"I Was Heartbroken But Said I Would Think About It": This Man's Wife Suddenly Wants To Have An Open Marriage To Sleep With Other People, And The Internet Has A Lot Of Thoughts On It

Usually, when you decide to get married, it means that you're making a forever commitment to your partner. Obviously, throughout the course of a marriage things might happen that cause two people to split up.

Bride in an elegant, lace wedding gown and groom in a tailored black suit holding hands while walking down a park pathway
Jovanat / Getty Images

However, this redditor who recently shared his story on the subreddit r/relationship_advice is conflicted about what to do after his wife came to him suddenly asking for an open marriage after being in a monogamous marriage for 15 years. Here is what they shared:

A person seeks advice on processing their wife's recent decision (bi-sexual, open marriage), mentioning family challenges, their job, and reflections on attractiveness

To summarize, the OP mentioned a few months ago that the Redditor's wife started texting a new female friend, and they had some similar interests. "Our sex life was not great (maybe 4-8 times a year until last year). She had turned 40, and her sex drive increased. For the last six months, it was 1-2 times a week. I loved it, and she was having a great time (the one thing I am good at). However, out of the blue (around the same time), she asked if I would be ok with a threesome. I said I would be self-conscious (I was startled)."

Text describing a conversation about changes in a couple's sex life, including trying new experiences. It ends with an unresolved conflict and potential separation

The OP concluded by writing, "This whole thing has completely upended my mental health. I am starting on anti-depressants, and I am not sleeping. I am ashamed at how little I stick up for myself, but she is my best friend and the love of my life. I don't think I can go through an open marriage. We start couples counseling later this month. She has been more lovey and open and thinks our marriage is improving greatly. I am not sure. Reddit threads on this subject are awful (outcome-wise). What should I do? Is there any hope for us? How do I navigate this with her?" the OP asked.

Summary of text: A person shares their struggles with their mental health and marriage, mentioning starting anti-depressants, seeking couples counseling, and asking for advice
u/Revolutionary-Desk66 / Via reddit.com

Over 100 people chimed in in the comment section, offering advice, explaining their thoughts on the situation.

A Reddit post by user Heavy-Quail-7295 discussing bisexual people in monogamous relationships and expressing a stance against open marriages

This person showed got super honest with the OP.

Summary of text: The writer advises to say no to a wife wanting to explore her sexuality with another, suggesting offering a speedy divorce as she will leave for her friend

This commenter explained what the OP's wife was doing, and they have a good point.

A Reddit comment discussing how one woman didn't reciprocate feelings, leading to complications in OP's marriage. Section showing 23 upvotes, award, reply, and share options

And this person in an open relationship shared their experience while giving the OP solid advice.

Reddit post by user Low-Goal-9068 advising against starting an open relationship if there is pressure or emotional turmoil, stressing communication and mutual enthusiasm

What do you think? Why do you think the wife is suddenly asking for an open marriage? Is there a right or wrong way of handling this situation? Share all your thoughts with me in the comments below!

Note: Some edits have been made due to length and/or clarity.