want kids, I’ve been weighing it up more seriously. I know I’m not alone in that. More than a third of teenagers say they don’t want children, according to research from University College London, while researchers in the US found that more young men are getting vasectomies. A quick TikTok search reveals myriad young men who are considering or have had the procedure, too.
Personally, I’d rather have a relatively simple surgery than have my girlfriend use contraception (with all the side effects it could bring for her) for the next 20 or 30 years, or have to rely on condoms. The growing threat to women’s reproductive rights is in the back of my mind, too, particularly since the repeal of Roe v Wade in the US. I know getting a vasectomy comes with its own set of risks, but they’re far outweighed by the benefits.
In the past, I’ve often been told by relatives that I’ll change my mind, or that I’d make a good dad. I do think that in some ways I would – but then I wouldn’t want to pass on my depression or anxiety to my children. I can also be guilty of being a workaholic, and while I try to keep to consistent hours and avoid working evenings and weekends, it’s nice to have the option. I’m lucky that my partner doesn’t want children. We’ve never sat down and had a formal conversation, but then we haven’t really needed to; both of us made it very clear from early on in our relationship that we didn’t want to be parents. We both like spending our time and money on ourselves and having the freedom to do what we want when we want. You can’t do that with kids.
My parents had me at 25, the age I am now. In a way, I feel bad because I know how much they’d love grandchildren. But, ultimately, that’s not a good enough reason to have kids. My parents appreciate that and respect my decision.
When I speak to other people – like friends – who don’t have such a vested interest in me having children, they’re understanding of my decision and viewpoint. In fact, a number of my friends have shared sentiments similar to my own – voicing concerns about passing on health conditions, not being financially secure enough, the environment or simply not having the desire to become a parent.
Unless the situation changes for young people, I think it will become increasingly common to decide against becoming a parent. How often do you see people having children because it’s just what you do, without really stopping to think about it? More people are questioning the narrative that’s fed to us from childhood and realising we really do have the freedom to make our own choices.
I totally understand why people might want children – and I certainly don’t hate kids. But parenting is definitely not for me. Getting a cat on the other hand? That’s more my style.
The Expert View
Consultant urological surgeon Jeremy Crew specialises in vasectomy reversal
How is a vasectomy performed and is it for life?
The procedure is the most effective method of male sterilisation and should be considered permanent. It usually takes about 20 to 30 minutes to complete and is uncomfortable but tolerable. Following the procedure under local anaesthetic, you should take it easy for about 48 hours.
How long does it take for a vasectomy to take effect and what’s the success rate?
After a vasectomy, you’ll be asked to provide a semen sample at three to four months. If no sperm are present, you can assume that you’re sterile. If there are still high numbers of sperm, you’ll need a repeat operation. The incidence of this is around 1%. But even after a successful vasectomy, there remains a risk of becoming fertile again – the chance of pregnancy being one in 2,000.
Can you reverse a vasectomy and how successful is it?
Vasectomy reversal is a bigger operation than a vasectomy and is usually performed under general anaesthetic. Following vasectomy reversal, the success of getting sperm in the semen is about 50% to 90%, and successful pregnancy occurs in about 20% to 50% of cases.
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