Six easy ways to turn pessimism into optimism today
Some people are born optimists, remaining upbeat even when things aren’t going their way. We all have that super-positive, glass half-full friend, who sees difficulties as challenges and problems as opportunities. But if that doesn’t sound like you, you can blame it on our Neanderthal ancestors.
Scientists believe that we’re hardwired to be negative thinkers, because our survival once depended on it. Experts have dubbed this the ‘negativity bias’, and it’s stayed with us, even though the chances of being mauled by wild animals is long gone. In fact, in today’s far safer society, being a pessimist can actually shorten our lives.
Researchers who analysed over 70,000 people found that the most optimistic had a lifespan of up to 15% longer, and far greater odds of reaching 85 years old, compared to the negative thinkers. Other surveys found that optimists are more likely to vote, donate to charity and do volunteer work. So, it makes sense to try to look on the bright side – here’s some simple exercises that can help change your outlook and put a smile on your face. .
1 HOW TO FIND BALANCE
There are ‘positivity tools’ that you can use to help to train yourself into being a more optimistic person. Clinical psychologist Dr Roberta Babb advises on ‘engaging in three positive strokes for every negative stroke you give yourself.’ If you find yourself saying something like, ‘I’m no good at this’, you then must tell yourself at least three positive things to balance it out.
2 FOCUS ON THE NOW
When you want to banish self-criticism or worry, try this mindful exercise to help stop negative thoughts and keep you thinking positively. "The 5-4-3-2-1 method helps ground you when you’re experiencing a negativity spiral," says psychological therapist Kim Lyons. "You can take yourself away from it by naming five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste."
3 LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION
It’s important to spot negative thoughts as soon as they start creeping in. That way, it’s easier to nip them in the bud and stop them coming back. In their book, The Power Of Bad, psychologists Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney say, "By recognising the negativity effect and overriding our instinctive responses, we can break destructive patterns and think more effectively about the future."
The first step is to acknowledge negative thinking. Not everyone realises they’re doing it, so Dr Babb advises identifying your ‘thought traps’. Are you ignoring the positives, or catastrophising? Are you thinking in all-or-nothing terms? ‘The type of thought traps may vary depending on our mood and the particular situation that we’re in, but it’s helpful to identify what type of negative thinking you veer towards,’ she says.
4 PRACTICE BEING GRATEFUL
Keeping a gratitude journal has been linked to improving anxiety and depression, better physical health and higher long-term satisfaction with life. And it couldn’t be easier! All you have to do is jot down a few things each day that you’re grateful for, whether it’s that the sun is shining or you had a good night’s sleep. You can do this in a notepad or even on your phone. "Engaging in gratitude practices may help you restore your awareness of the positive events and experiences in your life," says Dr Babb.
5 LET IT GO
The more you try to block out negative thoughts, the harder it becomes. "If I said to you: 'Don’t think of a pink elephant', you’ll think of a pink elephant. It’s the same with this," says Lyons. "It’s just about not feeding into it. Instead, I tell patients to view their negative thoughts as leaves in a stream, clouds floating in the sky, or bubbles in a glass of Champagne. Allow them to come to the surface, then disappear."
6 PLAY THE NAME GAME
In order to take more control over a negative voice, give it a name, suggests Lyons. "If something has upset you and you keep going over it in your head, give this a label. It can be whatever label you want. Say you call it Pixie. When it pops up in your head, notice it for what it is ('oh right, it’s the Pixie story again'), and then move on." By giving a particular negative thought a name, you are keeping it at arm’s length and stopping it from eating away at you.
You Might Also Like
