People Are Sharing The Exact Moment They Realized Their Partner Was Not "The One"

If you've ever had to break off a relationship, then you know that it usually happens because you have a moment where you realize that there is no saving this relationship and you want out.

A torn photograph of a smiling couple, each with one arm around the other. The tear separates the image vertically between them
Jamie Grill / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

Recently, Reddit user Sshmiff wanted to know about those moments when they asked: "When did you realize that your partner was not, in fact, 'the one'?"

Two women arguing in a bedroom, one sitting on a bed with a frustrated expression, the other standing holding clothes
Drazen Zigic / Getty Images

The thread went viral and got over 3.7K comments. Below are some of the top and best responses:

1."I woke up one day, and really asked myself: 'Can I live like this the rest of my life?' I felt like a babysitter, a maid, and a mother all into one before I ever felt like a girlfriend. I took on all the responsibilities of doing simple chores and cleaning. Like cleaning piss off the toilet seat from him and his friends or asking him to take the garbage out (when you can clearly see it needs to be taken out). Then, he would get upset when I wasn’t in the mood to be intimate. There’s loads more, but that’s one of the biggest issues I had."

"I felt disrespected, used, and like I wasn’t his equal. I’m in a happy relationship now. He helps me. We cook meals, eat together, and clean together. It just puts into perspective how terrible my past relationship was. I'm finally happy."


2."When she introduced me to her rich ex-boyfriend. Which then led her to reveal to me that she had actually sent him nudes during their prior relationship. I didn't mind, though. He was her boyfriend before me, after all. Their past was their past, and I was actually glad she trusted me with that information. Then I asked her why I hadn't gotten something like that yet, and the answer was, 'Well, maybe if you could afford me nice gifts, I'd have sent you something by now.' Boy, did I IMMEDIATELY realize she was not the one."


3."I dated this guy throughout high school, and he wanted to get married the moment I turned 18. We honestly had a real love for each other, but I was already reticent to get married that young and wanted to graduate college first."

"His best friends got married when they were 18/19-ish, and because he was in the bridal party I sat alone and just had a jolt of panic run through me during the ceremony. I didn't want my life to be that way. I didn't want to get married the moment I stopped being a child, the immediately have children, and stay in my hometown forever. All my romantic love for him vanished because I realized he was trying to guilt me into having a life I didn't want so he could have the life he wanted.

It took a while for me to manage breaking up with him, but I knew I needed to from that moment."


A woman with long hair wearing a sleeveless top and jewelry rests her chin on her hand, looking thoughtful in an elegant indoor setting
Nicoletaionescu / Getty Images/iStockphoto

4."When I felt a sense of dread when coming home to her. Or when I was at home and she was coming home to me, wondering what triviality she would be angry about this time."


5."I woke up next to him. Suddenly, I realized reality. It had been 17 years of me working hard and him justifying hardly ever working. I nudged him and said (bravely), 'I want a divorce. We can talk about the details in the morning.'"


6."When she saw no issue with the fact that she would be texting her ex-husband (now current husband, if that makes things clear), giving him emotional support — particularly when we were watching TV together or driving to a restaurant for date night. Her excuse, 'I still consider him my best friend (she may have said one of my best friends), and I don't think there is anything wrong with talking to a friend.' Five years later, we divorced and she remarried him nine months after that."


A couple, unnamed woman smiling at her phone while lying in bed, and an unnamed man looking over her shoulder suspiciously, both wearing casual clothes
Blackcat / Getty Images

7."When I celebrated their growth, but they were angry at mine."


8."When I found out that one of my close friends had suddenly died and I burst into tears, to which he said, 'What are you insecure about this time?' And when I said I just found out my friend died, he turned around and walked out of the room. The next day, I was talking to his mum about it in the kitchen, and she was comforting me, to which he again said, 'Can you stop being insecure?' and his mum practically tore him in half with words."

"I left him soon after, and I'm now in a very happy and healthy relationship with someone who also helps navigate my grief with me.I miss his parents sometimes though; they were lovely people and deserved a better son than him."


9."When I went to the airport to pick her up, flowers in hand, and stood there until the last of the luggage had been picked up before I realized she hadn't even gotten on the plane."


A man in a modern, spacious indoor setting looks upwards while holding a smartphone and a parcel. The background shows large windows and structural beams
Whitebalance.oatt / Getty Images

10."When he decided to cheat on me while I was dealing with my brother's recent suicide."


