Quit it! From vaping to doomscrolling, 10 bad habits and how to break them
‘Habit is a great deadener,” wrote Samuel Beckett. And he didn’t even have watermelon vapes and doom scrolling to contend with. Most of us have at least a few behaviours we want to change, but how can you break the habits of a lifetime? We asked the experts …
Spending too much time on your phone
From scrolling on the toilet to taking your phone to bed, 41% of us feel that we spend too much time on our devices. Hilda Burke, a psychotherapist and the author of The Phone Addiction Workbook, advises creating an “inspiring screensaver” – a visual reminder of what you really want to be doing with the hours that you’re frittering away on your phone. It could be a picture of your dog, your kids or a quote that motivates you.
“Visual cues are extremely powerful, especially when we’re exposed to them over and over again. The average smartphone user checks their device every 12 minutes, so a positive visual cue can work to your advantage,” Burke says. She also advises turning off notifications, unsubscribing from group chats and carving out short periods of the day to switch your phone off or leave it at home.
The app One Sec leads you through a short breathing exercise every time you try to open a designated “danger app”, which might be all you need to avoid checking Instagram (again).
Unhealthy snacking
We all know that eating unhealthy food between meals isn’t great, but there are ways to curb your hunger without resorting to Ozempic. Alex Ruani is a researcher in nutrition science at University College London and a “recovering snacker” herself.
“The first step is to make sure that the food within easy reach – on your kitchen counter, in your backpack, on your desk – is healthy,” she says. “A study from Cornell found that the mere presence of unhealthy food on a kitchen counter was associated with higher BMI.”
Along with trying to eat fibre-rich foods that keep you fuller for longer (vegetables, fruit, wholegrain cereals and breads, pulses and nuts), Ruani also suggests replacing the sensory properties of the snack you crave with a healthier version. “You may be craving a cookie, but have a chocolate rice cake instead.”
Vaping
The government will be banning disposable vapes in June, so there’s no time like the present to wean yourself off that sweet minty dummy. “Many people start vaping to stop smoking but find that vapes are just as hard – and in some cases harder – to give up,” says Sophia Papadakis from the National Centre for Smoking Cessation and Training. “We advise our clients to reduce the nicotine strength of the e-liquid in their vapes in two to four-week stages, working down to 0%.”
Papadakis recommends gradually extending the time between smoking (from 20 minutes to 40, for example) and setting rules for yourself about where you do and don’t vape to “break the association between vaping and certain situations, such as nights out”.
Online shopping
The allure of “click to buy” pushes 94% of us to make an impulse purchase online every month, and clothing is the biggest temptation – with up to half of clothing bought on websites getting returned. “Before you buy something new, shop from your own wardrobe,” says Tatiana de Normann, a stylist who calls herself “the personal anti-shopper”. “Look at what you have, put together outfits – then you won’t panic-shop before an event.”
De Normann advises her clients to keep items in their online basket for at least a few days. “Most people will either forget them or come back and decide they don’t really need them,” she says. Unsubscribing from retailers’ emails, deleting shopping apps and removing your card details are helpful “speed bumps” that help slow down online shopping impulses.
Drinking too much
“Moderate drinking can actually be harder than abstinence because it requires more decisions,” says Rosamund Dean, author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change Your Life. “You will have to ask yourself ‘Am I going to drink today? How much?’. So, to make life easier create rules: ie, no more than three drinking days a week, and no more than three drinks at once.”
Dean suggests downloading an app to keep track of how much you drink (Try Dry is a good one). “And never decide what to drink on the spot. Check out a venue’s alcohol-free options in advance, so you’re prepared to order your kombucha, mocktail or 0% beer. If you’re going to someone’s house, bring your own alcohol-free drink that you’re excited about.”
If all else fails and that fourth pint is calling, Dean recommends keeping your “why” at the front of your mind: “Whether that’s more energy, improved concentration, better skin, fewer regrets, less anxiety, more restorative sleep, a stronger immune system or a reduced risk of cancer, reminding yourself of the reasons you are drinking less can really help.”
