My husband accidentally sexted me instead of his secret lover
How I was dumped is a Yahoo UK column in which anonymous writers share the shocking and heart-wrenching ways their relationship ended.
When her phone beeped with a message, Maria*, 43, never expected it to instantly destroy her marriage.
It was already nearly 9pm and my husband, Simon*, 43, and I had just finished wrestling our three children who were two, four and six, into bed. We collapsed onto the sofa with a Chinese takeaway and the latest episode of Yellowstone. Finishing his last mouthful, Simon stood up and yawned.
"I’m calling it a night," he said, "I’m shattered."
"Already?" I replied, surprised.
Simon never normally went to bed before 10pm.
"I’m finishing this episode then I’ll be up," I replied, as he disappeared up the stairs.
About 10 minutes later my phone beeped with a message – from Simon.
'What’s he forgotten?' I sighed, unlocking my phone and expecting to see him asking me to lock the back door or something.
Instead though, I opened the message to see an explicit picture with text below it: 'I’m going to end things with Maria this weekend,' it said. 'Thought this would keep you going for tonight.'
I was so shocked, I couldn’t think straight. I’d never been sent an explicit picture of a man’s private’s before, not even my husband's. Then immediately the realisation hit me that the message wasn’t meant for me.
The ultimate betrayal
Simon had obviously sent it to me by mistake and had meant to send it to someone else. And he was telling her he was going to end our marriage. My stomach lurched as I ran to the toilet and vomited.
We had been married for 15 years, had three children, two cats and a dog. Admittedly, life had been so busy since having our youngest that we rarely had time to do things as a couple. I worked long hours as a designer and Simon in finance.
'Anyone would think you’re having an affair!' I’d joked as he’d headed out one Saturday night, but I quickly told myself to stop being stupid.
Most mornings we barely said three words to each other before the nanny arrived and we dashed out of the door.
Simon had never been much of a talker anyway which in the early days I’d thought was mysterious and enigmatic. Now I knew he just didn’t have much to say.
Our flirty interactions had long dwindled, as had our sex life, and now our conversations were about dinner options, after-school clubs and that he needed to reply to his mother on his family WhatsApp group.
Red flags
The last few months I’d seen a change though. Previously a near-recluse, Simon had started going out more.
'The lads in the office are having beers after work,' he’d messaged, the first time. 'I’ll be a bit late.'
I was slightly surprised but it meant I got to watch what I wanted on TV.
The following week he was out with them again and then some weekends he began catching up with one of his old friends for a game of tennis or a beer.
I heard Simon’s footsteps running down the stairs, he’d obviously realised his mistake.
"Anyone would think you’re having an affair!" I’d joked as he’d headed out one Saturday night, but I quickly told myself to stop being stupid. After all, Simon was so quiet he wouldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone another woman. Plus he'd never given me any reason to doubt him.
All this flashed through my mind now as I knelt on the toilet floor and realised I should have trusted my instincts. I felt such an idiot.
End of the marriage
I heard Simon’s footsteps running down the stairs, he’d obviously realised his mistake. Pushing open the toilet door he looked at me, tears streaming down my face.
'Who is she?' I screamed. 'It doesn’t matter who,' he replied, the vein on his forehead pulsing with stress.
"Who is she?" I screamed.
"It doesn’t matter who," he replied, the vein on his forehead pulsing with stress.
"I knew you were up to something," I replied eventually.
As emotionally devoid as ever, Simon just watched me as I blew my nose and stood up.
"I’m sorry," he gulped eventually.
We didn’t talk about it that night, I just went into the spare room and cried. Then when I had no tears left I laughed bitterly that he actually thought a picture of his wrinkly old privates was a turn-on!
I knew that our relationship had been non-existent for the last few years. We’d barely spoken, let alone been intimate with each other. Maybe I was partly to blame, maybe it was just a natural side effect of having young children.
For the moment we are still living in the house together while we try to sell it. Simon goes out a lot so I think he’s still seeing his other woman, but to be honest she’s welcome to him.
It makes me sad for the children when I think about us splitting up, but deep-down I know I’ll be happier in the long run.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.
