The secret sleep thief no one warned you about: Postpartum insomnia

Insomnia isn’t new for me. It hit me during my third trimester like an uninvited house guest—persistent, inconvenient, and completely impossible to evict.

I’d wake up at 2 a.m., stare at the ceiling for hours, and finally drift into the deepest, most delicious sleep—right as my alarm blared for work. It was brutal. The cycle was so relentless that I ended up finishing over 50 books that year because, let’s be real, I wasn’t about to get out of bed. Tea, honey, meditations—nothing worked.

But while those sleepless nights during the third trimester felt endless, I assumed they’d ease once my baby arrived. Spoiler alert: postpartum insomnia had other plans. And no, it’s not just about your baby crying every few hours (although that doesn’t help). If you’re lying awake long after you’ve finally settled your little one, staring at the ceiling and feeling like sleep is just out of reach, you’re not alone.

What Is postpartum insomnia?

Let’s set the stage: You’ve had a baby, you’re utterly exhausted, but every time you lay your head down, your brain goes into overdrive. You replay the day, worry about your baby’s breathing, or obsess over tomorrow’s to-do list. According to the Sleep Foundation, over two-thirds of new parents experience poor sleep quality in the six months after childbirth. For some, this morphs into full-blown insomnia—difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep even when your baby is out cold.

It’s not just sleepless nights. Postpartum insomnia feels like your body is playing a cruel joke: you’re exhausted, yet sleep feels like an elusive dream, always out of reach.

Related: 10 products that helped me with postpartum insomnia

Why does postpartum insomnia happen?

There’s no single culprit. Postpartum insomnia often stems from a mix of factors, including:

• Hormonal Chaos: After giving birth, progesterone and estrogen levels plummet. Progesterone, often called the “relaxation hormone,” helps you feel sleepy, while estrogen helps you fall asleep faster and wake up less during the night. When these hormones drop postpartum, it can leave you feeling wired and restless.

• Circadian Rhythm Mayhem: Newborns don’t distinguish between night and day, and this can wreak havoc on your internal clock. Late-night feedings, diaper changes, and lying awake listening for baby’s coos all disrupt your natural sleep cycles.

• Mental Load Overload: Anxiety about your baby’s wellbeing, relationship changes, and financial stress often fuel insomnia. And if you struggled with sleep during pregnancy, those patterns might persist postpartum.

Related: The pulse of a mother’s postpartum anxiety

How do you know if it’s postpartum insomnia?

Here’s the thing: It’s normal to feel tired after having a baby. But postpartum insomnia is different. If you’re lying awake even when the baby is sound asleep, or struggling with extreme irritability, daytime fatigue, or unrefreshing sleep, it might be insomnia.

What can you do about it?

The good news? Postpartum insomnia isn’t permanent, and there are ways to tackle it.

1. Seek Professional Help: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is a game-changer. It helps rewire your brain to stop associating bedtime with anxiety. If possible, explore CBT-I even before giving birth to set yourself up for postpartum sleep success.

2. Try Light Therapy: Exposure to natural light (or using a light box) during the day can help reset your circadian rhythm. Morning walks with your baby in a carrier or stroller offer a double benefit—soothing for both of you.

3. Create a Sleep Sanctuary: Say goodbye to doom-scrolling (we see you, late-night TikTok) and create a tech-free bedroom zone. Try calming rituals like a warm bath or reading a physical book before bed.

4. Enlist Support: Lean on your partner, family, or friends for help when possible. A few hours of uninterrupted sleep can do wonders.

5. Prioritize Your Mental Health: Postpartum insomnia and mood disorders like anxiety or depression often go hand in hand. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out to a therapist or join a support group.

A note for the exhausted moms

Take it from someone who’s been there: You will sleep again. It may not happen tonight or even next week, but it’s coming. And when that glorious, uninterrupted night finally arrives, it’ll feel like winning the lottery.

Until then, hang in there. Drink the coffee, accept the help, and know that you’re doing an amazing job—even when you feel like you’re running on empty.

Sources:

1. Hormonal shifts after birth. Hackensack Meridian Health. 2023. “What Happens to Your Hormones After Birth”.

2. Infant melatonin development. National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI). 2022. “Melatonin Secretion andIts Development in Infants”.

3. Treating insomnia with CBT-I. Sleep Foundation. 2024. “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)”.

4. Managing circadian rhythm disorders. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI). 2024. “Circadian Rhythm Disorders: Treatment”.