People Who Have Been Cheated On Are Revealing The Shocking Ways They Discovered The Truth
Reddit user OkCheesecake7067 asked the AskReddit community, "To those who have been cheated on: How did you find out that they were cheating?" The thread quickly filled with hundreds of devastating, jaw-dropping stories of betrayal. Here's what people shared:
1."I had gone through my daughter's closet and had a bag for Goodwill. I was about to put it in my car, and at the last second, I decided my husband should do it. He never does it. So, I opened the trunk of his car, and there was his gym bag. But he hadn't been to the gym in over a year. I opened the gym bag, and it was filled with our marital sex toys and some basic toiletries. That's right. He was cheating on me, USING OUR SEX TOYS with another woman. I got into his phone, found more, and confronted him. It turns out he had been cheating the entire 10-year marriage with multiple women and some men — some that I knew from my work, who he had in our house when I was deployed."
2."He's a photographer, and it's not unusual for him to travel for photoshoots. I took the SD card out of his camera one day to download some photos he had taken of our then-3-month-old daughter. I found photos and videos of him having sex with other women that he was photographing. Yeah. I trusted him so completely that he got too lazy to hide it anymore. I never would have touched his camera before our daughter was born. I just wanted to print the photos."
3."I caught my fiancé and my flatmate in my bed together two weeks before the wedding. The fiancé did not live with us, and my flatmate had her own bed on the premises that she could have screwed him in."
4."She broke things off when she got pregnant because she was sure it was someone else's baby. Turns out I was one of three possible dads. Fast forward a couple of years, and after some paternity tests, we discovered it was actually mine."
5."While we were looking for a place to eat on his phone, a flirty text from some girl popped up. She complimented a picture I had just taken of him. He had sent it to her while sitting right next to me. Bold move. This all went down at the Eiffel Tower just a few hours into our supposed two-week vacation."
6."I found out a boyfriend was cheating on me by writing down the serial number of the box of condoms by the bed before I left his place. I checked each condom, too, to check the serial numbers on them. And I counted them. There were seven left in a box of what was 10. When I came back, there were still seven condoms in the box. I checked the serial number of the box and condoms. They were different. He'd literally replaced the EXACT same number of condoms, thinking I would never know."
7."I found a CD of love songs in her car. I was moving her car off the drive and singing along to NIN's 'Something I Can Never Have' when it dawned on me: 'This isn't my car, and she hates NIN.' I skipped through the tracks, and it was obviously a mix tape of love songs. The guy she was cheating with turned out to be the one she was always telling me was such a good dad, husband, and family man. This happened all while I worked full time and then looked after the kids when she worked on her 'business.'"
8."I dreamed of it the night it was happening. I was away visiting my parents. I told my then-boyfriend about my dream, and he denied it, but a week or so later, someone dropped a note in my mailbox telling me he had cheated. I never knew who did that, but it merely confirmed what I already knew."
9."He left his laptop screen wide open when he went to take a dump, and I wanted to check something on my Facebook, so I just went to grab it and saw an open message (back in the days when Facebook messages were pop-ups on the screen). It was right there in black and white with a girl I knew, talking about how much he hated me and liked her. I went home and didn't say why, then ended it a few days later over text. It was my first boyfriend, so it hurt badly it's time, but it's just funny now."
10."I was suspicious when she was driving five hours to visit a female friend from college I never heard of. So, I wrote down her mileage before she left. When she returned, she had only driven 80 miles."
11."My 3-year-old told me."
12."She was a bartender at a popular spot downtown. I would hang out with her while she was working, and eventually, I befriended one of the other bartenders, Jake. One day, I got a text from Jake that said, 'Hey man, as your friend, I feel like I have to tell you this. [Girlfriend's name] was making out with our bouncer, and they went into the bathroom together.' I thanked Jake for being honest with me, sent my girlfriend a text asking when she started hooking up with the bouncer, and then waited. About 10 minutes later, my phone was blowing up with her messages. First was the denial, then the 'it only happened once/was a drunk mistake' excuse, then something about it only being a couple of times but that she'd stop. I didn't reply to any of these messages. I let her ramble until she finally said, 'So, we can't get past this?' I replied, 'No, I don't think so.'"
13."I got a call at 2:00 a.m. from his wife, who lived in another state with his three kids. He had recently moved to my town for work. He was also visiting his family at the time of the call. Little did I know that he was visiting his mom, as well as his wife and kids."
14."The worst one was when I found her journal, and in it was a list of the men she'd slept with. My name was two up from the bottom, and we'd been dating for over a year. One of the names below mine was her male friend with whom she swore nothing had ever happened."
15."She told me right after she came back. She knocked on my door, broke down crying, had me comfort her for an hour, and then broke the news. Her cheating wasn't the worst part, though. She was at a music festival with a few mutual friends and told everyone we had broken up recently and hooked up with some dude. Everyone knew what was going on. No one, however, messaged me even once upon finding out that I was supposedly going through a breakup, sitting alone at home for the entire four-day weekend they were there. Thanks, I guess."
