Teachers Are Sharing What Boomer Parents "Did Right" That Millennial Parents Have Kind Of Forgotten About, And It's A Whirlwind
Teachers have been around the block. Many of them have talked openly online about things like all the differences they've noticed in kids in 2024 vs. when they started teaching, and are no strangers to the fact that millennial parenting has its downs as well as its ups.
Millennials, I love you — but I will say that the strengths and weaknesses of one generation aren't the same as the next. And let's be real: Yes, gentle parenting is great, but the overdependence on iPads is not.
Teachers have unique insights on parenting, children, and behavioral changes that pull from a broader timespan than most people are exposed to. So, I decided to ask them about some of the things they think boomer parents got right that millennials have kind of forgotten about — and boy, did their answers range:
1."Millennial teacher and child of boomers here: letting your kids be bored."
"Boomers didn't care about keeping kids frequently entertained, so we organically hung out with each other, explored interests, and had to think of things to do. Now, students expect teachers to be responsible for and facilitate their constant enjoyment. They act out more when having the smallest increments of stillness, because they don't know what to do with themselves."
—Anonymous
2."Discipline. Millennial parents feel like they aren't 'allowed' [to discipline their child], and too many of them want to act like their child's friend rather than their parent."
3."At a recent parent-teacher conference discussing the ways a middle schooler could improve his grades, the parent asked, 'Why are you picking on my child? Mediocrity is just fine.'"
"While a shocking statement, it came to define the change in attitude we've started to experience — demand for A's but without the effort.
Kids’ brains have been altered by screen use. They want education to be like that environment while the state demands have grown tougher. The two don’t match up, putting teachers in an impossible situation."
4."The biggest difference I see is that boomer parents were very invested in their children's achievements, to the point that I think kids didn't always feel loved if they weren't the best."
"Millennial students demonstrated no concern for the less fortunate or important social issues of the day. Gen Z overall are much kinder and more conscientious about their community. Their parents are more likely to ask about whether they are generally good people, and are less concerned with their GPA."
5."I think one huge change is the idea of happiness as a constant right."
"I believe millennials genuinely feel that teaching their child they should always be happy, live their passion, and have all things good is great (gentle) parenting, and that they are the first generation to be kind. It isn't kind, though.
Choosing your own book is beautiful and fun. Learning to read that book might be hard. Counting money you've earned is fun. Learning to count, add, subtract might be hard. Children cannot always be happy, as so much of our character development comes from our challenges. Also, our pride in ourselves comes from challenges. These children are an odd mix of arrogant, entitled, bored, and insecure that is new and concerning. Parenting isn't 'my child owns the world, day, teacher, friends and is in control of everything.' Parenting is teaching, 'when you do have challenges, obligations, frustrations — how do you persevere?'"
6."Parents don’t trust their kids’ teachers. My parents were both boomers and educators. If something was going on, they trusted the adults — but took stock of our side too. There was never a he-said-she-said thing."
"As an educator myself, I see a completely different side of your child than you. They may be perfect angels at home, but the academic world can be frustrating. A gap in understanding of the material can lead to a learning deficit and manifest itself in many ways. If I call home to express concern, I have good reasons.
Trust your kids’ teachers. We are the experts both in content and learning techniques. We wouldn’t be here if we hated any kid. We care and want the best for your kid."
—Anonymous
7."Screen time has led to a lack of knowing how to communicate face-to-face."
"When I first started teaching about 16 years ago, if I left the classroom for a short while (to get a resource or do some photocopies or whatever), the kids/teens in class would immediately start talking to each other, gossiping, etc. (I didn't mind, but requested they did it in English as I am an EFL teacher).
But now I leave a class, and immediately, phones or tablets are whipped out for social media or playing games. No one says a word. It's a little scary how much control a screen seems to have over someone nowadays."
8."Reading. I had books all over my house, and my own library card at age five. I teach students who don't even know where the local library is and have rarely been to the one at school. Instead, their moms are trying to ban books."
"It's horrific. In addition, they have no reading stamina (more than a paragraph is 'boring'), never mind reading comprehension skills.
Also, respect and desire for education. I grew up poor and knew that my way out was going to be through hard work and education. I teach students who honestly believe they'll be millionaires by posting videos of their snacks and makeup trends. They have no desire to learn because they see no value in it. They refuse to study because it's a waste of time; they aren't going to college. It makes me very sad for them."
—Anonymous
9."First grade teacher here. Kids these days get bored so easily, and they're not afraid to say it."
Paramount Pictures
"I have so many students who say, 'This is boring.' I never said that, even when I was bored. I knew that school couldn't always be fun. Kids these days are so used to being entertained that they get bored so quickly and can't stand it.
Also, the number of kids who talk back to teachers or tell them no. When I give instructions like take out your pencil or put your crayons away, it's not a discussion. It's not time to do what you want, but simply a direction you need to follow to be able to learn."
10."Boomers would have kids do things for themselves/let them struggle a bit. Too many parents swoop in to figure it out for their kid at the slightest hint the kid needs help."
"For example, I’ve seen parents take scissors out of their first grader’s hand and cut the paper for them. Your child will have to struggle with scissors a bit to figure out how to use them, and that’s okay."
