How to Pull Off an Irish Exit Without Being Rude
We’ve all attended an event that makes us want to run for the exit. Maybe it’s a work-related get-together where the only thing people can talk about is, well, work; a happy hour with an invite list that includes every ex who ever made you unhappy; or a holiday party that is completely lacking in good cheer.
Whatever the not-so-festive occasion, you have a couple of choices about what to do as a guest. You could plaster a smile on your face—or get plastered on a few stiff drinks—and stay until the better end. You could also lie. A couple of suggestions: Fake a phone call wherein your presence is needed immediately in another location to deal with an unspecific emergency. (If you must get specific, make sure to go with something unserious. The last thing you need is for the host to start looking for details of the “house fire” online.) You could also pretend to be afflicted with a benign malady—a stomachache, mild nausea, or headache will do—that requires you to go home directly.
But if you’re not up for grinning and bearing it or lying to your friends’ faces, there’s a third option: Simply make an Irish exit.
What Is an Irish Exit?
An Irish Exit is the act of leaving a social gathering without saying goodbye. Think of it as a no-muss, no-fuss way of getting the heck out of dodge.
Here’s how it works: Let’s say you’re at a work party and you’ve put in a good hour of face time with the higher ups. Sadly, Kevin from accounting has cornered you and decided to regale you with a list of every single problem he’s had with the new software since it was installed two months ago. When he decides it’s time to take his grievances directly to Michael Scott (yes, you work at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in this scenario), you have two choices: head for the bar or head for the door as discreetly as possible.
Do not wave; do not make excuses; do not say goodbye. Make like Criss Angel and simply disappear.
If you pull off an Irish exit successfully, no one will ever have any idea how long you stayed or what time you left.
Why Is it Called an Irish Exit?
For as long as anyone remembers, there has been conflict between the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland, but that has absolutely nothing to do with an Irish exit.
Some say the term originated during the 19th-century Potato Famine when there was a mass exodus of Irish people headed for the U.S. Others claim that the disappearing act has more to do with Irish Americans propensity for the drink and a need to make a quick exit in order to avoid confrontation or embarrassment about how drunk they’ve gotten. We’re guessing there are more than a few Irish exits on St. Patrick’s Day.
Are There Other Names for an Irish Exit?
Yes! In addition to Irish goodbye, this form of so-long-less escape has a couple other Euro-inspired names. There are folks who swear by the French or Polish exit, which presumably means they sneak out without saying “au revoir” or “do widzenia.”
Of course, there’s also some good old-fashioned American terms for it. First up: “ghosting.” Sure, a lot of people use that particular term with regard to a love interest suddenly disappearing without explanation, but for our money, it can absolutely be used to describe making an unassuming escape from an event.
You can also give a nod to famed American escape artist Harry Houdini who dazzled crowds with his fantastic feats in the 1920s. When you “pull a Houdini,” that means you’ve managed to get out of a tricky situation as if by magic!
Is an Irish Exit Rude?
Look, if you’re at a seated dinner, performing duties as a bridesmaid in a loved one’s wedding, or being honored in some way, you can’t expect to be able to disappear without a word and still have friends. But if you’re at a happy hour, open house, or some other kind of come-and-go informal event, feel free to vanish. In some cases, it’s actually the most polite thing you can do—the host and hostess likely have their hands full. Send a note of thanks the next day, and you’re good to go!
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