Men Are Sharing The Things That Secretly Bother Them But Are Rarely Talked About, And I Suddenly Have A Tiny Bit More Empathy For Men
This Reddit thread of things men secretly think about but never openly discuss gave me perspective on how the male mind works (okay, I'm still confused, but this helped). Here is what some of the top responses said:
1."I think a lot of men and women take media’s representation of relationships as what a good relationship should be and it’s extremely damaging to their own happiness and contentment in a real relationship."
2."The socialization loss that's happening right now. People need to talk and be around others, especially when they are young. We will soon have a lot of young people who never got a chance to do that. I'm worried what that will do as people regress further inwards."
3."Why is having balance in one's life one of the most important things, but do we ever reward balance while growing up or in society? Everything seems to be one way or the other, and so black and white and so much extremism. You're either losing or winning. Why don't schools teach kids how to handle stress? And learn more about laws? Finance? And what are the different paths if college isn't a future a kid wants? School is not for everyone else. On top of that, there's a lot of bullying that goes on and ruins education and someone's ability to trust and want to be social."
4."It's very hard to find a woman who is content with a simple life. I want to make something clear: I don't hate women. Women are deserving of inherent love and respect, and they deal with a lot of shit that we, as men, will never understand. With that out of the way, I'd love to meet a woman who isn't obsessed with travel, entrepreneurship, or Instagram. And this is just hard to find. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with travel or business. But if that leaves little room for love, or when she can't relax and enjoy the present without thinking about the next trip, it's just not really great energy."
5."The amount of name-brand streaming services is ruining streaming. We used to have just two or whatever, but now everybody has one. So, instead of all the money being funneled, it's spread across. And, since they're a bit expensive, people run one or two at a time, then cancel and pick another one or two to run for a month or two. This is negatively affecting the shows. There's less money available, so these companies are canceling really wonderful series' because they don't see great initial numbers."
6."I'm still pretty young but constantly think about my future. 'What if it doesn't work out?'"
7."Why is the man the one that has to do all the work outside of the home? Why can't the woman/wife ever mow the lawn? Why don't I ever see a woman on top of a ladder cleaning the leaves out of the gutters? Are women saying that they are not capable of these tasks? Men can certainly decorate the home and perform many of the tasks that women traditionally do, but if we try to tell women to do the tasks traditionally performed by men — then we are the asshole."
8."It is not socially acceptable to express that we feel unloved or to have grievances."
9."It’s no secret, but as a male musician who performs live, female performers get gigs far more easily than I do. I play guitar and sing in a 3-piece cover band, and I have to work twice as hard to land a gig as an atonal female singer just because she’s attractive. Most of them don’t even play an instrument, and they’re just 'blessed' to have a voice, which (as a music teacher myself) is not a talent; it’s a skillset. Anyone can sing, given the proper lessons. But the bands with a cute chick on stage will always get the gig over the guys who have dedicated part of their lives to their craft. Rant over."
10."One thing that really bothers a lot of men is the pressure to always be the 'strong' one. Society expects us to be tough and unfeeling, making expressing vulnerability or asking for help hard. It’s not like we don’t have feelings; we just feel like we can’t show them without being judged. I wish it were more accepted for guys to talk about their struggles openly."
11."The way men prefer repressing emotions and shoving them back down, rather than exploring and understanding them. I have more and more of a hard time connecting with men because they usually do that, then act like they are reliable, problem solvers, more pragmatic and less sensitive than women, etc., but men really can go their whole life not understanding a part of our world, society, and relationships, just because of that. Last month my friend who I went to the gym with said, after lifting a lot of weight, 'This is better than any form of bullshit therapy,' and I know this guy has repressed emotions and a difficult past."
12."Being compared to others in terms of success at my age and then when I started to succeed at a so-called 'young age,' people started telling me not to make big decisions because you’re still young! It bothers me how some people can’t think out of a society frame, and I'm 24."
13."It's hard to find guy friends after graduating school. Most people only make new friends through their jobs, but most people in my job are in their 50s or 60s and have families with no time off."
14."The complete over-fixation that women have on social media."
Can you add anything else here? If so, please share it with me in the comments below.
