How public displays of cuteness took over social
Is it just us or does everyone seem to be more in love than usual these days? Where once public displays of affection were widely considered icky and embarrassing, now it’s almost cringe to not be obsessed with your partner. Playing it cool? It’s out.
Just look at Barry Keoghan simping over Sabrina Carpenter, Taylor Swift’s rom-com-esq romance with Travis Kelce — with Tay even bringing him on stage to flaunt their romance during one of her Eras Tour shows — or, well, everything about Charli XCX and George Daniel (including that almost-baby talk TikTok). Plus, on TV series like Love Island, contestants find any excuse to mark every minor relationship milestone, creating elaborate proposals, of sorts, to ask their partners to be exclusive, then in a relationship, and celebrating various other moments.
It’s not just celebs, though. Plenty of young people are leaning into in-your-face-romance right now. In fact, a recent study carried out by Tinder found that 59% of women are looking for chivalry in their relationships.
Obviously, this isn’t a totally alien concept. What we now think of as cheesy romantic gestures — dancing together, flowers and chocolate, writing love letters — were the norm for romantic relationships just a couple of generations back. And yet, somewhere along the way, these things became ‘cringeworthy’. Perhaps it was the advent of social media, and the option to mark yourselves as ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook as a way to solidify your relationship status, in place of a dinner date with a dozen roses. Plus, with lots of people embracing singledom in recent years — particularly women, who might have previously felt pressure to be in a traditional relationship — being happily coupled up just hasn’t been very cool recently.
So why have our attitudes towards romance changed? How have we gone from traditional romantic gestures to stringently playing it cool (sometimes to our own detriment) to being so openly gushy about our partners on social?
Beth, 34, says embracing parts of her relationship that she might have previously considered cringeworthy has helped her and her partner thrive. “We coordinate our outfits so our colour palette vibes well and we look like we’re going to the same place; we have date nights at home that involve dancing around our living room; and I’ve made a playlist for us with original cover art with our initials,” she says.
Charley, who is 31 and lives in London, agrees that she’s recently put aside her previous concerns about being cringey in her current relationship. “As a young millennial woman, I feel like I was conditioned to be ‘the cool girl’ and get cringed out by romance,” she says. “But I’ve tried to go against those instincts in order to feel close to my partner.”
Charley and Beth aren’t the only people who are looking to dive head first into romance. According to a survey by Hinge, Gen Z are 30% more likely than millennials to believe there’s one soulmate for each person and 39% more likely to consider themselves romantically idealistic.
This is surprising, considering that Gen Z are often dubbed as ‘non-traditional’ when it comes to relationships, experimenting with ideas like non-monogamy. Plus, for a lot of people in their 20s and 30s, dating before the internet is a foreign concept. And, although it’s certainly possible to find the love of your life on your phone these days, swiping through various images of strangers to find someone you might like doesn’t quite capture that whirlwind romance sentiment you see in movies.
“I’ve found myself embracing PDA more and more with my boyfriend,” 24-year-old Maya tells Cosmopolitan UK. “I think doing romantic and ‘cringey’ things that you wouldn’t do with anyone else adds a special element to the relationship that separates it from the other relationships in your life.”
“I think what’s driving this interest in romance is a yearning for something that’s simple, pure, and authentic,” says Kate Daly, relationship psychologist and founder of the app Amicable, explaining that this could be a direct response to feeling jaded or bored by online dating. “We live in an age dominated by technology, where no one’s sure about what’s real and what’s fake. That means that those deep, romantic things you can do for each other that are in the moment and in person feel even more powerful.”
Still, these days, PDA is often very online. Influencer Alix Earle’s videos with her boyfriend Braxton regularly go viral and ‘influencer couples’ is a whole category of TikTok celebrity (Nathan and Grace and Rosie and Harry are TikTok couples who each have millions of followers). Plus, you’ll find songs blowing up on TikTok — such as Taylor Swift’s “So High School” or Summer Walker’s “Hell N Back” — thanks to them being used for trends specific to couples, with people sharing what appear to be intentionally cringe-worthy videos with their partners.
For many people, this might be a way to celebrate their love. What’s romantic to one person, however, might not be to another. While we might be enamoured with our boo, it doesn’t mean everyone wants to watch us lock lips. This is why public displays of affection can often feel icky to an onlooker.
What’s more, if there’s one thing we know about social media, it’s that it’s never 100% authentic, and posting videos like this online doesn’t necessarily guarantee a happy relationship. “Romance is only romantic if it’s authentic and sincere,” Daly says. “That’s what can distinguish being cringeworthy and being romantic.”
With this in mind, keeping things real is key to allowing your romantic life to reach its full potential and Charley says that she was finally able to lean into her lovey-dovey side when she met her current partner. “Having the right person in your life to be romantic with and aligning on what you find romantic is important,” she says. “I think the wrong person could make anything feel cringe but the right person aligns with you in that they find the same things embarrassing as you do but also because they’re special to you they’re less cringe.”
“I used to find romantic gestures that I saw in movies or on social media cringey and weird, but once I got into a relationship with someone I care about and those gestures started happening to me, I realised I like them,” Maya adds.
And for Beth, becoming a full-blown romantic came down to something even more important: coming to terms with her sexuality. “My views on romance have largely changed over time due to my coming out in my 30s,” she says. “Maybe it’s the newfound sense of self that comes from accepting who I am to my core, or perhaps it’s the collective idea that 30-somethings stop caring what people think of them and their choices, but I’ve certainly let my freak flag fly when it comes to romance as I’ve gotten older.”
Not everyone is a romantic, but exploring that side of yourself and letting go of what you might have previously considered cringe could help make your relationship even more special. And it could even test your compatibility. “When you meet the right person, if your spontaneity and feelings aren’t met or don’t land in the right way, then that’s a pretty big sign that maybe the compatibility isn’t there,” Daly says.
Like most things in romantic relationships, it all comes down to communication and honesty. And if your love language involves baby talk and an excessive amount of physical touch, then there’s no need to be embarrassed about that. There shouldn’t be any need to play it cool with the person you’re opting to share your life with, and if that makes you cringey, so be it, as long as it makes you happy.
You Might Also Like
