How to read your partner's sex signals as Abbey Clancy shares PJs sign
Abbey Clancy has revealed the way husband Peter Crouch responds when they have an argument before lights out, by wearing his pyjamas to bed.
The model, 38, who has been married to the former footballer, 43, since 2011 reportedly admitted that he denies her the option of seeing his naked body when in a huff.
Speaking on their couple's Therapy Crouch Podcast the mum-of-four said: "If we go to bed not speaking, Pete puts pyjamas on."
But instead of annoying his other half, Clancy revealed that she's actually "delighted" with the addition of the loungewear.
"I'm like 'yes'. I actually call them 'the punishment pyjamas' because it’s like I’m not allowed to see his naked body as punishment. It’s so funny."
As well as putting the brakes on intimacy via some strategically placed pyjamas the couple also revealed that things get back on track when they make up, with Clancy sharing in a previous episode that she once wore nothing but a Burberry coat to pick him up from football training.
How to communicate intimacy signals with your partner
Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch aren't the only couple who likely use some kind of signal to indicate to their other half whether intimacy is or isn't on the cards.
"Everyone has different brakes (things that make them less likely to be in the mood/turned off/decrease desire for sex) and accelerators (things that help put them in the mood/ trigger desire/turn them on!)," explains Alice Child sexologist and sex and relationships expert at sexual wellness platform SheSpot.
The trouble is that while sometimes those brakes and accelerators can be more obvious, if they are more subtle they can get lost in translation, which means we don't always pick up on the cues our other half is trying to send.
"It’s a great idea for couples to talk openly about their brakes and accelerators so that when they want to initiate sex they know how to turn their partner on and put out the right signals that will actually work for them," she explains.
While a cheeky spontaneous butt squeeze in the kitchen may work for some people, it could be a huge turn off for others.
So how do you learn to read your partner's sex signals?
Child suggests trying to pick up on the mood and considering the factors surrounding the giving off of brakes or accelerators.
"Lots of people need the right context, headspace and stimulus to get in the mood for sex - so read signs for stress and avoid those," she suggests.
Also, consider the fact that your other half isn't a mind reader, so could easily miss the cues you're trying to convey.
"Thinking you know your partners 'sex signals' is potentially a path to misunderstanding, hurt feelings or even broken consent," she explains. "If in doubt - ask. Consent is sexy."
Child also points out that what you use to signify you are or aren't interested in intimacy could change over time.
"Non verbal signals can look different from one day to the next," she explains. And though they might include things like flirty eye contact, intimate touches, playfulness/flirting, using nicknames and other love languages/attempts to connect, they don't necessarily have to.
If you're looking to communicate more effectively with your partner in terms of wanting or not wanting to be intimate Child suggests removing the silence and learning how to be open and clear in your communication, both when you’re in the mood and when you’re not!
"Instead of putting on unsexy clothes as a 'signal', tell your partner how you’re feeling and what you want - cuddles and pizza on the sofa," she advises.
"It will be much simpler and more connective for both of you."
And of course not being in the mood for sex doesn’t mean you have to disconnect.
"Suggest other things that you ARE in the mood for to get your connection needs met in other ways," Child adds.
Sex and relationships: Read more
Romantic gestures and physical touch are best ways to initiate sex, study finds (Yahoo Life UK, 3-min read)
Sarah Ferguson says 'saucy underwear' is key to bringing spark back into relationship (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)
A quarter of Brits are having less sex than they used to. Here's how to boost your libido (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
