1) Dropping a contact lens on the floor means GAME OVER
Putting in or taking out lenses is a tense experience. We learned the hard way that we shouldn’t do it over plugless sinks (RIP, left lens from the first week of July) but we occasionally still manage to drop ‘em in places we shouldn’t. Y’know… the cat litter tray… down our own t-shirts… into the toilet…
2) Sometimes it’s really hard to get out of bed in the morning
Purely because WE CAN’T SEE. Is it time to get up? Is it sunny? Where are our glasses? Who even knows. We can’t comprehend the joy of waking up to a non-blurry room at 7am on a Monday morning - we reckon that when stuff looks fuzzy, it’s just that bit easier to stay in dreamland.
3) You can never find the right material to clean your glasses with
“Ooh, this towel might work!” you think to yourself. But you soon learn it won’t - it has tiny pieces of fluff all over it, which have now transferred to your glasses. T-shirts are normally a no-go, and don’t even THINK about using your denim jacket. Just stick with that nice little bit of cloth that came with your glasses case.
4) You sort of exaggerate your ailment from time to time
If you ever meet someone else who wears contact lenses, you normally find a ‘casual’ way to ask them what their prescription is at some stage during the conversation. Oh, only a minus 3? Pssh. Do they even NEED glasses? You continue to tell them about your minus 8.5s (which are actually minus 7s, but you’re pretty sure you need a test soon) and how tough stuff is for you as Someone Who Really Cannot See Very Well.
5) Half the time you forget how long you’ve been using the same pair of lenses for
Has it been a week? A day? Maybe it’s been two months and you need to go to the eye hospital immediately. WHY CAN’T YOU REMEMBER? You make a mental note to write it down on the calendar next time you open a new pair, but you never actually do. A+ for scattiness, C- for eye health.
6) You have to choose between lenses and long nails
You tried having the best of both worlds a few times but ended up scratching your cornea twice a day and felt it wasn’t quite worth it. It’s a sad state of affairs, but you’ve come to the conclusion that manicures and you are just not supposed to be friends.
7) Showers aren’t fun
If you ever leave your lenses in, you’re terrified that a bit of grotty water will get stuck behind them and cause you to go blind (you’ve heard the horror stories and you’re not taking the risk). But if you opt for your glasses they steam up instantly, which means you knock over the shampoo twelve times in two minutes and end up with a patchy leg because you can’t see the massive bits you’ve missed while shaving. TOP.
8) You feel really resentful that your glasses make your eyes look smaller
Oh, to be a long-sighted lady, whose specs magnify her peepers and make her look like an anime character. Please don’t judge us short-sighted people for our lil shrew eyes and weirdly-shaped heads. IT’S THE GLASSES, OKAY?
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