Marriage Diaries: My husband is so old-school he wants me to write Christmas cards, not send e-cards

Every year at about this time, I settle down to the arduous task of writing Christmas cards by hand.

This is made even more difficult by the fact that my husband expects me to write an individual message for each recipient. This needs to consist of a five-paragraph update on our own family activities and goings on, followed on by a polite enquiry on the recipients’ welfare as well as their children/dogs where relevant.

A standard, one-for-all printed out round robin is “not acceptable”.

After that, I have to find the right address for the right name which has become more complex over the years with our wide social group re-marrying, divorcing, moving house and sadly sometimes being widowed.

Then one of my friends announced at our pilates class that she was going to send e-cards instead. She’s actually quite a traditional sort and I was quite surprised – as well as inspired.

So I checked out the website she recommended and was enchanted by the pretty cards you can send with flying snowmen and singing choristers.

What a great idea. It’s also much quicker for me to type a personal message than write by hand because I have a dodgy wrist.

But when I suggested this to my husband, he became almost apoplectic, demanding to know what our friends might think.

I pointed out that the pilates friend was going to do it which silenced him for a brief second since he plays golf with the husband. However, he then declared that our family wasn’t “stooping down to the same level” and that handwritten Christmas cards in pen and ink were vital to the “fabric of our society”.

I replied that he was going completely over the top and that if he felt like that, he could jolly well write 200 odd cards himself.

Then he played the guilt card by saying I would be depriving the charity we usually buy from. I said we could simply send them a donation instead. He also pointed out that you can’t put an e-card on the mantelpiece which I concede is a good point. But in my book, the benefits outweigh this.

He has been sulking ever since. This morning, after he left for work, he actually left me a note on the kitchen table pointing out that the Christmas posting date for second-class stamps was December 18. And that’s another thing. The postage cost last year was nearly £200 compared with a very reasonable annual membership to the e-card site.

Our argument has, to be honest, made me question our marriage. I feel hurt that he doesn’t appreciate my point of view. It’s not the first time I’ve felt this but it really feels like the last straw.

So I’ve signed up for that lovely gift card website my friend has told me about. It’s just an option. But maybe next year, our social circle will be sending us Christmas cards at two different addresses…