11."There was a picture she painted of me years ago that hung on our wall. It was beautiful and was like a whole bunch of blue triangles that made out my face, and it's my favorite thing of me that's ever existed. Then one day, after a couple of bad years, she got into a relatively speaking small argument with me over something and started freaking out, tore the painting off the wall, and destroyed it. The argument was so pointless I couldn't even remember what it was about a week later."

"I know it sounds dumb, but when she painted that for me at the beginning of our relationship, it meant everything to me. After multiple awful years, that was when I knew things could never go back, and that painting and image I had of myself and our love and relationship would forever be broken and unfixable."


12."She hated when I wasn’t with her, and she wasn’t happy when I was."


A woman, looking pensive, sits on a couch with her hand on her chin; a man sits in the background, facing away, suggesting they might be in the middle of a disagreement
Peopleimages / Getty Images

13."Man, I have lived with this for like a year and damn. I think she got addicted to the security of having me around but didn't actually like me. It was the most traumatic breakup I've ever lived through, but it was the best relationship decision I have ever made."


14."When I realized that every time she went away for an extended time, instead of missing her, I was excited that I got to have some alone time and do stuff with my friends instead of her."


15."When he'd rather follow what his parents would say to him. He always needed his parents for simple decision-making. I, too, have a good relationship with my parents, but I grew up independently. I wouldn't run to my parents if I can solve the problem myself."


Two men are sitting and having a deep conversation in a brightly lit room with large windows. One man gestures as he speaks
G-stockstudio / Getty Images/iStockphoto

16."When I realized the idea of marrying him one day secretly disappointed me."


17."When he couldn't even name ONE thing that he liked about me after four years of him constantly asking for reassurance from my end. I don't know how I stayed for so long in the relationship, constantly begging for him to actually like me even when we were together."


18."When I got an STI after 12 years of marriage and was faithful to her the entire time. It went away after a week of antibiotics. But I became a different person that day. I don’t know if I like who I am now."


A hand is holding a Chlamydia PCR testing kit with a swab and test tube. The test form includes fields for routine and urgent testing and various sample types
Rodolfo Parulan Jr. / Getty Images

19."When he picked me up from the airport after a few weeks trip, I was so excited to see him, and he didn’t even get out of the car. He just shouted at me to hurry up and get in because he didn’t want to pay for parking. Didn’t even hug me."


20."We never had an 'okay day.' We had amazing days and awful days. Never just a nice, okay one. Think of always manic or always depressed, with no breaks. It was tough, but I had to break off."


21."Hadn't had sex in over six months. So, decided to go down on her when we woke up to rekindle the spark out whatever. She didn't move. I looked up and asked what was wrong and she started crying. Finally admitted to my suspicions. After eight years together and a move across the country to chase our dreams, she had been cheating on me for months with her boss's son. Straight up had a boyfriend behind my back."


A man and a woman are in bed. The woman, lying on her side, looks upset while the man sitting beside her appears concerned, placing a hand on her shoulder
Gilaxia / Getty Images

22."I was going with him to my friend's destination wedding. While getting ready with my friend, I curled my hair and asked them if it looked good. My gal friend said, 'Oh, you missed a piece right here,' and helped me get it done with the rest. He immediately groaned and said, 'Ugh, why’d you tell her??? We could have made fun of her together!' Something about his joy at the thought of embarrassing me in front of my friends really just made me realize what a true asshole he was. I broke up with him as soon as we got back home."


23."She was away for college when suddenly she stopped responding to my calls and texts. Turns out she got pregnant by someone else. I had been with her for five years."


24."When I caught her in bed with my brother"


25.And lastly, "This isn’t a sad or dramatic one: We had a really good girlfriend and boyfriend type relationship, but when shit got real and long-term commitment (marriage, buying a house, having a baby) peered over the horizon, we both freaked out and bailed. Catalyst was my mate’s wedding towards the end of the relationship, and I was embarrassed at how lairy and drunk she was being. She was annoyed that I was being no fun and wouldn’t dance (there was no one else on the dancefloor!)."

"We’re still friends now. My wife is nothing like my ex, and my ex’s new partner is nothing like me. Everyone involved made the correct decision."


Group of four friends, two men and two women, laughing and enjoying coffee together at a cafe table
Jacoblund / Getty Images/iStockphoto

You can read the original thread on Reddit.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.