11."Often, millennial parents forget that teenagers lie. The number of times I have made phone calls to parents and heard, 'My child would never do that,' or, 'I spoke with them, and they said you are mistaken...'"
"When I tell you I saw them cheating or picking on another student and you defend your child because they claimed they didn’t do it, maybe trust the adult in the room."
—Anonymous
12."Reading and critical thinking. I teach college students, and the great majority have never read a book that wasn't assigned for school. Most take everything online at face value without any critical thinking or critical reading skills."
"AI is only making it worse. A corporation is feeding them information, and they accept all of it without question.
It also affects historical and scientific literacy. It's scary how much these students are willing to not think just because thinking is hard or (god forbid) they might be wrong about something.
Alongside this, millennial parents try to email, call, and write me notes. No. College students are considered adults. I'm not legally allowed to talk to your mommy about your grades, nor do I have any desire to do so."
—Anonymous
13."During COVID, I had parents doing their child's homework or diagnostic tests for them. Now, a lot of students get frustrated and give up any time something is even remotely difficult. Or they get frustrated when they don't win something because their parents most likely always let them win."
14."I've been teaching 31 years. I currently teach special education in the first and second grades. I am amazed at the number of students who have never been read to by their parents. We often get children who have never held a book."
"Boomers read to their kids. It doesn’t appear to be a priority anymore."
"That's wild. I have read my 2-year-old two books already this morning and it's not even 9 a.m. We will probably read another five before bedtime and then he will try to make me read at least three before he is willing to go to sleep. I know The Very Hungry Caterpillar by heart now."
15."Teaching kids independence."
—Anonymous
16."Telling kids no, when appropriate. It’s not toxic to tell a kid no when you’re teaching them to be safe, healthy, and kind to others."
"You can say no firmly without yelling or destroying your kid. So many kids have come through my classroom without ever hearing the word 'no' or being corrected in any way, and they absolutely lose their minds.
10-year-olds shouldn’t throw a tantrum on the floor because I told them not to use their phone (screen time is also an issue!) or because I asked them to stop running in the hallway."
—Anonymous
17."Holding kids accountable. I did a middle school lesson on plagiarism before assigning a significant project and explained that school policy is that it earns them a zero."
"I showed them how a zero kills their average. A kid plagiarized his project, so he earned a zero. Mom calls me several times begging me to reconsider because her child has had straight A's on every report card since kindergarten. What does that have to do with him plagiarizing?
I told her to be glad that he got caught in middle school so it doesn't go on his college applications, and hopefully, he learned his lesson so he doesn't show up on your doorstep after getting kicked out of a $30,000-a-year college. If I had done that, I would have prayed my parents never found out because if they did, I probably would still be grounded at age 70!"
—Anonymous
18."Teaching basic skills as an expectation before going into a classroom.
"Especially postpandemic children. We have children entering primary/ elementary school not potty trained and unable to put their coats on, amongst other basic classroom requirements.
COVID definitely stunted the development—particularly socially—of this generation, and it shows. That's not to say these children aren’t as kind, thoughtful, smart, and rewarding as any other generation! I think this generation of children and learners is as bright and has as much potential as any other—they are just suffering under unfortunate circumstances."
19."This obviously isn’t true of everyone, but as a generation, boomer parents believed in the value of reading. So many children today have educated parents who don’t read to them beyond the toddler years."
"Parents are scrolling their phones while kids are scrolling tablets. That loss of hours and hours of reading time has affected personal motivation, critical thinking, fine motor skills, and attention span as well as academics. Kids don’t have the mental skills they had 20 years ago but millennials are shoving a tablet in their kids’ faces every time they’re uncomfortable."
20."Millennial parents tend to over-function so their child will not experience frustration. They wanted help when they were growing up; they will make sure they help their children."
ABC
"Boomer parents did not manage or monitor a child’s frustration levels. They believed that hard work was good for them and did not try to reduce it to a more manageable level for them.
I think it’s a greater problem for the children of millennials who've grown up without knowing how to push themselves and who give up easily. Why? Because it’s addictive — when kids today give up, they pursue something that offers dopamine.
Yes, children of boomers needed to learn how to do self-care, how to recharge, and how to say no. Currently, children of millennials are not prepared to be adults and delay gratification."
—Anonymou
21.And finally: "Teachers can't tell when a student still sleeps with their parents at night, or if a student is a picky eater, or if they're not in a bunch of academics. We can't tell a lot of things that have become 'standards' for parents. We CAN tell when your child has a phone addiction."
"It's so clear to us in the way that your child can't articulate their words well, the way their emotions control them, the way they treat others, their motivation to learn or try new things, and their general success.
Yes, boomer parents didn't give their 5-year-olds phones because phones didn't exist yet. But please, please, please let your kids be kids!!!
Please hand them a book or toys or anything instead of a screen. If they are with you at the grocery store, include them in the shopping process. Little kids want nothing more than to feel capable and to make decisions, and it is so crucial that we let them do that! When you hand your kid a phone instead of engaging with them, they internalize that as 'I'm not enough to be played with.'
—Anonymous
If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them in the comments — especially if you're a parent, grandparent, or teacher. Or, if you want to comment and prefer to stay anonymous, you can check out this anonymous Google form! Who knows — your thoughts may be included in an upcoming BuzzFeed article.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
