A little bit ago, people shared the most embarrassing thing their child has said or done in public. The stories were absolutely hilarious (you can check them out here), and even more people wanted to share stories of their little rascals.
So now, I present to you, not only parents, but bystanders, family members, and even babysitters sharing stories of embarrassing things they've witnessed kids do in public:
1."When my son was maybe 3, he, my mom, myself, and an aunt went to Applebee's. We got a dessert, and apparently, the spoon had just come out of the hot wash. When we gave my son a bite of the dessert, he said, 'HOT POON, HOT POON!' Funnier than shit in a bag."
2."My niece pronounced berries as beer. It was cute until she was out in public and having a tantrum because she wanted 'beer.'"
3."We ran into a close friend's parents at the grocery store. We stopped for some general chitchat. My son, just learning sentences, leans over and whispers to the mother, 'Help me.' I was mortified."
4."I was traveling for work last week, and my husband had some friends over while I was gone. When they came in, my daughter announced, 'My mom left' with no context. Apparently, it caused a bit of confusion."
5."On parents' night at my son’s preschool, his teacher was in the middle of reading a book to all the families as the children all sat quietly in front of her. My son stood up and announced loudly that when he has to go potty, his penis feels funny, so he doesn’t forget about it."
6."My almost 3-year-old draws attention to ANYONE in a store if they drop something. She’ll yell, 'What happened?!' Until the person acknowledges it, it’s mortifying."
7."My mom, sister, and I were at my grandparents' house, and my great aunts were visiting. One of them asked how we liked the cookies they had sent. My mom said they were delicious. My sister (I think she must have been 5 or so) pipes up with, 'No, you threw them out; you said they were burned.' My mom was so embarrassed."
8."My sister and I were very little at the grocery store with my eight-month-pregnant mom, who was pregnant with our twin brothers. We were only 5 and 3 ourselves. My 3-year-old sister had just learned how to 'goose' people by pinching their butt by my dad, and it was her favorite thing in the world — if you were bent over, you were not safe."
"Well, a teenager was stocking shelves, and, you guessed it, she 'goosed' him something fierce, but she disappeared around the corner, leaving my enormously pregnant mother standing there horrified and blaming an invisible child...classic."
9."When my daughter was around 3, we were standing in line at a restaurant, and a guy with only one arm was in front of us. She said, 'Look, Mom, he has an invisible arm!' The guy cracked up."
10."Back when the song was popular, my (then 4-year-old) niece stood up in church during the middle of a baptism, shouting, 'I'm sexy, and I know it,' then promptly sat back down again. She had no idea the meaning of the lyrics; she just liked the tune."
11."Oh man, my son did so many of these when he was younger. Now he’s 9, and he still says things like, 'We have mice in our house.' TO HIS PEDIATRICIAN. We have never had mice in this house. We had them in our garage, but it’s because we live next to hayfields and woods, and we set up traps for them. He makes it sound like we live in squalor."
12."Several years ago, I attended a funeral for the family member of a close friend. My friend has a niece who was maybe 3 at the time. Anyway, during the service, they began to play music, and this niece knew only one song, 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame,' which she began to sing as loudly as possible."
"She got to the part of '1, 2, 3 strikes you’re out' when her father picked her up and left the church. It was particularly funny because this was her third outburst, so it was indeed three strikes, and she was out."
13."I was once at a crowded theme park, waiting in a long bathroom line with a mom and maybe a 4- or 5-year-old girl, with a few people in front of me. A woman came out of a stall, and the mom told the little girl to go ahead, and she would be right outside the door."
14."My daughter was 5 when I took her to Target and said she could have a piece of candy from checkout if she behaved herself. She did so, and at checkout, she picked up a piece of candy when the lady behind her commented loudly on how spoiled kids are nowadays and how candy will rot your teeth."
"My daughter turned to her and said, ‘My mommy always told me if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. Did your mommy not teach you that? She should have.'"
15."We were at a zoo presentation about elephants where the elephants were splashing around in a pond. Another elephant joined them and promptly pooped in the water. My 4-year-old yelled out as loudly as possible, 'Bad elephant poopy in the bathtub!' It stopped the presentation so everyone could finish laughing as I just looked straight forward, pretending it wasn’t my kid. 🤣"
16."My son, when he was younger, was diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech. This meant, among other things, that he had difficulty saying certain words and sounds. One of which was that instead of pronouncing the 'f' in words properly, it would sound like a 'b.' Well, we went to this fish and chips place to eat one day."
"The owner was an avid fisherman and had tons of his catches and 'trophies' hanging on the walls. We walked in, and my son, who was 4 or 5 at the time, loudly proclaims, 'Mom, look at all these big bitches!' Oh, and this was on a Sunday, so this little place was full of little old ladies coming to eat after service."
17."The little boy I babysat was very excited that I was renting movies they could take home and watch with their daddy. As we were paying for them, he announced loudly that he was taking them home because his dad loved BOOBIES (his way of saying movies)! I’m so glad that I was met with clerks and other customers who had a sense of humor!"
18."When my daughter was about 2, we saw a teenage girl at the community pool who was wearing a beige bathing suit very close in color to her skin tone. My daughter asked me, 'Mama, why is that girl so naked?'"
"I said, 'Oh, no, she’s wearing a bathing suit,' and tried to redirect her. She looked at the girl and shouted, 'GIRL! Why are you SO NAKED?' The girl and her friends pointedly ignored us as we hightailed it to the other end of the pool."
19."My darling 2-year-old excitedly announced to the neighborhood gathering that the dog next door had nipples just like I, her mom, have. I wanted to melt into a hole in the ground!"
20."I was sitting in a restaurant with my 5-year-old along with my mother. We had been shopping, and I had a headache. I asked my mother for some aspirin, which she gave me. The restaurant was quiet, and my daughter, in a very loud voice, said, 'Are you taking drugs?' I was so embarrassed and had to explain that some medications were okay to use, like aspirin."
And finally, this poor kid had to learn a very hard lesson about the English language:
21."My husband and I were at a hardware store looking at new bathroom fixtures. Anyway, our 4-year-old daughter spotted a shower head that was a golden color and started yelling, 'Golden shower, I want a golden shower!'"
Want to share even more embarrassing things your child has said or done in public? Make sure to tell me your story in the comments!
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.