People With ADHD Are Sharing The Things They Thought Were "Normal" Until A Neurotypical Person Told Them Otherwise
If you have ADHD, you know that the symptoms can range from classic to complicated. You might be well-acquainted with common symptoms like hyperfocus or difficulty getting on task, but even for people who've been diagnosed for what seems like forever, there are still some symptoms you might not realize are symptoms for years.
Sad woman ready to sign a contract complaining at home
Sometimes, distinguishing what's just a 'normal human thing' vs. a symptom of ADHD can be difficult for people! So, I decided to ask people with ADHD to tell me everything they assumed was "normal" until a neurotypical person told them otherwise! Here are some of their best answers:
1."Lateness. Ironically, I’m much more timely now that I know that ADHD is the reason I struggle to be on time."
"I spent years half-believing the incredibly unkind take that late people just don’t value others’ time, even when I knew I did value others’ time, even more than my own.
But it turns out that when you’re incredibly stressed about something you’ve caught flack for repeatedly, it makes you avoidant, and when that thing is staying on a schedule…let me tell you, it is very difficult to stay on a schedule when staying on a schedule is the thing about which you’re too avoidant to be able to think about it repeatedly."
2."If I'm organically interested in something, I have no trouble concentrating on it, but if I’m not, the only thing that enables me to get it done is extreme panic."
"So, taxes? Always late. Laundry? Only done when I am down to one pair of clean underwear. Being that anxious about that many things that much of the time is exhausting, so I never feel rested, because there’s always something important I’m procrastinating on.
Wanting to want to do it doesn’t help. I can believe something is important all day long, but if it hasn’t grabbed my attention, it’s like I’m on the other side of a foot-thick glass wall from it."
3."Needing music to start ANY mundane task. Homework, work-work, housework, etc. I always thought it was because I just really like music. Turns out, the music gave my brain a dopamine boost to get started and keep going."
"Also, the constant thoughts. The first time I took meds for my ADHD, I ran to my kids and asked if they constantly heard running thoughts. Of course, they said yes because they have ADHD too. Like me, they were shocked when they started meds and the thoughts went quiet. It doesn’t happen as noticeably now.
Lastly, my procrastination. As a middle-aged woman, I always felt like a failure because I couldn’t just sit down and get shit done. I was always working late because things were always due tomorrow. Turns out, ADHD.
I wasn’t diagnosed until my son was 10. He was only diagnosed because when he was homeschooled during COVID, I would speak to him, ask him to repeat it back, and he had NO IDEA what I said. Thought it was APD. It was ADHD, inattentive type. Teachers never noticed/cared because he wasn’t disruptive."
4."Losing my train of thought in the middle of a conversation when I'm the one talking. No disruptions or anything, just literally stopping and saying, 'What was I talking about again?'"
5."I just assumed that everyone everywhere missed appointments from time to time. Evidently, that's not the case."
6."Sensory overload."
"If more than two or three of my senses are overactive at the same time, the room will feel like it’s starting to tilt or spin, and my mind turns fuzzy, and my body feels like I have something brushing against my skin. I instantly have to get to a quiet, darker space to reset myself."
7."Before I was diagnosed (as a woman at 36), a coworker was walking with me in the hallway and asked where I was headed. (I’m a teacher)."
"I said, 'Well, I really have to go to the bathroom, but before I can do that, I’m going to drop off this paperwork, go meet with this person, and go sign this other thing.' He said, 'Dude, that’s ADHD…just go pee!' (I also didn’t realize we tend to include extra details.)"
8."Drumming and tapping on EVERYTHING! I have done it my whole life and when I started school I was told off for 'disturbing the lesson.'"
9."I thought everyone tuned out the moment something a person said didn’t make sense or was boring. It was totally normal for me to tune out half a lecture in school."
10."I thought it was normal to really embody the saying 'out of sight, out of mind' literally."
"It really hurt me during my school days since I’d forget about assignments as soon as I left each class and would struggle all through school until I was diagnosed in college.
College with medication was way easier. Now my ability to forget things helps tremendously in my work/life balance. When I leave work, I forget everything that happens there and I go about my evenings and weekends blissfully unaware of all work stress."
11."Drinking a massive coffee at 11 p.m. and then being able to sleep — and stay asleep — afterward."
Dontree_m / Getty Images, Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
"A friend of mine was like, 'How can you drink coffee this late? I would be up until 4 a.m.' I was like, 'What do you mean? Can you not just drink a venti latte and then pass out right after?'
