19 Parents Share The "Secrets" Their Kids Are Hiding From Them, And They Are Hilarious, Weird, And Wholesome
Recently, Reddit user u/random_guy314 posed the question: "Parents, what secrets do your children think they are hiding from you?"
Here are some of the funniest, weirdest, and most wholesome secrets:
1."I know that my 10-year-old writes long letters professing his love to a girl in his class but never gives them to her and throws them in the trash."
2."My 5-year-old daughter has a stash of snacks inside of a cat tree. The cats usually end up dragging them out and then I overhear her scolding the cats. I let this go on because 1) it's hilarious, and 2) it's nothing I haven't already given her."
3."Mine is still little enough to be very, very bad at hiding things. The other day he asked for a toffee. I said no. He went and got a toffee from the kitchen counter, 'hid' under the kitchen table, loudly unwrapped it, and when I still didn't react, he said, 'I'm eating a toffee!'"
4."My daughter thinks she 'gets away' with reading when she should be asleep. The fact that I have such a large book expenditure each month is also a dead giveaway."
5."I was talking to my dad about getting away with stuff when I was a kid and said, 'You never knew that I would stay up reading every night with my flashlight.' He got an amused look on his face and responded, 'You did that for years and never changed the batteries in that flashlight, did you?' That's when I realized he knew and had been changing the flashlight batteries the whole time."
6."Right now, my 10-year-old is supposed to be asleep. Instead, she's laying in bed searching for 'Zoro with his shirt off' and composing a folder with the pics. She has completely forgotten that we share a Google account."
7."My daughter's bike was lost/stolen after she left it at the bus stop. After a few days of looking, she had given up on finding it. She was crushed, and I couldn't take it. I picked up an identical bike, I took the training wheels off just like the first one. When I got home I tried to pass it off that I found her bike. A couple of days later she told my wife, that she knew it wasn't her bike, but she didn't want to make me sad by telling me she knew. I know that my daughter knows my secret, but is keeping it a secret from me."
8."My six-year-old locks the bathroom door so he can get some privacy. Well, last night I looked across the kitchen to see the door slightly ajar and my son...doing push-ups. I didn't say anything; I just watched him finish his five reps, flex in the mirror, and walk out of the bathroom."
9."My two-year-old tries to hide a toy car behind his back when I put him to bed. I pretend not to see it until he gets in the crib and go, 'Ooooohh, you got me soooo good! You tricked daddy!' Then I tickle him which causes him to drop the car, I take it and hide it. Then I continue to play with him for a minute until he forgets about the car."
10."My four-year-old niece wrote her brother's name on the wall and claimed he did it. Her brother was not even a year old yet."
11."My son has a crush on a girl in school. He walks home from school every day and visits our neighbor's very old dog. My son gives him belly scratches, and, in exchange, my neighbor's dog doesn’t tell a soul what my son tells him. However, the dog's owner — who is 'working nearby in the garden' — is an excellent eavesdropper and knows everything, and she, in turn, shares it with me. He will never know that I know."
12."My nephew lied as a kid but my mother knew and called him on it. He asked how she knew and she said his third eye on his forehead winked when he lied. For about two years afterward, whenever he lied he would do it with one hand over his forehead. So we always knew. It was great."
13."My 7-year-old daughter is trying to impress me by learning origami. She doesn't think I can see all the missing paper and paper cranes hidden throughout her room. So I bought two more reams of paper, and left them out 'by accident.' Lazy old dad, not putting away his office supplies."
14."My 10-year-old daughter has been using a shared Google doc to chat with a friend while they play games on the Switch. She told me yesterday, 'I deleted all the text so don't bother trying to see what I wrote.' I wasn't planning on reading it but since she spoke up I went and checked and it was the most boring to-the-point game stuff ever. What Pokemon they wanted to trade, and what courses they wanted to do in Mario Kart."
15."He has a secret character/identity he dresses up as in his bedroom and acts out some hero thing. He’s never told us what it is. Been doing it for years."
16."Mine sometimes wakes up early and sneaks in to take her phone to play games under her bed cover. I know it every time she does it. I don't say anything and 30 minutes later I go to wake her up loudly so that she gets time to 'put it away.' She pretends to have just woken up and I pretend to have not known that she was on her phone the last half hour."
17."My 15-year-old thinks I don't know they stay up all night on weekends playing Call of Duty with friends. Kid, as if the tired eyes and the mega sleep-in the next day weren't a huge giveaway."
18."Mine is barely a toddler so right now it’s, 'No, I’m TOTALLY not pooping right now, the floor just got REALLY interesting, so I need to squat down to look at it for a few minutes!' She plays with her fingers in the carpet as if she’s doing a good job fooling us."
19.And finally, "That my daughter is hiding snacks in her pillow."
Are you a parent who knows your kid is hiding a secret from you? Let us know in the comments!
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
