People Confessed The Most Eye-Opening Things Their Therapists Said, And It'll Blow You Away
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the best thing a therapist has ever said to them.
Thankfully, there are some stellar professionals out there who've given people life-changing tips and advice on how to live their best lives.
So, here are some of the most eye-opening things therapists have ever said to their patients:
Warning: Some submissions include topics of domestic abuse and suicide.
Note: There isn't one "typical" therapy experience. Everyone's stories are different, and if it hasn't worked for some, that doesn't mean it hasn't worked for others.
1."Hearing negative messages from my family about my sexual orientation and religious views messed me up badly. My therapist said that they won't correct the wrong, but I can change the way it impacts me by learning radical acceptance, unconditional love for myself, and healthy boundaries. She also said, 'You are fucking precious — period. No matter what they say or do to you, you are wonderful, and you have the right to exist.'"
2."I'm someone who always puts what makes me happy on the back burner. My therapist looked at me and literally said, 'Fuck shit up.' She told me to do whatever I wanted because no matter what the reactions would be, it'd be MY mess I created with my own free will."
3."I often struggle with feelings of guilt due to PTSD and anxiety, so I apologize excessively. My therapist told me to replace 'sorry' with 'thank you.' So instead of telling people, 'Sorry, I'm having a stressed-out day," I say, 'Thank you for being supportive of me.'"
4."Remember that emotional intelligence and skills — such as resilience and compassion — are no different from any other forms of knowledge. They aren't traits you're born with or not. They all take practice, and you have to actively involve yourself in the learning process."
—zkye
5."My ex-husband broke his hand throwing his fist through a wall and told me to 'be grateful it wasn't my face.' My therapist, who was an absolute gem and truly saved me in getting out of the marriage, told me, 'You do not owe anyone the story unless you want to share it. But you will *not* lie for him. When people see him in a cast and ask what happened, you look them in the eye and say, 'You can ask him about that.' It helped me keep my dignity without feeling the need to tell anyone about my abuse unless I trusted them. I don't know if I could've forgiven myself as quickly if I'd helped him hide his abuse with outright lies. She was truly incredible."
6."My therapist said, 'My brain is only there to keep me alive, but not keep me happy.' I had to do a lot of work to be happy, and it's a choice every day. Whenever I have a bad thought, I stop and say that was my first thought, my second is how I'm going to be to the world, which is the choice to be positive."
7."'Your relationship with your mother isn’t as good as you think it is. It is okay to be angry and hurt, even though she protected you from your abusive father. You are not a bad son.' I haven’t had a suicide attempt since I have faced that. When I went back and looked at my journals around my prior suicide attempts, I noticed they all centered around feeling abandoned by my mother."
8."When I came out as a lesbian demigirl to my current therapist, she was super supportive. She even said she wanted to update my forms to include gender, sexuality, and pronouns!"
9."I struggle with social anxiety/generalized anxiety disorder, and one piece of advice that helped me was: 'How often do you go to bed thinking about someone’s outfit from the grocery store or their hairstyle? Probably not often, so why would someone lie in bed thinking about your jeans or shirt fitting a little too tight that day?' This helped me realize that most people aren’t paying that close attention to me. People may look at me, but most likely will forget all about me by the end of the day."
10."Using the word 'always' can be dangerous. Telling someone that you'll 'ALWAYS be there for them' can interfere with your well-being and can unintentionally open you up to emotional issues you don't necessarily need or want to deal with. Setting boundaries is key, and true friends will understand when you mentally cannot be there for them all the time."
11."My new therapist made me cry [in a good way] because she quoted Hamilton after I told her how poorly I think of myself. She said, 'Look at where you are and look at where you started. The fact that you're alive is a miracle. Stay alive, and that will be enough.' It was a good cry."
12."My therapist told me that my self-doubt is a reflection of my own parent’s fear. Hearing that put my whole life into perspective."
13."My therapist told me it's easy to look back with the experience I have now and express what I would've done differently, but at the time, I was working with the knowledge I had then. So I shouldn't be angry with myself for making the decisions I did based on the information I had — it's helped me go a long way toward forgiving myself and healing."
14."Don't let the potential thoughts of others affect your actions or the way you feel about yourself. It really helped me to stop worrying about what other people think, mostly because they're probably not thinking of the things I'm so worried about. It's taken a long time for me to really start taking this to heart, but I've been a lot happier since."
15."The best thing my therapist told me is that it is okay to not forgive someone for hurting me. I was being pushed into forgiving and interacting with someone who sexually abused me, and the guilt was killing me until my therapist said that. It gave me the confidence to push back and stand up for myself."
16."I go to therapy and during one session, we talked about my crippling social anxiety. She said that if I ever feel like I need to leave an event, just to do it. If those people don't understand, then I shouldn't be their friend."
17."You're supposed to be sad sometimes. It's a natural human emotion that everyone experiences. Sadness becomes a problem only when it pushes every other emotion out. It blew my mind more than I'd like to admit."
18."A therapist asked me what I wanted to get out of therapy, and I replied, 'I finally want to be happy and stay happy.' She told me, 'Happiness is like putting clean sheets on your bed. The only way to enjoy it is to be in it, but that also means you need to rewash them. Achieving happiness isn’t about staying happy — it’s understanding how to get there again and again after everything gets dirty.' My mind was blown."
19.And, "My therapist is amazing, and there are so many things she has told me that I carry with me every day. But the one that I live by every day is, 'Don’t always look at how far you have to go — take time to reflect on how far you have come.' It helps my anxiety and reminds me of the triumphs I have had even in the lowest of times."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
