"Cut That Crap Out" – Men, Tell Us The Red Flags That You See Other Men Do All The Time
As a woman, I really appreciate when a man calls out another man on their bullshit, especially when they're being creepy, sexist, inappropriate, or even dangerous with women.
Once, I was at my new boyfriend's house with his roommate and friend. They were deciding on a movie to watch and landed on There Will Be Blood, a 2007 American period drama that critiques greed and capitalism through the lens of antihero Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis), a conniving oilman. However, his friend turned to my boyfriend and his roommate and said, "Oh, we shouldn't watch that. It's not a movie for girls," while looking at me.
My eyes widened, but both my boyfriend and roommate quickly called him out on his sexist assumption that women couldn't watch a "man's movie" about oil and greed. "Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she wouldn't want to watch that," they remarked in a judgemental snicker back to him.
Of course, I would've called him out myself, but it was nice for once to have other men point it out, too, instead of just standing by or not saying anything (which has happened far more times in my life than I can count).
It got me thinking about all the other times men have blatantly witnessed red-flag behavior from other men. So, if you’re a man, what are the red flags you’ve noticed other men display — whether you called them out or found yourself wishing you could shout across the room, the screen, or wherever it happened?
Maybe you were at a bar with your friends, and one of your guy friends started hitting on a girl with waaay too much macho bravado — bragging about his strength and how much time he spends at the gym. It was obvious the girl wasn't interested, and you wanted to tap him on the shoulder and say, "Dude, read the room!"
Maybe you were meeting with your boss, a man, and your coworker, a woman, and he would not stop interrupting and talking over her. Even though there was a power dynamic with him being in charge of both of you, you told him to cut it out and let her finish speaking. Your comment clearly took him aback, but he apologized to her, and your coworker thanked you.
Maybe you don’t have a specific instance, but you’re fed up with the rampant objectification and harmful behavior perpetuated by male podcasters and their supporters online. It seems like every day, you come across random men on the internet spewing misogynistic takes on gender roles and stereotypes, and you could confront every single one of them face-to-face and tell them to get a grip on reality.
So, lovely male allies, let us know in the comments or at this anonymous form the red flags you see other men do all the time, whether you've called them out or not (or wish you did). Your response could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post.
