Forget going halves this Valentine's Day: Couples should be splitting the bill 34:66
Forget what to wear: Who will pay is something many of us consider ahead of a Valentine's Day dinner date.
Historically, men have footed the bill on the most romantic day of the year - but stats prove they aren't necessarily all that happy to do so.
Recent research by OpenTable found that one in three men weren't planning on paying for dinner on Valentine's Day, with 20% saying that tradition is somewhat "outdated".
But for the 37% of young couples and 17% of the older generation who opt to go dutch, splitting the bill equally may not actually be all that fair either.
In fact a recent study, by Credit Karma, has found that women should only be picking up 34% of the bill, to take into account average earnings, amount spent on getting ready, and the proportion of food and drink they consume compared to men.
Turns out when you take into account the national gender pay gap and the costs associated with being a woman, female singles should only be paying just over a third of the bill this Valentine’s Day.
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While the average date sets couples back £53, women tend to spend more in preparation, feeling greater pressure to invest in their appearance, and often have to spend on transport to stay safe on their way to and from a night out, than men do.
These costs, in addition to the UK’s gender pay gap, and the disparity in the typical amount of food and drink consumed by men and women, indicate that women who go halves on the bill may be overpaying.
On a typical date, one in five (18%) men admit to eating more than their half of the shared food and drink.
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It seems, however, that long-held stereotypes are somewhat harder to overcome with the research revealing that men are more likely to self-impose these gendered expectations.
A greater number of men believe that the man should always cover the full cost of dinner and drinks on a date in order to be chivalrous.
However nearly half (42%) of women are in favour of splitting the bill with their dates.
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Most men (58%) opt to just cover the entire bill “to avoid the an uncomfortable conversation”, but for 37% of women this can lead to even greater awkwardness and discomfort with the situation.
Meanwhile, same-sex couples can be equally blighted with bill-paying angst, finding it awkward when conversations about who should pay arise.
Commenting on the findings Akansha Nath, Head of Partnerships at Credit Karma says: “Women are financially at a disadvantage in so many ways, whether it’s the amount they earn, the credit rating they’re able to build, or the amount they’re expected to spend on their physical appearance.
"While it may not be practical in reality to pay for 34% of a meal out, looking at the realities of dating for women reflects some of the unfairness that surrounds gender and money, and will hopefully prompt a few important conversations over dinner tables this Valentine’s Day.”
In order to side-step some of the tab-splitting awkwardness Professor Shireen Kanji, gender equality specialist at Brunel University, who consulted on the research, is encouraging couples to have open and honest conversations about money to break "a long standing taboo".
Credit Karma has also formulated a Bill Splitting Calculator that could help divvy up costs more fairly.
"It can facilitate daters discussing what they consider constitutes fairness within relationships and to think about how their individual situations relate to social norms and ways of organising," Dr Kanji explains.
"This makes for an intimate and more interesting conversation this Valentine’s Day.”
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The findings echo previous research, revealing a difference between men and women in terms of their bill-splitting opinions.
While women are keen to establish equality on the dating scene, men still hold on to more old-fashioned values, a survey of more than 2,000 adults by dating site Match.com has found.
On a first date, two thirds of women (66%) expect the bill to be split equally, and in a bid to eradicate outdated gender roles, one in five women (22%) would never let someone pay for them on a date.
However, male attitudes were much more traditional. Only one fifth of men (20%) think a bill should be split equally on a first date. Moreover, just over half think they should pick up the full bill, and only 4% of men think a woman should pay on a date.
To navigate these contradictory preferences, Match’s dating expert Hayley Quinn believes that compromise is important.
“If your date insists on paying on the first date and you’d have rather split the bill, then offer to pay the next time. The important thing is the way it is handled and if your date shows you respect in the process.”
