Older Adults Are Getting Brutally Honest About The Things You Have To Start Doing To Consider Yourself A "Real Adult"
If your 20s are for experimenting and growing, your 30s are a time to settle down into adulthood, and there are certain skills that should basically be required for "adulting." Redditor Abject_Analysis_8602 asked, "What’s a life skill everyone should know by the time they’re 30?" Here's what people said.
1."Conflict resolution. So many people haven't figured out that just because they feel hurt doesn't mean they are wronged. I'm not targeting you, Barbara; I just have some constructive criticism for your budgeting strategy."
2."Being able to ask for things you want. Simple. My wife and I will be at the grocery store. We need to get five feet down the aisle for something, but someone is blocking the aisle with their cart and body. She will get this disappointed look and suggest going all the way around the next aisle to get where we need to go. I always refuse and say, 'Watch this. Excuse me, ma'am, can we get by you real quick?' Bam, done."
3."Knowing how to purge clutter, decorate your living space, and organize all your stuff. I'm still struggling with this. I see my friend's houses and how much cleaner/organized their houses are, and I just can't understand it. Maybe I'm still fighting my inherited hoarder tendencies (thanks, Mom), but it's just, how does everyone not have clutter? How do I not have clutter?"
4."Basic investing. Even a tiny amount put aside can be a mighty thing over decades."
5."Household budgeting. My wife and I have had a budget pretty much since we moved together, and it makes it so incredibly easy to have proper oversight of all aspects of our joint economy..."
"...There's no arguing over money because when each paycheck comes, a set figure goes straight into the expense account, and a set figure goes into our joint grocery account. Our personal money is left, and I could not care less what she does with her own money and vice versa. We had dinner and drinks with a couple of friends some time ago, and the discussion went into household economics. They were baffled by the idea of us having a set budget, and after explaining it to them, they wanted one, too. It's just pulling up Excel or pen and paper, writing down everything you expect to pay for in a month, and adding a little extra for a buffer. It's a one-time job, and then if the mortgage rates go up, or you change the phone service or buy a new car or whatever, you just put in the new numbers. It's mind-blowingly easy!"
6."Listening. Everything doesn't have to be about you; you don’t have all the answers. Sometimes just listening to someone is all they need."
7."To do laundry, and do it properly. Clothing lasts longer when you follow the directions on the tag of the article... I've been doing my own laundry since I was ten, but I've only been doing it properly for the last handful of years. I'm not proud."
8."How to thank others when appropriate and apologize when appropriate."
9."Be ok with being alone. Many people keep toxic friendships or relationships going since they are afraid of being alone."
10."Saying no. Get really good at saying yes in your 20s. It opens many doors and teaches you to get outside your comfort zone to grow. By 30, be ruthless with your time and get good at saying no thoughtfully, politely, and firmly."
11."Addressing issues openly, especially in relationships. Don't let it fester and create resentment. My wife is incredibly good at this and helped me get comfortable speaking my mind. Former relationships conditioned me to think that talking equals arguing."
12."I know this sounds politically charged, but by 30, people should still be able to converse and be respectful while disagreeing. It's a common thing in this era for people to storm off and talk crap when they disagree. Blocking people, banning people, etc. The world has over six billion people in it. You can't assume that everyone should always agree with you."
13."Cooking basic meals. It's not just about impressing friends; it's essential for survival and saving money. Plus, nothing beats the satisfaction of not relying on takeout every night."
14."How to have uncomfortable conversations about feelings and defining boundaries. People who don’t have these skills cause more problems than they’re worth."
15."Knowing how to apologize. I’ve heard so many 'apologies' from people who are clearly still unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions."
16."Learning to take a deep breath when you are upset or angry and realize that other people have entire worlds, too, and we probably have no idea what most of them are carrying. The guy that cut you off in traffic? He's going to see his dying dad. Crabby waitress? She has a three-month-old and doesn't get much sleep, but she has to go to work to keep food on the table."
17."To drink responsibly. Or, if you can't drink responsibly, learn not to drink."
18."How to dress appropriately for the setting you're in. It still amazes me how many people show up to job interviews wearing wrinkled clothes or blue jeans."
19."How to write professional emails! I’m amazed at how many people older than me just cannot seem to get it."
What life skill should every "real adult" have mastered by the time they turn 30? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
