The one New Year's resolution everyone should make according to a wellness expert
With the start of the new year - and decade - many of us are looking to make resolutions for the weeks and months ahead, whether personal or professional.
According to wellness expert Sadie Reid, founder of the newly launched wellness directory The Hip List, there's one particular resolution everyone needs to have on their list: asking for help. Below, she explains why we often struggle to ask for help, and why it's so important that we do.
"Asking for help can be one of the single most positive effects you can have on your health and happiness. Statistics show that less than half of people who have a mental health issue ask for help - and I truly believe that it is even less than that. In the past, it has been seen as a badge of strength to be able to make your way through life tackling all the challenges and difficulties that come our way on our own and not ‘burdening’ others with our worries, problems and health issues. These can then spiral out of control and cause us great pain. There are so many skilled health professionals out there who are trained to help you get back on your feet and feeling better than ever - you just need to reach out to them."
Why do people struggle to ask for help?
"There is a cultural tendency, among Brits in particular, to put on a front, or to build a wall around us when we are not feeling our best or struggling; the ‘stiff upper lip’ mindset.
There is a big misconception that getting through things on your own will be more rewarding. I believe we know that’s not always true - having a professional helping you often gets you there quicker and with better results, and you make deeper connections and relationships with those you bring on your journey with you.
Together we all have to help try and break down the barriers and lose all resistance to asking for help. We need to see it as the best possible thing you could do for yourself."
It's an issue that affects everyone
"One in four of us experience mental health issues every year. Struggling to ask for help really isn’t confined to one social group, and there is a worry that as soon as we start assuming that it is, we might miss others in need of help that don’t fit that 'common' demographic.
"We also need to be aware that, even if the issues we are suffering from don’t seem as 'serious' or as significant as what we believe others experience, or if we feel relatively on top of most but not all areas of our lives, we can still reach out. Therapists, life coaches and other incredible healing practitioners can bring so much positivity to our lives, and they need not only be turned to in times of absolute crisis. Therapy can help you learn about what you're feeling, why you might be feeling it, and how to cope, providing you with tailored self-help exercises too."
Who should you ask for help?
"To begin with - anyone! Ask someone you are close to or someone you are not close to - whatever feels less terrifying. Just take that first step on the ladder. And from there you need to find a professional (or the person you have reached out to can).
Don't leave it too late
"I believe a lot of us wait until we hit rock bottom before we even contemplate asking for help and it needn’t be that way. As soon as you realise you are struggling, start talking about it, before anything spirals out of control. Talk to someone who may know the right professional that can help you. Remember that people love helping people - so you won’t be burdening anyone; they’ll be delighted to be able to help you."
How to find the right therapist for you
"There are so many wonderful people out there - for individual, couple or family therapy, and for so much more in relation to both physical and mental health. You can also get free psychological therapies, including counselling for depression, on the NHS and it is also always worth asking your employer or your health insurance provider if they cover the wellness professional you need, if you have that.
Ask friends or family and read through the health professional’s websites to get an understanding of the different approaches. You will very quickly get a feeling. It’s good to be clear on what you want from it. The most important thing is to take your time and be brave. You won’t know until you start to embark on your own journey with someone whether they are the right fit for you. Most will start with an initial phone consultation - and that can be daunting and bring up all sorts of emotions, but it is so worth putting yourself through the discomfort to start the healing process. After the call, you'll very quickly have an idea of a treatment plan.
Finding a recommended, good professional is likely to create a better experience and therefore encourage you to continue to seek help again in the future if you ever need to. From running Hip & Healthy I have been lucky enough to have been working with some of the best wellness professionals and therapists in the business. I’m in a unique situation and have always wanted to extend that to enable everyone to have access to them, hence why I launched The Hip List - a new directory of reputable wellness professionals. Users can search practitioners by location and category; from facialists to fertility specialists, nutritionists to naturopaths and everything in-between.
First steps
"[If you think you need help], start by talking to anyone you feel comfortable talking to, and reach out for professional help as soon as possible.
"[If you think a loved one needs help], approach it sensitively, and offer to find the professional help they need. Suggest that you go with them if they want you to. Support them every step of the way. Be kind, compassionate and check in with them regularly."
Cognitive behavioural therapist and accredited life coach Lorna Devine agrees that more people need to be more open to asking for help.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help if you are struggling with your mental health. We go to our GP when we have a physical health problem so why wouldn’t we go to see a therapist for our mental health? Therapy is perfectly normal and can be extremely valuable. In particular, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective in treating a range of issues including anxiety, perfectionism and low mood.
"I personally think that everyone benefits from therapy, even if that's just to maintain mental health and wellbeing. It not only helps you understand yourself better, but it also enables you to understand others around you. In addition, a benefit of therapy is that the effects are long-lasting, as you develop skills and tools to help you deal with any future difficulties."
Sadie Reid has been working as a consultant with some of the leading global brands in health and wellbeing for the last 10 years having exited traditional publishing. She launched the Hip & Healthy forum after working in the wellbeing industry in LA and Hong Kong, spotting a gap in the UK market. She is an experienced business mentor, regularly hosting panels and events shining a light on healthy living.
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