Trans man donates his eggs so his sister can have a baby
A trans man has revealed that donating his eggs so his sister can start a family was the "easiest decision" he's ever made, despite worrying it would make him feel "less of a man".
Kenny Ethan Jones, 30, an author and activist, from Kilburn, London, has harvested 13 of his eggs so far and is donating them to his sister, Kizzy, 39, who has been struggling to get pregnant for six years.
He originally wanted to undergo the procedure – in which the patient takes medication and has surgery to retrieve their eggs – after transitioning "years ago".
But he is living with gender dysphoria – a sense of unease that someone may have with their gender –and at the time it was so severe, he decided he needed to prioritise his mental health.
In 2019, after a long conversation with Kizzy about her fertility, he offered to donate his eggs to her.
"This decision felt so easy," Kenny explains. "It felt so right in my heart.
“I did it for Kizzy. I think what brings us closer is we have the same mum, who passed away a few years ago.
“She’s done so much to take care of me, and I thought, 'If I can give her this, I will.'”
Speaking about her brother's decision to donate his eggs to her, Kizzy, an entertainer, from London says: "The issue for me is due to the age of my eggs and, as an older woman, the chances of miscarriage are higher.
"Kenny knew that and he knows the miscarriages I've had and how awful they've been.
"Being the lovely brother he is, he offered to donate his eggs."
Kizzy says at first she didn't think her brother was serious.
"I started looking into IVF for myself," she continues. "I was shocked at the low chances of having a successful pregnancy.
"As I was doing all these IVF appointments, I was speaking to my brother about it all and he says to me, 'Seriously sis, I'll do this for you.'
"I don't think he realised just how small the chances of me conceiving through the IVF were, which kicked him into gear.
"He was like, 'Let's do this.'"
Kizzy has been trying for a baby as a "single mum-to-be" since 2018.
Though she hasn’t been formally diagnosed with any fertility issues, she has never been able to carry a baby to term.
In 2019, she had a “traumatising” miscarriage, during which she had to give birth to the baby.
Kenny says he has spent “hours” on the phone consoling his sister.
"I was asking her how I can help,” he continues.
"Then one day, a jokey conversation turned serious.
“I said, 'You can have my eggs if you want?’
“I wasn’t even sure if it was a possibility as trans healthcare is so understudied.
“So we both did our own research, and we found some trans men who’d had their eggs harvested.”
Within weeks, Kenny had contacted the NHS to find out if it was possible for him to have the egg retrieval procedure.
The process of accepting Kenny’s request was delayed by four years due to Covid, and he was placed on a waiting list and received a phone call last November asking when he wanted to start.
Kenny knew he’d have to take steps to protect his mental health throughout the process.
At his first appointment, he was referred to a therapist who talked him through each step.
On learning he’d need an internal scan, using a monitor probe that inserts inside the vagina, he worried about feeling intense gender dysphoria.
“The therapist suggested not having an internal scan every time, because they can just do the ultrasound on your tummy," he says.
“I was worried about it, but I’m at a point where I’m so confident about my body, I could face it.
“But I was worried people would be sat staring at me in the waiting room or that the procedure would affect my testosterone levels.
“My doctor had looked after trans patients before, so he was really great.”
Kenny was told by doctors that the procedure was time-sensitive, so he spent 10 days before the procedure taking four medications a day, injecting two into his stomach and taking two orally.
On the final day, he had to take a “trigger” medication in the form of a nasal spray, which stops the ovaries from releasing eggs for a short time.
On May 8, 2024, Kenny had the operation and was told surgeons had retrieved 19 eggs in total, freezing 11 and leaving the other eight to "mature" overnight.
They were then able to take another two eggs from the matured set, collecting 13 altogether.
"I was very aware that this is a gift I could give to my sister here and now, and that’s not going to last forever," he says.
"I let my friends know I may need to vent, cry and get upset, because I may get triggered.
"But I never once had a funny look from anyone. Doctors really put effort into my care plan as a trans man."
Kizzy has an appointment next week at the same hospital Kenny had his retrieval.
The eggs will need to be screened, which will take three months, but Kizzy is keen to start her fertility journey as soon as possible.
"We're very close siblings and I think it's amazing he's giving me this opportunity," she says.
"I know people might think I'm 'having my brother's baby' but to me there's nothing strange about it."
Egg donation to family and friends
According to the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA), patients are allowed to harvest their eggs specifically for donation.
However the HFEA says there are restrictions on donating eggs to close family members and patients are advised to consult with their clinic first.
These restrictions do not differ from clinic to clinic as they apply to all clinics.
It is possible for someone to donate to female relatives but if they’re donating to a woman they know and only want her to receive their eggs, then this will need to be stated by the patient in a consent form.
For more information about egg donation visit Donating your eggs | HFEA.
Some information about consenting to treatment and storage can be found here: Consent to treatment and storage | HFEA.
Read more about fertility
How does the IVF process work and who is eligible? (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
Couple welcome baby after only retrieving one egg during IVF (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
Couple raise £8k in four weeks to pay for IVF baby after 12 years of infertility (Yahoo Life UK, 3-min read)
