A newly single mum has caused a stir online after suggesting she would change her daughter’s name to match hers.
An anonymous mum posted on mumsnet about the fact her marriage had broken down, but was upset about having a different surname to her one-year-old after reverting back to her maiden name.
“I don’t see why she has to have a different name to me for the rest of her life, when her father has basically decided to leave us because we’re too much hassle,” she wrote.
“He has said to me he finds being a dad stressful and he wants to focus on himself,” she added. “I’m sure though that he would be offended by the idea and I know I need his permission.”
Despite suggesting she gives her daughter a double-barrel name by adding her maiden name to her partner’s surname, some thought the idea was terrible.
“Didn’t change your daughter’s identity to mirror your relationship status,” one mum responded. “It’s her name. Presumably it was good enough to give her before the relationship went wrong.”
Someone else suggested that instead of changing back, she should just stay in her married name.
While one person told her to look to the future, where it’s possible she may get married again, and find herself in a similar position.
“Your dd could turn out to be the only one with your family name connection,” she said, suggesting allowing her to “keep her father’s surname for now and making her own decision in the future might be better”.
But while many erred on the side of caution, some thought his actions to date proved he doesn’t deserve the right.
“Jesus what a d**k,” a user wrote. “I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had to deal with this. YANBU [You are not being unreasonable] in these circumstances I’d definitely want to change her name.”
In response, the 31-year-old accepted she was possibly not thinking straight.
“I get it though like I said I’m not necessarily being rational this is just how I feel,” she explained.
Got a story tip? Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org