'Making later-life friends in lockdown has been a godsend'
Jenny Skinner, 67
When I moved to a retirement village with my husband, Alan, 79, a year and a half ago, I expected to meet new people. But we never expected to find such wonderful friends like Jacqui and Eddie, and Gill and Steve, two couples who we have become incredibly close to in Millbrook Village in Exeter.
Alan and I don’t have children, so we have always had very close friendships. But when we moved from our home in Kent to retire in Devon, we didn’t know many people at all, so I decided to get stuck in.
I volunteered to drive people to and from hospital appointments, which is how I first met Gill and Steve. He needed to be taken to an appointment on the other side of Exeter, so we had a long chance to chat in the car. We really struck it off, so I suggested we meet for drinks. We quickly became close friends, and added Jacqui and Eddie to our group a few months later when we met them at a dinner.
Even though we’ve not known each other for years and years, I already feel that I could just call either of the other couples up if I felt down, or if I had broken down in my car and needed help.
Having friends so close by in lockdown has been a godsend. Unlike other older people we never felt isolated: we sat outside on our terraces and could have a drink and a chat. I called them “shout out” drinks because of how far we had to sit apart.
Because we live in a retirement complex, then there was always someone walking past your front door who you could shout hello to. It feels a bit like being back at university and having lots of friends together living in halls. Even when restrictions were at their tightest and we didn’t meet at all, we still called each other all the time for a chat on the phone.
What brought the six of us together was our similar senses of humour, and the fact we’re all quite open-minded and willing to try new things. I’ve always had quite adventurous hobbies, and signed myself up for a parachute jump to raise money for charity before the pandemic. As soon as I told the others they said “Great, we’re coming to watch - and catch you, probably”.
Gillian Stevens, 85
I feel incredibly lucky to have found such good friends in my later life. My husband Steve, 90, and I have always been very sociable: before we retired, we ran a holiday park together in Worcestershire where we were meeting people all day long.
When Steve could no longer drive, we decided to move down to Exeter to be close to one of our three sons, and live somewhere that would be easier to get around without a car. We met the two couples Jacqui and Eddie and Jenny and Alan and got on very well and quickly became close.
During lockdown, Steve unfortunately caught a non-Covid-related illness and had to be admitted to hospital. He was in there for 16 days and sometimes it was touch and go whether or not he’d make it. He was even in there over his 90th birthday - but luckily he was treated by wonderful nurses who got him a cake and sang Happy Birthday to him.
I could have become extremely lonely in that time, locked down at home alone, worrying about my husband. But I was very lucky to have my friends at Millbrook: Jacqui and Jenny called me all the time to check up on me.
When Steve was allowed out of the hospital, he had to go into quarantine for another 14 days. Again, this would have been a lot harder if there weren’t the others who could sit a few metres away from us and have a bit of a chat with me.
The six of us meet up at least once a week now, to go for dinner or for a walk. Whenever we see them we think we’ll be there for a couple of hours, but end up being there for four or five. That’s when you know you’re true friends.
