What to Do When the Person You're Eating With Is Behaving Badly
We've all dined with someone who's rude, obnoxious, drunk, cheap, or just a jerk. Here's how to deal with the situation and still be welcome at the restaurant.
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Have you ever been at a restaurant with a friend or acquaintance who made you feel uncomfortable being with them? Maybe they were rude to the server or talked too loud about things that others don’t want to hear. Maybe alcohol got the best of them and they turned into a living, breathing ball of embarrassment. What should you do when you’re with someone whose behavior doesn't align with your own?
What if they're rude to the waiter?
If you happen to be with someone who is ruthlessly disrespectful to the service staff, chances are that’s something you didn’t already know about this person. If you had, you probably wouldn’t be at a restaurant with them unless it’s a family member that you’re required to share a table with on occasion.
"They will recognize that rotten piece of fruit for what they are."
Darron Cardosa
Your first plan of action is to make sure the server understands you do not share their attitude. It might be impossible to apologize on their behalf without making it super awkward, but you can certainly try to make up for their rudeness by amping up your manners. Throw out “please” and “thank you” with reckless abandon. Overcompensate to the point of saccharine sweetness. Make it clear that your companion is the problem, not you. Save yourself and throw them under the bus if needed. Tell them it’s never a good idea to be rude to the person who handles your food, but the main goal is for you to remain above the fray. A server knows that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch and they will recognize that rotten piece of fruit for what they are.
Related: The Fine Art of Telling a Customer to F Off
What if they don't believe in tipping?
Every once in a while you realize that you’re dining with someone who doesn’t believe in tipping. It’s one thing to not believe in Santa Claus, but to not believe in something that very actually does exist is a preposterous way to think. Tipping is real and, like it or not, that’s where we are in our country. Still, some people refuse to do it. If you end up in this situation, there’s no point in trying to sway their belief. You’re wasting your breath in the same way they see a 20% tip as a waste of money.
It’s time for you to do two things. When you begin to leave the restaurant, “forget” your phone at the table so you can return to pick it up and discreetly leave an additional tip to make up for their lack of one. Secondly, after you retrieve your phone, immediately delete this person’s contact information. They don’t deserve you.
Related: The Fine Art of Dining with Friends and Family Who Don't Tip Enough
What if they get too drunk?
It’s nice to share a cocktail or two with friends at a restaurant or bar, but every once in a while someone goes one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Your friend being publicly intoxicated can be funny until it’s absolutely not funny anymore. Get them some water and prepare for the worst. If a certain something comes up, like literally comes up in their throat in the form of possible projectile puke, do everything you can to get them to a restroom, posthaste. Fate has chosen you as the babysitter and you must apologize profusely on their behalf and accept the awkwardness.
"Fate has chosen you as the babysitter and you must apologize profusely on their behalf and accept the awkwardness. "
Darron Cardosa
The most important thing to do is to guarantee that your friend does not hurl into the sink. You wouldn’t think you’d have to be specific about where to release your guts when the toilet is literally right there, but, you do. I know this as fact. And no restaurant employee wants to clean vomit out of a sink.
Related: Why It's Illegal to Get Drunk in an English Pub
Will the waitstaff blame me?
Dining out with people is always a true test of how a person is. Watching someone interact with staff or seeing if they know the difference between an inside voice and an outside voice factors heavily on your decision of whether or not to go out to eat with them again. Their behavior also reflects on you and if you're an exemplary customer, you don't want your reputation tarnished.
Related: Want to Know What the Server Really Thinks of You? They're Talking About It on TikTok
Luckily, servers grade customers on a curve. We don’t look at a table as a whole, but at the individual people and we can tell who the good ones are. We see you when you’re nice. We also see who threw up in the sink and that guy is not welcome anymore.
