'I spent £8k on reborn babies after tragic loss - I change their nappies just like real newborns'

Reborn babies are becoming increasingly popular among Brits, with some spending up to £20,000 on realistic dolls which they care for as if they were actual newborns. Here, OK! hears Sabrina Mckenna's story about purchasing incredibly lifelike dolls.

"Waking up in the morning, I head straight to my children’s room, open the blinds, say hello, and turn to the cot to kiss them on the top of their heads. I’ve got three babies, and I’m excitedly looking forward to the arrival of my fourth. I love them dearly and equally. However, they don’t reply with loving coos or giggles, as they’re reborn babies – hyper-realistic dolls fashioned to be as close to having a baby as possible.

I buy them clothes and presents, I read to them and get them dressed up. I even take them out in the pram to go shopping in my local town of Omagh in Northern Ireland. When I wheel them around, I feel like the mum I’ve always wanted to be. And when people peer into the pram and tell me how gorgeous my baby is, I thank them – feeling as proud as any mum when her baby is being complimented.

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Like many women, I turned to reborn babies after a devastating loss. In 2011 I found out I was pregnant with Jamie – a much-wanted baby. But at my 32-week scan, they found out he no longer had a heartbeat. I can never describe the agony of hearing those words. In June 2012, I went through an excruciating 12-hour labour and gave birth to my baby boy – he looked utterly perfect. But I never got to take him home or be his mum.

I had various types of counselling, but the grief was unbearable. My relationship broke down a year later. It was in 2014 that I discovered reborn babies on Facebook. I looked them up and couldn’t believe how lifelike they looked. In the depths of my grief I wanted to try anything and I bought my first reborn baby for £110 from a lady in Belfast. When she handed me my reborn baby in a blanket and I felt the weight of her, finally my empty arms had something to hold.

I couldn’t believe how lifelike she was and I fell in love. She gave me light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I called her Lily. She helped me enormously. I had a reason to go and buy the clothes I longed to be buying for my son, I bought a pram for her and wheeled her through the streets. I even changed her nappies.

Over the past 10 years, I’ve bought and sold around 15 dolls. It’s hard to explain why, other than I’ll see a new one and fall in love with the photograph and long to have that one – but I need to raise the money by selling an old one. Having said that, the three I’ve got now I can never imagine parting with.

Harper is a three-month-old, chunky girl, who I’ve had for nearly five years. She cost £350. Then I’ve got Esme. She’s a delicate newborn, who I’ve had for four years and cost £400, and Ezra, a boy who’s three months too, who I’ve had for two years, costing £430. And soon his twin sister will arrive I haven’t given her a name yet – I’ll wait to meet her before I decide. She cost £450.

They can cost as much as £20,000 – those can have breathing machines, human hair and even give off a scent that mixes baby powder with detergent. But I could never afford that. I have to buy them with payment plans as I’m on benefits. But over the years I must have spent around £8,000 on the reborn babies and all the clothes, hats, shoes, blankets, the cot, presents and doing up the nursery.

I don’t have any other luxuries, I never have my nails or hair done. I don’t smoke or drink. And they help me so much mentally. Particularly when I suffered another devastating loss in 2017 when I was in another relationship and fell pregnant, losing my baby at six weeks.

I’m sure he was a boy too and I called him Logan. I’m single now and plan to stay that way – I couldn’t go through another pregnancy. I’m too scared to risk losing another baby.

I miss my lost babies every single day. And I love them more than words can express. But I love my reborn babies too. They’re my comfort for my lost boys. When I push my reborn babies around in their pram I feel like the mum I should be. I enjoy getting them dressed up, in matching clothes and shoes.

At Christmas I spend about £40 on each of them. I particularly like buying them little hats or blankets with their name on. When they’ve worn an outfit a few times, I donate it to a charity shop and buy something new.

I’ve already bought a gorgeous Bambi dress from Primark for my new baby and I’m looking for the perfect shoes to go with it. And though I know they don’t feel the cold, I’m buying them coats to wrap them up. During the day I might read to them, or just cuddle them or have them sit with me while I do some crafting. I used to work in a factory but I’m unemployed currently due to ill health, both mental and physical.

At night I change them into pyjamas and tuck them up before kissing them goodnight. I take it in turns to take them out with me when I go to the shops – it feels so natural to be pushing a pram.

I also take them on outings to the beach or the park. If I actually get chatting to someone then I’ll explain that they’re reborn babies. Most people are fascinated by it and understand when I explain the reasons. But online, it’s a different matter – I get trolled mercilessly and in the most disgusting way. The latest one was someone posting a skeleton to me for Halloween, saying it was Jamie coming back to me, as it’s well-known why I have my reborn. It’s horrendous. I’ve reported it to the police.

I can’t understand why anyone would want to bully a grieving woman. My friends and family understand – my mum even gives me money to buy them presents. It’s one of the reasons I’ll be glad if a celebrity like Katie Price does have reborns. Hopefully people will take the time to find out more about them and why they can be so helpful.

I’m not harming anyone so I will never understand why people are so vile about it."