19 Heartbreaking Stories About How People Discovered Their Marriage Was Coming To An End For Good

Breaking up is hard to do, even more so when you're married.

We recently asked people in the BuzzFeed Community to share how their exes told them they wanted a divorce. Here are their heartbreaking stories:

1."We were about to adopt a cat. While we were parked outside the rescue agency he told me he wanted to move out and get a divorce. I did cry, but got the cat anyway."

2."After 24 years in a pretty harmonious marriage, he told me, 'I don't love you anymore. You eat cookies and ice cream and dye your hair.' I immediately responded, 'Wow, you must hate me,' because I sincerely thought it was a joke! No, not a joke. That's how it ended. Mind you, it wasn't like I was overweight and I thought I was being frugal not paying over $300 for my long, thick hair to be done in a salon?!"

—Anonymous

3."She just moved out and we never actually had a breakup talk. I didn't talk to her for three years and then I filed the paperwork to move on. Best thing I ever did."

4."He falsely accused me of having an affair to ease his guilt of leaving."

—Anonymous

5."I was at the vet with the dog and he asked me when I was coming home. When I got home, he was there with his coat on and said I can't do this anymore so he just left. We had only been married six months and I never did get a proper reason for it."

6."We were in a polyamorous relationship for a year with another couple. I got a call from the other husband that my wife was leaving me for him. He also broke the news to his wife through text. They decided they didn't want to be parents anymore and left me and the other wife with the kids. We have all since divorced and remarried each other. It was the best thing that could have happened to me and my new wife and combined family."

—Shania Twinners

7."His mother passed away suddenly six months before. He was a self-proclaimed mama's boy and I was very young and thought he was a nice guy. He called me at my new job telling me to come home right away. I got there to see a moving van filled with the best of our possessions, even wedding gifts from my family. He charged two steel guitars on our joint credit card and emptied both of our joint bank accounts leaving a dollar in each. I also got stuck paying his taxes that year. Several friends were at the house when I arrived. They were as confused as I was; they assumed he had talked to me. His reason for the sudden end to our marriage? He was going out in the world to become a famous guitar player. Instead, he had four more failed marriages. After he left, his father came by and said he wished he could divorce his son and keep me in the family. I was close to his sisters and never got to say goodbye."

8."My husband of five years (we were together for 15 total) told me he was not moving with me to the U.S. after a year of me living here and buying a house for us. Come to find out, he had a girlfriend pretty much the whole time I was working my ass off to provide a better future for us. This arrangement was agreed upon after much discussion and weighing the pros and cons. He would stay in the other country with our dogs until I was established and could bring them. He kept the dogs and was upset when I stopped sending him money to help with their expenses. It sucks for him, he's now living in his parents' house and has nothing to his name. I, on the other hand, got my house, a new husband, and a new life, so it was a win-win for me. I do miss my dogs though."

—Anonymous from North Carolina

9."My wife and I dated in college. We were married when I finished my master's degree and she completed her college career. One weekend, two years into our marriage, we were scheduled to go to her parents' home for a barbecue. A friend at work brought me some fresh blueberries from her country house. My wife said she was working late Friday, so I spent the evening making a homemade blueberry pie for the family barbecue. The family party went well, and everyone enjoyed the pie. On the train back from the suburbs to the city, my wife told me she fell in love with someone at her job but still loved me. She was 'working late' with him for quite a while. I told her I'd make her choice for her and thought she should leave. She was pleased as could be. During our divorce, she told me this guy wasn't the only person she had been 'working late' with since we were married."

10."When we were married, my ex had a drunken meltdown while my 12-year-old was present. I had to move out so she and I could get our own place. He and I tried working on our relationship while living apart. When my child wanted to live with me full-time, it was clear I needed to focus on parenting only, as he hadn't become healthy enough to be a stepparent. He called me on our wedding anniversary to call it off. We ended our marriage over the phone."

—wickedowl243

11."I woke up one morning to see all his stuff gone and him about to walk out the door. This was after almost nine years of marriage and while my mom was actively dying. He refused to have an adult conversation and we haven't seen each other since. I know he was dealing with some mental health issues, but I was not expecting THAT. Needless to say, we are not on friendly terms."

12."I came home from work one day to walk my dogs. My husband was on the couch drinking. Apparently, his side piece was hiding in the kitchen. She attacked me with a knife. I did more damage to her with my bare hands. He went after her to check on her."

—Rizzo from Kansas

13."She told me she was taking our son to her parents' house for the weekend and then called and left an emotionless voicemail telling me the papers were arriving the next day. Heartless..."

14."He didn't explicitly tell me but ghosted me. He left in the middle of the night and didn't communicate with me, friends, or family for three days. I thought he was dead in a ditch somewhere, so I eventually tried tracing our bank accounts to find he had taken $100k from our savings. Even the bank wouldn't tell me what had happened. In hindsight, I think he was having a bit of a breakdown and got too deep with his pride and giant ego, resulting in a messy, unkind divorce. Luckily, that life chapter is closed with many lessons learned."

—Anonymous

15."My husband had been a little distracted and emotionally absent for a few months when he decided to take a bucket list trip to Mount Rushmore on his motorcycle from Texas. I had just started a new job and couldn't go with him. He hardly called or texted while he was gone, which was a little unusual for him, but I just chalked it up to him being on his bike. After he got there and spent a day or two, he called to tell me he was going to New York to spend some time with his family. Wow, that one DID come as a shocker. Again, I had hardly any correspondence from him. After being gone for two weeks, he took his merry sweet time on the way home, to the extent that I worried something had happened to him."

16."We sat on separate couches in the living room after I put the kids to bed. He said he got a job two hours away from our house and was going to live with his mom. He then trailed off to let me fill in the rest of his leaving me. After I asked, 'What about the dog?' he said he could stay with me for now. It was his dog, and I still have him eight years later. That was all on a Tuesday night. He left early for work Thursday and drove straight to his mom's house with what he could fit in his truck."

—Anonymous

17."He sat me down the day I lost my job and said, 'I want a divorce.' I asked him why, and he said, 'Because I just do.' I never really got much of an answer besides that. Two years later, I'm thriving, and who the hell knows or cares what he's up to."

18."The jerk was ignoring me as if I didn't exist. He was doing that because he wanted me to ask for the divorce, that way the narcissist came out looking like the victim."

—Lia from California

19."I found out he wanted a divorce when I was served with divorce papers at home one evening by a process server. Turns out that was the best paperwork I’ve ever gotten."

How did you find out you were getting divorced? Share your story in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.