Nadia Sawalha: ‘I can be ball-breaking and soppy’
We lived in Jordan during the Six Day War in 1967. It was scary. My British mum and Jordanian dad turned hiding under the table into a game. When my uncle offered Mum a gun to put under her pillow, she refused. That’s an Anglo-Arab upbringing.
Mum fell in love with Dad at first sight, in the BBC canteen. She worked for the French Service, he worked on Arabic. She requested a transfer to his department. Before long, they were married.
Our house had loads of food, fun and a real mix of cultures. Friends loved coming over: “You might get sheep’s eyeballs!” Then I’d visit theirs and get ham, a lettuce leaf and salad cream.
My sister lives on the same street as me. She’s been known to climb through my kitchen window and take a chicken out of the fridge. If one of us needs another bottle of wine at 2am, we can nip to the other’s house.
“Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.” For years, I’d quote this, thinking it was Gandhi. Then I discovered it was Dr Seuss. I still say it to my kids.
My husband is 20-years sober and I was a mess when we met. We’ve seen counsellors and done a lot of work on ourselves. Now, we have a podcast about marriage. Every week we sit opposite each other, look into each other’s eyes and talk. It’s amazing how many couples don’t.
Receiving an ADHD diagnosis at 58 made me feel less of an impostor. I’ve never believed in myself, but I have more confidence now that I know I’m not stupid or lazy. My brain just works in a different way.
I made my family follow Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt around the Lucian Freud exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. Angelina was beautiful; Brad just exuded the golden light of fame. My eldest daughter, meanwhile, kept asking: “But what about Lucian Freud?”
My favourite guests on Loose Women are the ones I could see myself having lunch and becoming friends with: Julie Hesmondhalgh; Drew Barrymore. If I invited them to my house, I don’t think they’d be bothered about the mess.
I can’t change the world, but I can present information from my heart as a humanitarian and hope it trickles out. Breast cancer treatment on the NHS and the situation in Gaza are issues I’m passionate about. They leave me panic-stricken. I can’t sleep unless I say something.
Not everyone should drive. I’ve given myself a lifetime ban: in front of the wheel, I’d be dangerous. Because of my ADHD, my mind would race ahead and skip a beat. I take medication now and have been told I could try again. I’ve convinced myself not to.
Overeaters Anonymous helped me to control my disordered, compulsive eating. Living that way was exhausting. My relationship with food now is the best it’s ever been. I listen to what my body wants and work hard at not feeling guilt.
Turning 60 this year is going to be joyful. It doesn’t mean I like that my hair is getting wispy, my slightly arthritic bum, or that I can’t jump as high as I used to. It’s just gratitude. I’ve been lucky beyond my wildest dreams.
Women are supposed to be one thing or the other, but I can be ball-breaking and soppy; on it and a total mess; a show-off and shy. I’m a 360-degree person: kind-hearted, yes, and a bit of a cow.
The Sawalha-Adderleys – Family, Food, Films & Fun is available on YouTube
