Ruby Wax on her astroturf garden: ‘Everybody’s snobbish about it’

Where do you live?

My husband Ed and I live in a Victorian terraced house in Notting Hill. We’ve been here 30 years now. I’ll always remember the day we moved in, because I took a walk over to the communal area which runs along the back of our terrace. As I strolled across, I saw this girl hanging from a large jungle gym. She took one look at me and said: “Are you Ruby Wax’s mother?” You know those moments you get when your dream finally comes true and then you get a knife in the back. Well, that was one of those.

What kind of garden do you have?

At the back of the house, I have a small garden with a terrace, then steps leading up to an artificial lawn which everybody is snobbish about. It’s actually got real grass growing through it now, so I think it should be classed as a hybrid. There are  borders on both sides with lots of mature shrubs, many of them with flowers such as the lilac. I don’t do any work in the garden myself because, in the past, I only had to touch a plant and it died.

But also, I write and I do shows and it’s just fair that someone else does it for me. So, I have a gardener who comes about four times a year. I just tell him what I want and he does it for me. Colour is my thing. Reds, yellows, oranges...  I like things to dazzle. I want to come out and feel like I’m in Vegas.

Tell us about the plants and trees in your garden?

I’m not great with names of everything, but I do have a beautiful maple tree, a yucca and an oak. My thing is planting flowers in pots, so I have lots of colourful pots and in the spring I always have daffodils and tulips; yellow roses, begonias and forget-me-nots in the summer.

Then, one of my neighbours has purple wisteria covering the back of her house which always finds its way over to us. At the front of the house, there’s a large flower box on the window sill filled with the most colourful artificial flowers you’ve ever seen – a sort of Day of the Dead look. What’s not to love? I’ve got them all year round and I don’t have to water them.

What are some of your favourite features?

On the lawn, I have a vintage style candy pink table and two neon yellow sun loungers. Our cat Tigger has a lime green cushion to sit on. From the oak tree, which sits at the back of the garden, hangs a bright red swinging egg seat. It’s a bit wild down that end, so it feels very secluded when I’m in it.

I also hang stainless steel spirals, solar bulbs and fairy lights from the oak, plus a chandelier which is based on the one Carrie Fisher had on her tree. You can put candles in it, but I’m worried if I do, I might burn the garden down. Carrie made her garden look like Disneyland; mine looks more like the pub on the corner. But in recent years, I have to admit that gardening has touched me on a deeper level and that’s come about because of Findhorn.

Tell us about your connection with Findhorn.

I first heard about the eco village in Findhorn some 20 years ago. It’s in Moray, on the northeast coast of Scotland, about 30 miles from Inverness. It was set up in the early 1960s and has about 600 people living in the community itself and 2,000 in the surrounding area. It’s not a commune, but everybody’s passionate about the environment and self-sufficiency. There’s also daily meditation in the community hall, plus yoga, every kind of healer you can imagine and pagan rituals on the beach. It’s a very wild part of the world, so your connection with the environment and the elements is immediate. The forests up there are incredible, especially in the fall.

What kinds of things do you get involved in when you’re up there?

I’ll never forget the first time I went there. They always need volunteers, and I offered to help out in the community’s large veg garden. On my first day, I was asked to pick out all the weeds from one big patch and when I told the head gardener Jules I’d done it, she came over and said: “Those aren’t weeds. You’ve pulled up all the rocket salad.”

I had to put it all back, one plant at a time. It was a bit like putting hair plugs into a bald man’s head. I’ve worked in it many times now and I think my gardening skills have improved. I can pick tomatoes in record time. In fact, I pick everything in record time, although I think that’s got more to do with my OCD. I can’t stop a job until it’s finished. I sow, I pick, I plant, I do whatever jobs they give me and I love that. In fact, I love Findhorn so much, I bought my own eco-cottage up there three years ago. It has things like solar panels and doesn’t use mains electricity. It also has a garden and I plant everything myself.

Did you have a garden as a child?

We lived beside Lake Michigan and I thought Russia was across the water from us, so I’d collect berries in the autumn in case we were attacked. I was very afraid of Russia. We had a big cherry tree and hedges to keep other people away. In fact, it was like a fortress. The only thing was, I wasn’t allowed in the garden in case I brought dirt into the house. My mother hated dirt, so I could only look at the garden from the house.

There was also a beautiful park across the street from us and I wasn’t allowed to go there, either. From the front window, I’d watch kids going in to play baseball and come out eating burgers. As parks go, it was the American Dream. I just wasn’t a part of it.

Do you think gardening is good for you?

People always say that being outside, exchanging air with nature and getting your hands in the earth can help your mental state. I think there’s something in that. I know that I need to be in an environment which is calm and I get that when I’m standing in a forest. I don’t really believe in spirituality, but just doing that comes pretty close. I’m also into the studies done by the mycologist, Merlin Sheldrake. His book about fungi and how everything connects with everything is fascinating.

I also rent a house in Weston Park, which is part of John Cherry’s estate in Hertfordshire. He’s passionate about no-till farming and every summer holds the Groundswell Festival, which is all about regenerative farming. I’ve learnt so much about the land and the soil. There’s also a forest there which I love to walk through and a large pond where I go swimming. I still love my artificial flowers and plastic grass, but being immersed in nature is hard to beat.

Ruby Wax: I’m Not as Well as I Thought I Was, is at the Ambassadors Theatre, September 16-28. Visit rubywax.net. Her book of the same name is out now Penguin Life, £10.99.