Biting your nails
About 20 to 30% of us nibble our nails, with children and teenagers the most likely to suffer from onychophagia, as it’s known. “Our hands are with us all the time so stopping nail biting is really difficult,” says Dr Martha Collado, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be the Grown-Up.
Collado suggests becoming aware of your triggers, such as boredom or anxiety, and your danger times, such as when doing something passive like watching TV or scrolling on your phone. “Then find a behaviour to replace the nail biting. For example, if it’s boredom you might create a list of activities which could redirect your focus, such as filing your nails or massaging your hands. If it’s anxiety, maybe it’s a breathing exercise.”
Not getting enough sleep
“We still take a very random approach to sleep and treat it as something to fit in when we’ve got nothing else left to do that day,” says Nick Littlehales, a sleep coach who trains elite athletes, including footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.
“A good night’s sleep starts before bedtime. It’s waking up at a consistent time, exposing yourself to plenty of daylight, 20-minute moments in the day where it’s just you and your brain – which might be meditating, napping or just having a break.”
Littlehales says some clients find it helpful to set a sleep alarm to remind them to start their bedtime routine. “Ninety minutes before you sleep, start stepping away from your daily activities. Head to a room that’s cooler than your body temperature, and dim the lights.”
Procrastinating
The old saying goes “never do tomorrow what you can do today”. Yet that super important task always seems to kick around at the bottom of your to-do list. “There is a misunderstanding that procrastination is poor time management or laziness, but it stems from a wish to avoid difficult feelings such as boredom, frustration, anxiety or overwhelm,” says Collado.
“Chronic procrastinators often have perfectionism in common, an all-or-nothing mindset that creates a barrier to beginning a task. Instead of focusing on the “perfect” time to do the work, setting “perfect” conditions and doing it “perfectly”, just set a time and date in your calendar, and do it. It might not be perfect, but getting it done will bring relief from stress and overwhelm, and that can motivate you to do this again – and procrastinate less.”
Collado says visualising the end result (what you’ll gain) can mitigate the short-term pain (how boring and time-consuming a task is). And if you do end up putting something off, don’t beat yourself up. Studies have shown that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less for their next one.
Exercising inconsistently
“People put too much pressure on themselves to exercise,” says personal trainer Nick Finney. “They think ‘I don’t have it in me today’ and cancel, but even 20 minutes of stretching is better than nothing. You don’t need to push yourself to the limit, you just need to keep coming.”
Finney says the other big barrier to working out is people thinking that they don’t have time. The answer? Multitasking. “On busy days I will spend 30 minutes walking on a treadmill or cycling gently on an exercise bike while I do my admin or respond to emails,” he says. Setting micro goals, like a manageable daily step count, might also encourage you on the days when motivation is hard to find.
“Expecting too much and too soon only leads to frustration,” says Finney. “Make the weight loss or the fitness goal achievable and do exercise you enjoy. No one is going to convince themselves to keep going to some intense bootcamp that they absolutely dread.”
Always cancelling
Every friendship group has a serial bailer, known for pulling out of plans. But what if you’re the perennial flake? “Work out what’s behind that impulse to cancel,” says Anna Mathur, psychotherapist and author of The Uncomfortable Truth. “Are you over committing and saying yes to too many things because you’re a people pleaser? Do you have Fomo so have trouble declining invites? Are you feeling socially anxious and need some tools to deal with that?”
Mathur says once you’ve worked out the root cause, you can address it. “It’s also important to look at your week as a whole,” she says, “and if you’ve got plans then make sure you’re not going to be in need of rest when they roll around. Often, we exhaust ourselves with thousands of tiny social interactions online, and we’re frittering away our social energy when we could be spending it on meaningful interactions with people we would feel energised by showing up for.”