She was like, '…No. That’s not normal.'
Obviously, I was then diagnosed and realized I was 'self-medicating' unintentionally with caffeine."
12."Constantly and accidentally interrupting people."
"I of course immediately apologize and let them continue. I was always worried about being seen as rude until I got diagnosed and found out that it was a symptom."
13."I didn't realize you could develop ADHD as an adult."
"As a kid, I didn't have the constant barrage of thoughts, any need for background noise, and I never got overwhelmed when there were too many people around. It really messed with me when, as an adult, I couldn't understand why my brain wasn't working the way I was used to."
14."Having a song or tune in my head ALL. THE. TIME. Sometimes it’s even just the same chorus or section over and over and over and I often catch myself whistling whatever it is without realizing."
15."Finishing people’s sentences. I thought this was something that only happened when you were really close with someone and could guess what they’d say next."
HBO / Via giphy.com
"I do this with complete strangers, though, and sometimes don’t realize it 'til the conversation is well over. Apparently, this is related to the impulsive side of ADHD. Overactive thinking."
16."I used to get really anxious and emotional in loud or stressful environments as a kid, and just got called 'too sensitive' or 'dramatic.'"
"Turns out I was experiencing overstimulation, and now, as an adult, I've learned when I’m reaching a point where I need to remove myself from the situation to decompress."
17."Three words: rejection sensitive dysphoria."
"I had no idea that not everyone feels this level of physical pain and intense sadness and anger from any degree of criticism or rejection."
18."I always thought everyone just had thoughts running through their head all day. My brain is never quiet and it’s like I have a million tabs open all the time."
"It was only when I took my first Adderall and my brain went silent for the first that I understood how other people experience the world. I remember calling my mom and telling her that my brain was silent for the first time and being so overwhelmed with the feeling of quiet that I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I then understood that I'd had to work twice as hard to focus and stay engaged than my neurotypical peers because they didn’t have a constant barrage of random information competing for attention at all hours of the day."
19."When I was younger, I always thought I felt feelings more intensely than other people because things that made other people mad would make me irate."
Pop TV / CBC Television / Via giphy.com
"Where something was sad for one person, I’d be bawling. Emotional regulation is something I have had to train myself to do as an adult after getting diagnosed with ADHD.
Time blindness is another one that I really struggled with my entire life. I’d been written up so many times for being late and still struggle with it into my 30s!"
20."Non-hyperactive type manifests very differently than hyperactive types, and even more so in women."
"There are so many behaviors I exhibited prior to treatment that I never thought were related to this condition.
One primary example is becoming overwhelmed to the point of emotional paralysis. If I had a to-do list that was longer than three to four things, I used to shut down. And I would constantly have people berating me for it as if it was a choice."
It wasn’t until my diagnosis and medicinal treatment that I realized shutting down was a legitimate neurological response that I could not control."
"Even now, being medicated, I still purposely keep my to-do lists short. It helps me stay focused and positive, and lowers my anxiety surrounding particularly challenging tasks.
As a teacher, I also do this with my kids who show signs of the condition. It feels nice to be able to pass on these tips to help my middle schoolers be more successful."
21."I need to write down everything or put it in a calendar or even write lists to do simple things like laundry, or I'll forget."
"Forgetting homework often made me fall behind or fail classes because I could only remember homework for one or two classes and I'd forget the rest."
22."Having a clock in every single room, even the bathrooms, plus always wearing a watch, all so I don’t lose track of time and end up being late."
23."Having childlike energy as an adult. I used to think everyone around me was just tired and I was energetic until it dawned on me that part of the reason they're exhausted is because of me."
New Line Cinema, FilmFlex / Via giphy.com
"I literally asked myself, 'Holy crap...am I annoying?'"
24.And finally: "Being incapable of doing large amounts of work at once! I assumed that I was just lazy or didn’t have the grit for it."
"I entirely believed that concentrating for long periods was a skill people learned (which it sort of is), like spelling or math, one that I had just never been good enough for.
I’d always hear my friends in school talk about how they spent hours studying the night before, when I hadn’t been able to do half an hour, and I just figured I didn’t have the mettle. Now that I’m medicated and understand executive dysfunction, I know that’s not what it was!"
Fascinating. If you relate, let me know down below! I want to hear all about it.
Or, if you want to write in but prefer to stay anonymous, you can check out this anonymous Google form.
Note: some comments have been edited for length and/or clarity.
