This psychologist wants you to know that post-traumatic growth can be possible
Much of clinical psychologist Dr Edith Shiro's professional life revolves around the axis of trauma. In her Miami practice she specialises in helping people to unpick their life's most destabilising events, before attempting to guide them in feeling their way back to a place of safety. The roots of her interest in the subject, though, are deeply personal.
Two of her grandparents were the sole survivors of families otherwise obliterated in the Holocaust; the other pair fled persecution in Syria. Raised in Venezuela, 'in a community of immigrants and refugees,' she witnessed the impacts of such spectres on people as they sought to slot a new life together.
A curious thing that struck her was how some people who made it through unthinkable horror survived – and others thrived. 'My grandmother [from Europe] had a lot of suffering; more difficulty going through life. Her husband, my grandfather, on the other hand, had this sense of: "I went through something extremely difficult, but I can love life and move forward." It was interesting for me to see that.'
Later, working as a psychologist in the USA with people as they tried to reckon with their stories of violence, terror and displacement, including those from refugee communities, she observed the same phenomenon: a splintering between those whose day-to-day lives were characterised by sadness and fear and those who, somehow, were able to find hope.
Beyond that, she found that some reported a style of personal transformation. Perhaps they professed to having uncovered a personal strength they did not know they had, a new meaning in relationships or a spiritual change. It's this phenomenon which some researchers have labelled 'post traumatic growth,' and which is the subject of Dr Shiro's forthcoming book 'The Unexpected Gift of Trauma: The Path to Posttraumatic Growth' (Little, Brown Book Group, £14.99).
An important note is that this theory is in no way meant to minimise the distress of traumatic experiences, or to indicate that they should be viewed as some sort of necessary vehicle to navigate the road to a pot of gold. Given the chance, of course, the vast majority of people would sacrifice any perceived growth if they could erase the worst thing that ever happened to them from their histories.
It's also true there are many factors – like being separated from your loved ones, a lack of access to care or on-going traumatic events unfolding like a Russian doll – that might make the recovery described feel out of reach, let alone the prospect of becoming a better version of yourself. It's also been noted by some academics that this framing could heap extra pressure on top of those reeling from pain.
With that said, for others, such examples offer a map forwards as they move through shaky ground. Here, in an interview which has been condensed for clarity, Dr Shiro unpacks the idea for WH.
WH: There seems to be some different definitions of 'trauma' floating around. How do you define it?
ES: The word ‘trauma’ originally came from the medical field and was applied to traumatic injuries in the body. Then, it was also applied to [mental] trauma, such as that from war, like shell shock. Nowadays, the definition is broader. The one I use is: difficult, challenging, negative experiences which overwhelm people, tearing up their belief systems and which they don't have the tools to deal with.
There is both 'big T' trauma, such as war, abuse and surviving an earthquake and 'small T' traumas, including abandonment, rejection and microaggressions.
WH: So the way that the event affects you is really what is vital?
ES: Trauma, for me, is relational. When something is traumatic, it's not necessarily what happens – it’s what happens to you, inside, when something happens. Let's say a child is being bullied. If that child doesn't have supportive parents or a system to help them to deal with it, that could become a traumatic event. It affects your relationship with yourself, with others or with the world.
The other thing is that trauma is subjective. If you tell me that your divorce was traumatic, who am I to say that it wasn't? Maybe in my divorce I had support and understanding, but for you, it affected your concept of relationships and your ability to enter a new relationship.
WH: Could you explain what post-traumatic growth is?
ES: The phrase was coined by [psychologists] Dr Richard Tedeschi and Dr Lawrence Calhoun in the nineties. It's not a very well known concept, unlike post traumatic stress disorder, (PTSD) which most people are aware of.
Post-traumatic growth is the positive changes that come after dealing with difficult and challenging situations. These changes might look like stronger self-perception, more meaningful relationships, more purpose in life or becoming more spiritual.
WH: Your book is titled ‘The Unexpected Gift of Trauma.' That name might surprise some people...
ES: A lot of people might ask 'how can you put the words "trauma" and "gift" in the same sentence?' We often see trauma as a life sentence. The idea of my book is to give this message of hope. To say, it's precisely in those moments of pain, of woundedness, of brokenness, when we have a precious opportunity to grow, to overcome our own limitations and to use it as a springboard for transformation.
WH: This idea might sound like a lot for someone who recognises that they have been traumatised. They might be feeling very scared at the thought of what comes next...
ES: The most important thing I would say to a person that is scared, afraid or overwhelmed is that I completely acknowledge and validate [those feelings]. I don't take them away. I would not say to anyone in that situation "no, don't worry, it's going to be fine, you're going to have a gift at the end of this." Actually, people at that stage cannot even hear the possibility that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
So I would say, [in clinic] even though you can't really see it right now, I'm going to hold the hope for you. So you can be here with your feelings of being overwhelmed. This is a very difficult process and it takes a lot of courage. So just the fact that you know that you can be there with your feelings is good enough.
WH: Are there any commonalities you notice in those people who do manage to thrive beyond trauma?
ES: I wish I had a formula [but there are so many variables]. Is it a chronic trauma, is it happening over time or is it a one time event? Did it happen when you were a child or when you were an adult? Did it happen when you were in your most vulnerable moment? Or was it when you were feeling strong?
But I can tell you that something about connection with others is essential for healing and for recovery. So a sense of belonging to a community is a protective factor, as is having a secure attachment to another human being, a support system, having good relationships. That makes a huge difference in recovering from trauma.
WH: In the book, you propose stages for arriving a post-traumatic growth. Can you briefly describe these?
ES: The first is 'awareness,' when we recognise how we feel. Then there is 'awakening,' when we [acknowledge] what we're going through and we reach out to somebody: to a therapist, a family member, a friend, and says: "I need help, or at least [somewhere] I can express how I am feeling."'
'Becoming' is the stage in which we open ourselves up enough to be vulnerable. Let's say you have, God forbid, suffered the death of a sibling. You might begin to want to learn more about death and mourning and loss, perhaps you take on a new perspective on what death is.
'Being' is the stage of integration, when you take in the trauma and the growth and you are able to see back into that [traumatic] situation without being triggered. So you're able to integrate all of it.
Then there is the stage of 'transformation', or wisdom, and this is when you really are in post-traumatic growth. Here, you are understand what your priorities are, you have more meaningful relationships, people usually connect to something higher than themselves – not necessarily religion, more spirituality, of feeling that you are part of something bigger than yourself.
People usually tell me at this stage 'I know what my purpose is, I know what I'm doing here. I know what I what my mission is.' And not just that, but they are able to transform that into helping others in the community.
'The Unexpected Gift of Trauma: The Path to Posttraumatic Growth' is out now
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