Newlyweds who met online and bonded over tales of terrible first dates become dating coaches using their experience to help others find a perfect match
A couple who married last year after meeting online and bonding over stories of terrible first dates have become dating coaches using their personal experience to help others find the perfect match.
Launching the Single-To-Couple website in November 2021, rather than matchmaking, Mila and Jeremy Smith, who met through an upmarket online service, are advising people on how to prepare for dating and keep a good relationship afloat once they find one.
Russian born mum-of-one Mila, 46, who lived all over the world before settling in the UK in 2005 and working for a digital printing company, had “all but given up on finding love” when she met IT consultant Jeremy, 53, a dad-of-two, through Elite Singles in February 2018.
Mila, who lives with Jeremy and her 11-year-old-son near Reading, Berkshire, said: “I’m quite picky and had just about given up when Jeremy and I met.
“I’d had a couple of significant relationships, but I’d say I had mixed success when dating and I had some really bad dates too.”
Meeting Jeremy in person for the first time at a wine bar in Wokingham, Berkshire, she soon discovered their romantic history had been filled with parallel experiences.
She said: “We’d both married very young, in our twenties. We’d both then gone on to have another long-term significant relationship, which had ended and we both have children.”
And when they clicked, they felt safe discussing some of the terrible dates they had endured in their search for “The One.”
Mila laughed: “I remember going for drinks with someone and thinking, ‘What’s that smell?'”
She added: “We were having drinks outside and sitting by the river, so I thought maybe it was coming from there or from a nearby sewer.
“But when he stood up and came closer to me, I realised my date had really bad body odour and the smell was coming from him!”
The more they shared their experiences, the more Mila and Jeremy realised there were definite red flags that should not be ignored – from personal hygiene to being self-absorbed – when it came to dating.
Meanwhile, as their own relationship blossomed – with them buying a house together in April 2021 – they soon found their friends and colleagues turning to them for romantic advice.
And while there are plenty of matchmaking sites, judging by the amount of advice they were giving away free, they saw a gap in the market for a proper “coaching service” for daters.
Encouraged whole heartedly to launch their new venture by friends and family, Mila said: “We’d already had lots of people coming to us for advice, after seeing how well our relationship was working out.”
She added: “The men would ask me for the woman’s perspective and girlfriends would want to know Jeremy’s take on a relationship issue, so we decided to come up with some online courses to share what we’ve learned.”
The result was Single-to-Couple, which was launched as a 12-week series of online modules designed to make sure people are choosing dates based on their needs and what will work for them.
Costing £4.99 per month for three months and offering a version for men and one for women, as well as having a premium service costing £12.99 a month for three months, Mila said: “We’d noticed how the two sexes encounter different issues or challenges, when dating and decided we’d address that, too.”
The starting point for any new dater is to read week one, the overview of the service, which they can have sight of free if they are interested in signing up and which will help identify what they need, rather than what they might think they want in a partner.
This is essential as, probably the biggest dating pitfall of all, according to Mila, is failing to make sure your expectations are aligned.
She said: “This will be the case when, say, a woman knows she would like a baby but has chosen someone who does not want any more kids.”
Make sure your expectations are aligned.
Try not to misinterpret what each other say.
Women should not take a man's initial advances too literally.
If men pull away, women must not chase them - give them space.
Men must be patient with women, as they think differently.
Men should not take women to big events, like football matches, early on - they prefer intimate settings where they can get to know you and talk.
And while Mila and Jeremy know they have now “hit the jackpot,” they describe their happiness, after both following rocky paths on the way to finding true love, as being “much deserved.”
“We still pinch ourselves because we can’t believe how lucky we are to have found each other,” said Mila.
“There’s not been one single time when I’ve thought, ‘If I could change one thing about Jeremy this is what I’d change.'”
She added: “Before I met Jeremy, I had done a lot of work on myself and analysed where I was going wrong in my dating choices and it clearly paid off.
“This is the kind of advice we are now passing on to people through our service.”
Luckily, for Jeremy, who married Mila in August 2021 at Cliveden House in Taplow, Buckinghamshire, the feeling is mutual.
He, too, has had his share of forgettable or memorable-for-all-the-wrong reasons dates.
He said: “I remember sitting in a coffee shop waiting to meet my date and being shocked when a woman who was already there came over and tapped me on the shoulder.
“She looked absolutely nothing like her photos and when she sat down, she talked without stopping for breath.”
She added: “I don’t think she stopped talking long enough to ask me anything!”
The more Mila and Jeremy – who has a daughter of 16 and a son of 13 who stay with them on alternate weeks – got to know each other, the more they realised how difficult most dating is and how unprepared most of us are for doing it.
Jeremy said: “We both started thinking about how people just go out there and start dating without giving any thought to their needs or what it is they are looking for.”
He added: “If you’re choosing dates from an app or website, then you’re relying on people to be truthful and unless you learn to listen and read between the lines when someone’s talking, you may not even notice the red flags that will be a problem for you later on in the relationship.
“If, for example, you’re the sort of person who likes to be in control and make decisions, then you need to choose a partner who complements you and is happy to go along with that.
“It won’t work if you date someone else who also likes to be in control all the time.”
Another big mistake people make in choosing a partner is thinking that if the person they are dating brings six of the 10 things they think are important to a relationship, that they can change them, so that they score full marks.
Jeremy said: “That just doesn’t work, because people only change when they want to change.”
While the couple sincerely believe that their advice can be invaluable in helping people to navigate the choppy waters of dating, Jeremy admits that when he first saw Mila he knew she was special.
He said: “We met for drinks and when I first saw Mila in the car park I took one look and thought, ‘I’m going to need to bring my A-game.’
“And I was right, as time passed and we got to know each other, everything about her was perfect.”
To sign up for Dating Coaching with Jeremy & Mila visit www.single-to-couple.com
