Are you your parents' favourite child? How to find out, according to new study
Even though siblings often share a unique bond, they will sometimes clash fiercely over a range of things from borrowing clothes to who won a certain game.
And something that can cause an undercurrent of tension over many years is the suggestion that one sibling is the favourite of their parents. Many of us will try to make a detailed argument about why we are clearly the most-loved child, bringing up examples of preferential treatment from the past.
And while, for most of us, this is all said in jest in a bid to rile up our brothers and sisters, for other people it can cause serious issues. And new research may be able to give some warring siblings a clearer answer over who is actually the favourite.
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The study, carried out at Brigham Young University in Utah, discovered that parents could subtly be showing favouritism to certain children without even knowing it.
Professor Alex Jenson found that parents generally give more favourable treatment to the younger siblings, whereas more autonomy is granted to the older children, with mums and dads being less controlling towards them as they grow up.
He said: "It is helpful to take the findings from this study and be aware of the patterns that could be happening in your family. When parents are aware, they can make small adjustments that benefit everyone."
The study showed that parents are more likely to favour their daughters slightly more than their sons, however children did not seem to identify this bias during the research. Personality also plays a major role, with children who are more responsible and agreeable generally being on the receiving end of favourable treatment, regardless of gender or birth order.
Jenson explains: "Most parents probably connect more easily with one child over another, whether that be due to personality, birth order, gender or other things like shared interests." However, he warns parents to "watch for those patterns within yourself. Pay attention to how your children react to things that could be perceived as favouritism."
As much as it can be passed off as silly sibling rivalry, it is important to remember how the words and actions of a parent can have an effect on their child's wellbeing. In Jenson's other research, he found that children who feel less favoured by their parents are more likely to engage problematic behaviours at home and at school, while also being more likely to experience poor mental health.
He advises: "Keep an eye out for things that seem unfair. Your children will let you know if they think something is unfair. Pay attention to them when they make that known. Either they are missing perspective and understanding, or you need to make some changes in your parenting. Make sure you are open to the latter."
The study examined data from over 19,000 individuals, while also drawing from a range of published and unpublished sources. From all this research, Jenson suggests that parents need to stop getting hung up on treating all of their kids the same, as this can sometimes lead to overlooking each child's individual needs.
He noted: "We're not suggesting parents feel guilty; instead, parents can look at this research and use it as encouragement to look at places where they can improve, without going to extremes."
As much as siblings may continue to bicker over who is their parents' pride and joy, it is important to remember that showcasing favourable behaviour, whether intentional or not, can have an impact on family dynamics later down the road.
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