This Woman Just Found Out That Her Husband Has Been Purposely Tightening All Of Her Jar Lids For The Last Five Years. Now, She's Divorcing Him For Gaslighting Her

This has to be the most unique relationship story I've ever come across on the AITA subreddit, and it took me on a rollercoaster ride.

A user, DirectionProper9461, is questioning her recent decision to file for divorce from her husband, who repeatedly tightened all of the jar lids in their kitchen to the point that she could never open anything.

Here's the full story: "His over tightening jar lids have been an issue since he was just visiting at my house when we were dating. First, it started with just things he used, and then over time, it became every damn glass jar with a metal lid. He'd tighten them so much I couldn't open them without assistance."

"It wasn't a huge deal if he was there, but if I was alone, it was so annoying. More times than I can count, I've opened a new jar of something because I couldn't get the jar open."

"It's been a recurring cycle over the past five years. It's just a thing that would escalate until I had a major meltdown and freaked out, screaming, frustrated, and seemingly crazy because it's just a lid. Then, it would get better for a while, and then it would slowly become an issue again. It was just getting worse and worse until I reached a breaking point again. Sometimes, I literally feel insane for being so upset over jar lids."

"He initially claimed that he did it to 'keep food fresh'. After many arguments about it, I insisted that I don't believe it keeps anything fresh, and even if it does make things last longer, I don't care if it means I can't eat my freaking food when I want. I'll just replace things that go bad because they are closed normally. Then the excuse was that 'it's a habit.'"

(Now here's where the story takes a HARD left turn.)

"So, about a month ago, my husband had a family emergency and had to travel out of state for 10 days. The first day he's gone, I discover a jar I can't open. I was annoyed and was going to the store to buy new pickles when the neighbor said hi and to let him know if I needed anything while he was out of town."

"I said wait here and got the jar, which he opened. The next day, I saw him outside and asked him to open another jar. He offered to come open all the jars. I agreed, and he came in, and he went to the fridge and opened all the jars except 2, which he couldn't open."

"I thanked him profusely and told him I'd bake some of his favorite cookies later in the week. He laughed and said it was no big deal, and after confirming that I wouldn't be upset if the remaining two jars were destroyed in his attempt to open them, he took them home to his garage to open them one way or another."

"He said that he's heard me screaming about over-tightened jar lids a few times over the years, and he's really pondered if I was crazy or if my husband was really over-tightening the jar lids."

"He said you know this was intentional. It was every jar, and I'm sure he doesn't regularly use hot pepper paste or mango puree or any of your other fancy cooking stuff. Then he held up the two jars he couldn't open and said, 'I don't know why he's doing it, but it wasn't an accident.'"

"After he left, I locked the door, sat on my kitchen floor, and cried. Then, I felt hot and lightheaded. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack. I thought about calling an ambulance but sat back on my kitchen floor instead."

"Later, the neighbor came back with the opened jar of hot fudge and apologized that he couldn't save the figs. He said he broke the jar, trying to get it open. He also apologized for what he said about my husband doing it on purpose. I assured him it was okay."

"I couldn't sleep that night. Tossed and turned all night. I called out of work. By 10 a.m., I realized that I couldn't stay married anymore, and I made an appointment with a lawyer for the next day."

"There are literally no other issues, no cheating, no abuse, we had a good sex life, both have good jobs, nice house, no financial issues. He was absolutely blindsided when he came home, and I told him I wanted a divorce."

"He still won't admit that he tightened the lids on purpose. He suggested we go to marriage counseling, but I refused. There is no point. I just literally can't get past the god damned jar lids. I still feel a little bit crazy about that. I have no idea why he would tighten every jar lid so tightly that I couldn't open it. He has given me no reason. He still won't even admit that he did it on purpose. But the hot pepper paste is in the back of the fridge. I use it only when I make Indian food. It's behind other things. He's never used it. It's nothing you could put in food without cooking it. The pepper paste could not have been an accident. It couldn't. Maybe he put mango puree on his toast or in his oatmeal, but the pepper paste couldn't have been an accident."

"That's what my life comes down to. I'm getting a divorce because the lid of my hot pepper paste was over-tightened. If it had been every jar except that one, I could try. I could have a sliver of doubt. I could do something else, but I just can't get past the hot pepper paste. Most of our friends and families either think I'm crazy or an asshole. What do you think?"

Many people in the comments were on the original poster's (OP's) side, saying that she wasn't the asshole for leaving.

"Not the asshole. Your husband has spent five years deliberately making your life harder in tiny ways and then lying to your face to make you think you are crazy," user Open-Incident_3601 wrote.

"No, you're not getting a divorce because of jar lids; you're getting a divorce because your husband is gaslighting you for sport," user Garden_gnome1609 agreed.

"OP, before you move out, buy his favorite jar of foods and super glue all the lids," user JayNow wrote.

This person shared a similar experience with their ex-husband:

"My ex told me he just didn't hear our two babies when they woke at night. Too tired, just didn't hear them. I believed him. When the younger kid was 3, the ex told me he'd lied! Smiled about it. 'I knew you'd get up! Of course, I heard every time.' Divorced him six months later," user luckyartie wrote.

Other users completely disagreed and felt the original poster was being a "narcissist."

"OP should buy a lid-gripper and go to counseling to get her narcissism under control. Divorce your man so he can find someone who's not going to divorce them over fucking lids," Feisty_Efficiency778 wrote.

"Damn, women will divorce over anything, you can have a perfect life, but he over-tightened the jars, and it is ground for divorce. She could go on Amazon and buy a jar opener, but she opted for divorce," user Own-Tank5998.

Personally, I feel that the divorce is 100% justified, but I want to know what you think. Let us know in the comments below.