The Self-Care Ritual My Abuelita Taught Me Is My Key to Better Days
One of the things I remember best about summers spent at my abuelita’s home in Mexico is the aroma of coffee and sweet bread. When I’d visit growing up, she’d welcome her sisters and friends into her home with an elaborate display of panecitos (sweet bread) and café de olla (spiced coffee) on the stove. Some nights, she’d sit alone with a book, dipping a pastry into a cup of coffee, during which she’d ask not to be disturbed. If I was ever in a particularly brooding or crabby mood, she’d give me a slice. “Simmer down. Eat your pan, and let your worries melt away,” she’d say in Spanish.
Growing up, our family would visit one of the many panaderias (bakeries) in Houston each weekend. When mami invited my aunts and her girlfriends over, chisme, or gossip, always came with a side of café y pan. On family movie nights, it wasn’t just popcorn on the menu. I remember my parents offering the sweet and caffeinated combo as a nightcap after parties and carne asadas. Sleepovers with my cousins always involved a trip to the bakery and Nestle’s Abuelita Mexican-style hot chocolate to spare.
When I moved out on my own for college, I lost touch with many cultural traditions, several of which I’ve reconnected with as an adult. Cafecito y pan is my most sacred. I reintroduced the delicious duo into my life during a time when I was struggling with severe anxiety and depression. Over the past few years, it has become a powerful act of self-care I can turn to when I need a moment to breathe and reflect.
What Is “Cafecito y Pan?”
“Cafecito y pan” translates from Spanish to “coffee and bread,” but not just any bread — particularly pan dulce, or sweet bread. The beloved snack is a staple in Mexican culture that consists of traditional pastries (the most popular is concha, a round dessert topped with a sugary vanilla or chocolate crust) and a rich, aromatic cup of coffee (often prepared in a clay pot with cinnamon, star anise, and cloves), which people sometimes substitute with hot cocoa. In Mexico, people drink café at all hours of the day, not just in the mornings or for a caffeine boost.
The cultural combo transcends snack status. Cafecito y pan is a cherished tradition that embodies connection, community, warmth, mindfulness, and savoring life’s simple pleasures. It’s customary to welcome people into your home with a fresh selection of pastries and hot coffee. People tend to serve the duo on Christmas Eve, to cheer others up, or to relish in necessary moments of solitude.
If you want to replicate the tradition exactly, look up local panaderias in your area. Though there are so many ways to adapt it: You can also swap the sweet bread and coffee for a cup of tea and a buttery biscuit. If you’ve had a particularly hard day, pour a glass of wine and make a personal charcuterie spread. Like the Turkish, you can enjoy your dose of caffeine with some baklava, or you can do what the French do and have a goûter in the late afternoon.
Or, you can create your own special version. The key is carving out time for yourself and appreciating the moment. If you’d rather use this time to nurture your bonds with others, you can try the Norwegian ritual of kaffepause.
Why This Mexican Snacktime Is a Form of Self-Care
When I walk into a panaderia, the effect is instant: My soul and senses awaken, and the freshly baked aromas instantly recenter me. With tongs and tray in hand, I take my time choosing between hundreds of pastries on wall-to-wall shelves behind glass doors. If it’s going to be a particularly busy week, I stock up to hold myself accountable for breaks. A visit to the bakery is always in order when I feel anxious, sad, or disconnected from myself. Sometimes there is no reason other than treating myself.
The ritual of café y panecito invites me to slow down and have moments of pause that are difficult to come by in this fast-paced life. When I stop to literally smell the coffee, I tune in more closely with myself and my surroundings. As I focus on the decadent scent of coffee and the warmth of the bread, I become grounded and am reminded of the importance of nurturing my inner being. With slow bites and sips, I’m able to block out all the external noise, at whatever hour of the day I choose.
During this time, I reflect and have mental check-ins with myself. Sometimes I journal and get all my thoughts and emotions out on paper. Often, I just let myself be still, enjoying my own company in silence. My mind sometimes wanders freely, daydreaming, or coming across a solution or an idea. I use this downtime to catch up on reading, or with my long-distance best friend over the phone.
No matter how I spend this Mexican snacktime, it always allows me to be present in the moment. It’s a nourishing act of self-love that makes me feel warm and cared for. Out of all the mindfulness practices I implement, this one is the most grounding; it connects me to my roots and brings back comforting memories. Cafecito y pan provides me with a comforting sense of identity and belonging in a world that can often feel terrifying, lonely, and unpredictable. This Mexican ritual reminds that life isn’t just about going through the motions, but savoring the experience.
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