Taylor Swift Seemingly Eviscerates Matty Healy on “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”
Hi there to everyone who thought The Tortured Poets Department was going to be about the end of Taylor Swift’s relationship with Joe Alwyn. Yeahhhhh, turns out, not so much. Based on first fan impressions, Tortured Poets largely chronicles Taylor Swift’s whirlwind relationship with none other than Matty Healy—who she dated after breaking up with Joe Alwyn in spring 2023.
And while Matty seems to be the subject of a *lot* of songs, we’re truly speechless at “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” Like, Taylor Alison Swift does! not! hold! back!
Some specific lyric moments that have us jaw-dropped?
Was any of it true?
Gazing at me starry-eyed
In your Jehovah’s Witness suit
Who the fuck was that guy?
You tried to buy some pills
From a friend of friends of mine
They just ghosted you
Now you know what it feels like
Oh and:
And I don’t even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
Plus:
And I’ll say, “Good riddance”
’Cause it wasn’t hot once it wasn’t forbidden
I would’ve died for your sins
Instead I just died inside
And you deserve prison, but you won’t get time
You’ll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars
You crashed my party and your rental car
You said normal girls were “boring”
But you were gone by the morning
You kicked out the stage lights, but you’re still performing
Meanwhile, fans are just like:
THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED LMAOAOAOOOOOOOO matty get off the floor omg pic.twitter.com/kYrBPq1Kc2
— clo (@lolwydchloe) April 19, 2024
me after listening to the smallest man who ever lived that was INSANE pic.twitter.com/tFdKtX6s5p
— nani (@iamhaunted13) April 19, 2024
If Taylor Swift ever wrote a song called The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived about me, I'd go into witness protection.
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) April 19, 2024
matty healy count your days (i just listened to the smallest man who ever lived)
— hailey (@okayhailey) April 19, 2024
Taylor Swift to Matty Healy in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived #TSTTPD pic.twitter.com/3eyxkwFzzX
— Makenzie Means (@makenzie_means) April 19, 2024
naming her song “the smallest man who ever lived” means taylor went for something really personal. matty healy’s height.
— 𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ mary 𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ (@onlittlelight) April 19, 2024
matty healy you are the smallest man who ever lived! pic.twitter.com/EJUkqHELZN
— brandy rose (@brandyadams_) April 19, 2024
Welp. Feel free to send those lyrics ^ to your ex without context!
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