Here are the top 5 tips to help you come out to your best friends
Congrats on this exciting step of your journey!
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Coming out is no easy task, no matter where you may be in life. For many people gay and queer people, coming out to close friends is an easier first step before sitting down with family or parents.
If you spend more time with friends than family as well, then it feels a bit easier to to let your besties know how you're feeling. Especially if you're in school, college, or living somewhere far from family, then you likely surround yourself with friends more than anyone.
With today being National Coming Out Day, scroll below to see the top five tips to help you as you open up to your friends and begin this exciting journey.
1. Take a deep breath. You're just starting this process, so you don't need all the answers.
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Coming out can be a very scary and stressful process, so first and foremost, take a second to relax.
Also, give yourself some credit. As you progress in your journey, you'll be able to look back on this moment and feel so proud on how far you've come!
Sharing your thoughts with other people is a very brave and courageous step, so please remember that you've come a long way to even get to this point.
It's important to keep in mind that sexuality is a spectrum. If you're still unsure how you identify, that's perfectly normal! You don't need to know exactly who you are at any age. We're always evolving and growing, so if you don't even feel comfortable putting a label on yourself, you don't have to.
If you're ready to come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or anything in between, that's amazing! But, if you just feel "different" and you're not exactly sure how you identify, that's beautiful too.
Take your time, but just know that nobody is expecting you to have all of the answers. News flash: nobody knows what they're really doing in their everyday lives the majority of the time, so you shouldn't expect to be any different. You got this!
2. Have the conversation at a time and place you feel safe.
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The time has arrived! You're ready to come out.
You've probably thought about this moment so many times in your head, so make sure you find the proper place to have this conversation.
For me, I took my bestie to a gay bar and it made me feel way comfortable to come out to her. Others like to come out at home, at a brunch spot, or even a music festival. Wherever you feel safest is the best place to have this moment.
Also, allocate a decent amount of time to have this talk. Sometimes coming out conversations can be quick, but others may be longer as they can often be serious. So don't try and rush through this moment by squeezing it into a busy schedule. Take your time with it.
3. Be patient.
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Coming out is different for everyone and each experience is unique, so be patient.
Some people's best friends simply respond with, "I already knew this. I love you babe!" However, other friends may be very surprised and might not take the news very well. No matter what the reaction may be, just be patient with your friends.
You may not realize it, but coming out does change the trajectory of your friendships forever. You're going to finally start living in your truth, which means your life and relationships will change. Certain besties will support you no matter what, while others may start to distance themselves and they won't necessarily fit in your next chapter.
Be patient and pay attention to see who's truly there for you and who wants to celebrate this milestone moment. If some people in your life aren't that excited for you, then proceed with caution.
It's definitely possible that some of your friends may be shocked at first, but come around later. Others may never come around. It truly just depends on what they're willing to experience with you.
No matter what happens, you'll be just fine. If some friends don't want to stick around, that's their loss, not yours. They likely weren't meant to be your best friend if they can't accept you for who you are. However, be patient. Other friends may come around after they digest this news.
4. Come out over time.
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As mother RuPaul says, this is the beginning of the rest of your life! Congratulations!
It's important to remember that your entire life is a journey and coming out is just part of the amazing process. If you come out as gay today, that doesn't mean you have to be gay the rest of your life! You may come out again or simply start identifying with another sexuality down the road.
Once you experience the world as an out and proud queer person, your interests and identity will evolve as well. The best piece of advice I can give is to enjoy it. If you find comfort in just one label your whole life, that's awesome. If you decide to change things up, that's totally cool as well.
5. Love yourself!
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If you take anything away from this article, then let it please be this. Love yourself babe!
You are beautiful just the way you are. This is a very exciting process, even though it can be so scary at times.
You've found the courage to do your research and figure out if this is the right thing for you to do. That already says a lot about you!
No matter how your friends react, just know that you're special. I genuinely hope you have friends who support you when you come out, but if you don't... you will be just fine.
Also, the best part of coming out is meeting people who are just like you. I've met the most beautiful people in my entire life ever since I came out. My closest friends are my queer peers who I've met all around the world at Pride festivals, LGBTQ+ events, and gay bars.
Finally, there's a reason gay people have "chosen family." Your friends are there to uplift you when the whole world seems to be crumbling around you. It's vital to have people in your life that love you for who you are. Just be careful, be open-minded, and above all else... love yourself and take care of yourself. I'm rooting for you!
