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Is it ok to want to be a housewife even though you don't have kids?

A woman has sparked a debate online about whether it is ok to want to be a housewife without kids [Photo: Getty]
A woman has sparked a debate online about whether it is ok to want to be a housewife without kids [Photo: Getty]

A woman has divided the Internet by asking if it’s ok for her to want to be a housewife even though she doesn’t have kids.

Taking to Mumsnet, the woman to ask if it was unreasonable of her to want to be a stay at home wife, even though she is not able to have children.

“First off I’m not able to have kids so kids are out of the question,” she started her post.

“I am desparate [sic] to be a housewife. Never been very career orientated yet have somehow ended up with a Masters degree and a teaching job. It’s doing my nut in and it’s not just a question of the job itself, I’ve held several jobs and it’s all the same,” she wrote.

The woman went on to explain that she now only works Tuesday to Friday and has Monday off. “I LOVE these Mondays of doing the shopping, cooking, baking, cleaning. Am very much a homebody and not the social type at all,” she writes.

In terms of finances the original poster explained that her husband makes good money and they own their home outright, with not too many outgoings, but her husband is not keen for her to become a housewife.

“Really want to convince him that I should stay at home and focus on domestic duties… he’s not having it,” she wrote before asking other users how she can convince him.

And they were quick to step in and offer their opinions on the topic.

Many were against the idea of the woman talking her husband into letting her become a stay at home wife.

“Have you not considered that you love that one day because it’s your one day to potter around doing shopping/baking/cleaning?” one user wrote.

“If that was your life every day for the rest of your working life (presumably many many years) surely the novelty would wear off, you’d resent it and be bored to tears.

“Do two adults really generate enough housework for it to be your ‘job’ seven days a week?” she asked.

More women are striving to be stay at home wives [Photo: Getty]
More women are striving to be stay at home wives [Photo: Getty]

“Why on earth would you want to be a housewife?” another asked

“And I don’t think ‘I like cleaning and I’m not very sociable’ constitutes a very good rationale for being supported by someone else’s labour for life. No household of two needs 50% of its inhabitants entirely dedicated to running it.”

“Sorry to be harsh but I’m imaging your husband coming home and saying ‘how was your day?’” another wrote.

“‘Oh, just wonderful, I’ve darned your socks and finally got around to dusting the lampshades in the hallway!’ I mean…”

But others were of the opinion that the woman should follow her heart in terms of work.

“You should do what makes YOU happy. Running a household is an honourable task,” one user wrote.

“Why not Happy wife =happy life,” another agreed.

Some users shared their own desires to be SAHWs.

“I too would love to be a housewife,” one woman wrote. “I think it’s a valued job. Looking after a family and the greater community.

“There is too much pressure on people to be successful in their careers. Life is for living the life you want. I would be happy being at home. I am happiest when cooking, sewing, sharing a meal with friends. I love fixing things, I rarely call out plumbers and other tradespeople as I am competent in many aspects of DIY. Being a homemaker can be really rewarding,” she continued.

Another post on the same topic shared to Reddit received a similar mixed response.

“I am a 21 year old woman, engaged to be married, and although I want to stay home and take care of my husband and my home, neither my man nor I want kids,” the poster explained.

“I’ve found that whenever I tell people that I don’t work, don’t have kids, and want to stay home, I get a nasty side glare and some retort about being lazy I just like having a clean and organised home, and having dinner ready by the time my husband comes home from work! What’s so wrong with that?!”

“So the question is this…. if I don’t have kids, should I be working? I’ve been made to feel so useless because I don’t bring in money. I live in a VERY liberal/feminist place, and it’s exhausting dealing with the constant hate.”

But the two posters certainly aren’t alone in their desire to want to be housewives.

A recent study published in the Psychology of Women Quarterly found that while females of Generation Y are more accepting of working mothers, there is an increased desire among them to stay at home, compared to the generation before.

Thirty-two per cent of millennials believe men are best suited to be the breadwinners and women the homemakers. This figure is up from 27 per cent in the 1990s.

But what does this mean for feminism? While there are obviously women who are totally suited at a life as a homemaker, with or without children, and we have to respect that choice.

For others could it simply be that the work-life juggle is all just too stressful? Making some woman yearn for a more simple (if no less busy!) life.

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