16."She came home from work one day, put her purse on the kitchen chair, and it fell on the floor and spilled everything out, including her burner phone. I picked it up and asked what it was; she acted like she didn't know. It only had one number in it, and it was his."
17."In my college dorm, I ran into her very drunk roommate in the elevator as I got back from a late-night cramming session. She said hi and asked what I thought about my girlfriend going home once a month. I told her that it didn't bother me. She said I must be very open because she'd be mad if her boyfriend went home once a month to sleep with his ex. In retrospect, it was incredibly obvious that she was sleeping with her ex back home, but I refused to see it because I was into her, and we had amazing chemistry. I confronted her, and she said that she had never actually broken up with her ex and that I was just a fling."
18."I noticed on the phone bill that she was texting a certain number 600 times a month. It seemed familiar, and when I looked it up, it was one of my friends."
19."I found out my ex was cheating on me when she was at home visiting her parents. She booked an Airbnb while she was away using my account, and I got an email confirming the booking. Obviously, I thought it was weird, so I asked her why she was booking a place to stay when she was with her parents. It turned out she just didn't want her mum to figure out she was cheating on me with some guy she met online. Obviously, it was all my fault for checking my emails. I am happily married now and glad to have gotten out of that horrible relationship."
20."The other woman called my office on the day that we closed on our house. I didn't get the message until after the closing was done (not that I could've backed out at that point anyway)."
21."She was hiding her phone, had changes in behavior, and kept getting defensive when I questioned her about it. I'm very trusting, but my gut screamed at me that something was wrong. I looked through her phone one day and found she had been sharing explicit images/videos with a colleague for at least five months. All texts were deleted, but the images/videos were in her WhatsApp 'sent' folder, and the images/videos of him he sent her were in the 'received' folder. It was enough for me to file for divorce."
22."I hated HOW I found out, but I'm glad I found out. I went through her phone because she always wanted to go through mine. I see now it was a 'guilty conscience' thing. She thought, 'If I'm doing it, maybe he is too, and I can catch him, so HE'S in the wrong.' Sure enough, I found a very lengthy thread of messages between her and her ex, who had cheated on her."
23."I arrived at her place for a date just as two other guys arrived. I'm unsure if it was self-sabotage, poor time management, or her exasperated roommates set her up, but it was quite the scene."
24."She worked three or four days a week, so she went back home to see her family and visit her new nephew on the weekend. I worked at night on Fridays, so I didn't drive back with her. I locked my keys in my car at about 2:00 a.m., trying to leave work. She didn't answer her phone, so I had to call her parent's house to have them wake her up and see if she had the spare or if it was at our apartment. Her mom answered the phone and, when I asked for her, said she hadn't seen her in three weeks. I called her sister to see if she was staying there, and she said she hadn't seen her in a few weeks either. Both of them seemed very suspicious when I said she told me she had been staying with one of you every weekend for the last two months. We had been married for nine months at that point. She married that dude six days after our divorce was final."
25."I found a bag with sex toy packages and an empty bottle of Listerine hidden in the garage."
26."My fiancé was driving us home from a party and using her phone to navigate. I went to pick it up and check the directions, and she freaked out, saying I couldn't just use her phone without permission and that it was an invasion of privacy. I wasn't sure what to make of that until she left herself logged into Facebook on my desktop a couple of weeks later when I noticed messages from a guy I didn't recognize. If it hadn't been for the odd response in the car, I wouldn't have scrolled up through them and discovered that she'd been making plans to see him and lying to him about me abusing her for months. I was completely devastated, but I screenshotted everything in case she decided to deny it later."
"When I asked her friend about it, she said my fiancé had met the guy at a wedding they'd gone to in Vegas six months earlier and hooked up there. The friend had thought it was a one-time thing but wasn't surprised when I told her things had continued. We'd been together 16 years, and I never saw it coming."
27."He used my phone to cheat and then tried to ghost her. He told her he had surgery and then planned never to speak to her again. She called and asked for me because my name appeared on her caller ID when he called her. It went kind of like this: 'Hi, can I speak to [my name]?' 'This is she.' 'Oh, I'm just looking for [my husband's name]. I am worried about him.' 'Well, I'm his wife. Maybe you can tell me why you want to talk to him.' 'His wife???'"
28."I suspected she was cheating, so I catfished the guy I thought it was with and got him to confirm it. Then, I dumped her straight away."
29.And: "I caught my ex attempting to cheat but getting rejected. We were on a weekend trip trying to fix our relationship. We had some drinks, and then he went to sleep before me. His phone was blowing up, and I went to silence it since it kept me awake. I saw he'd been messaging this girl all night and confessed his love for her. She told him she wasn't interested, lol."
Have you ever caught your partner cheating on you? What happened? Tell us in the comments or share your story anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
